I had to really think about whether or not to pose this question here on allnurses. But after some thought, I would like to get some feedback on how to deal with this awkward situation. I am at a loss.
We recently hired a new employee. He seemed a bit odd at first, but I just chalked it up to my perception being off. A few days later, I was having lunch in the break room and hear him telling a co-worker EVERYTHING about his life. He left nothing out. We were all sitting at the same table, and he did not speak in a quiet tone. He was describing how he was sexually abused all his life by his father, that his wife died a year ago, leaving him with 4 kids to raise on his own-two of them with special needs; how his financial struggles are never-ending. He says that he is anxious because his mother had a heart attack last week and he had to leave work early (and did our co-worker think that management would look unfavorably upon him because he had to leave early?). Then he announced that his new girlfriend just died from a seizure. Our co-worker patiently listened and invited him to join her church to see if he would find a support group there that he liked. The rest of us ate our lunch quickly and left the break room.
Last week, more than a few co-workers approached me and told me that this new employee was making them uncomfortable, because he was elaborating on his life's challenges.
I don't know what to do. If what this guy says is true...Oh. Em. Gee. What an awful hand in life he was dealt! On the other hand, I don't think that it is appropriate for him to divulge such intimate details of his life in the workplace.
Here is my dilemma:
1. Should I talk to him directly about this, stating that I am empathetic to his multiple plights, but that he should focus on pt care while he is at work; (this seems very cold to me) or
2. Should I let our NM know what is going on? (I don't want to get him in trouble and consequently add MORE to his plate.) I am not his direct supervisor, although I am the charge nurse and a few employees have already asked that they not be assigned to him during his orientation.
Thanks for your thoughts. I really don't know what action I should take, but know that I must do SOMETHING. The staff don't know what to do either...this is a very awkward situation.
His problems are his problems. I am his coworker, not his mom or therapist.
I am there to work not to be an audience to drama.
Maybe nurses are different in that they feel an obligation to take on this man's problems.
My husband says I think like a man sometimes.
My take on it was not that they were wanting to take on his problems, but address the problems he's causing them. Get him to redirect the dumping of personal info.....
Specializes in Critical Care; Cardiac; Professional Development.
I guess my viewpoint is a little different.
His problems are his problems. I am his coworker, not his mom or therapist.
I am there to work not to be an audience to drama.
Maybe nurses are different in that they feel an obligation to take on this man's problems.
My husband says I think like a man sometimes.
I pretty much agree with this. I am all for helping another, but this guy sounds as if helping him could lead to other serious boundary issues - something I personally don't have the energy or resources or desire to deal with. I'd be avoiding him like the plague myself.
xtxrn, ASN, RN
4,267 Posts
I just don't think it's unethical to approach the guy- and see if things can be worked out on more of a peer level. :)