An Atheist Nurse in King James Hospital

[EMSnurse411]

Are there any other atheist nurses out there? How do you handle how religious healthcare is? I don't feel comfortable praying with a patient but I will find someone who is comfortable but the minute I say "I am not comfortable praying with you but let me go get you someone who can pray with you" and I go ask other people on the floor if they would pray with my patient I have been told everything from "just suck it up and fake it" to "I wish you atheists would quit trying to push your religion down our throats" to the other nurses saying I should be fired because this is a Christian (insert hospital or state or country).

i have never tried to convert someone away from their religion. There are not a lot off options since the hospitals in my area are St Joseph's, St Anthony's, Lutheran

[chopwood carrywater]

The original post is anti-Catholic bigotry. I do not believe that this level of discrimination and harassment would be tolerated in the U.S.

Praying with or for a stranger is not within my sphere of responsibility. It is within the sphere of that person's family, friends, and place of worship. I leave the room when the clergy person leads the family in prayer. It is their moment, not mine.

To me, asking heathcare workers to pray for a stranger rises

to level of superstition. As if God will listen to Maggie because she's a nurse and I want everyone praying for me so I get what I want.

Most people can guess what my personal convictions are but

it doesn't mean that I am willing to share that part of myself with a stranger. Nor do I want to be a substitute clergy person for someone who has not attended their church in forty years.

I get and respect your point of view and your actions that are a result of those beliefs. I agree with your thoughts on god(s) and religion as well. But for my own part, I will bend my head and think kind thoughts. Hell, I'll even do a "if you really are out there and listening" thought once in a while. I just feel for them, and while I would have no problems laying my cards down on the table and giving someone my reasons for my non belief and my criticism of much of religion - and all dogmatic thinking - I also feel that the person who is asking this of me is in a vulnerable place and I want to be kind. The fact that my pts are in hospice makes me even more likely to simply now my head without getting into a theological throw down.

That's not to say that I have not stood up for my beliefs. I have had family and visitors ask me what church I belong to and if they keep pressing me I tell them I am a non believer. I do not challenge their logic or sanity in being believers- again, not the time or place - but that's me. And truly, I mean no disrespect to you.

Live and let live.

Live long and prosper.

Lechaim.

[dianah, ASN]

Please folks, refrain from name-calling, personal attacks and off-topic remarks.

Confine your responses to the subject of the thread only.

Post only what you would say in front of a group of professionals.

Thank you.

[mvass1]

It is very difficult to be an athiest and a nurse. Some of the core beliefs of healing relate to prayer. I am not one to pray with a patient. I have been told by many patient's that I should seek God or find religion before it is too late. I think you do the right thing by getting someone to pray with the patient rather than compromise your own beliefs. After all, those who think that you are pushing your religious view on others doing the same by pushing their own religious views on you? I know that because people hold strong to their convictions and you are doing the right thing by hanging on to yours. Just because you work for a faith based hospital does not mean you have to believe. If I come across these situations, I just ask for pastoral care to come in. If it is important to the patient, that is fine with me. I do not have to be religious to make them feel better. I do that just by addressing their needs.

[Thessaly36]

The more posts I read on this site the happier I am that I live and work in California. I very rarely have any issues with my atheism and when I do get an ultra religious patient I just avoid the question for their comfort not mine. I would never pray with a patient and I have told them I believe prayer is a private matter and if they need I will have the chaplain come in. I cannot imagine working in some closed minded area with a bunch of ignorant people threatening me because I don't believe in their sky fairy. My suggestion is move to a better state. Plus in California we have better pay and patient ratios.

[DLStango, BSN, RN]

First of all, for full disclosure, I am a Catholic Christian. I think it is horrible how some of your co-workers treated you. Beliefs or not, you are a human being and people have no right to belittle you for your beliefs. If anything, it is completely un-Christian. That being said, I respect that you feel strongly that you do not wish to mislead anyone by pretending to hold beliefs you do not have and asking someone who is of similar faith to pray with your patient. I think that is ideal and is respectful to both your patient and yourself. If there are not people with that you could ask (without a snarky answer), taking the time to be present to your patient in a moment of silence seems like the best solution. Like others who posted, I would not recommend leading a prayer for something you don't believe in. You must be true to yourself.

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

I wondered it anyone would get the homage to Mark Twain. (Ok so I am an atheist nerd). Luckily, I guess, I was raised catholic and went to catholic school so if I have to fake it I can. Our hospital has prayers paged over head several times a day (5 or 6 I think) and I usually ignore it but I really realized how bad it can be when my father was a patient and they were wheeling him down the hall to surgery and they announced prayer time and proceeded to start reciting the 23rd Psalm so as he is heading in the OR you hear echoing in the hallway "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil" it actually scared my very religious father (we had already had a spooky occurrence on the way to hospital where as we were stopped at a light in front of the Bassillica, The Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception, a long line of cardinals passed in front of the car at the same time there was an error on the radio station and the song 'sold at the Grundy county auction' seemed to get stuck playing and repeating the line "Gimme a sign, gimme a sign, gimme a sign" so he was already spooked then to have that psalm recited as he went in. Plus he had found out right before his surgery to remove colon cancer that his mother was diagnosed with colon cancer so that psalm was the icing on the crazy spooky cake)

I don't want to like this, I just want to commiserate with this.

[NocturneRN]

Could you just say, "You're in my thoughts"? Most of the time, I think, patients just want to feel that you care about them, and will continue to care about them even after they're not right there in front of you.

[Spiker, ASN, RN, EMT-P]

I have to agree with the majority of the comments here. While I'm NOT an atheist (don't judge, as I don't judge) I do believe in being respectful to our patients' needs & feelings. If they wish to pray before I bring them into the Operating Room, I'll step back & allow them their moment. Often the family is still with them in the Holding Area, & this being the Bible Belt, (& a Catholic-based hospital) many have their pastors/religious leaders present as well. I'll bow my head in respect, share an "amen" & then as we move off to the OR, tell the family we'll take excellent care of their loved one. I've even had few patients (in my 33 OR years) hold my hand tightly & say a prayer as they go off to sleep. I have no problem with that, as I believe healing is aided by the psyche, so why not give it a try. I don't think you should consider it hypocritical to do something that helps your patient in the long run.

[hcworker]

To a request to pray with me, I'd simply say, pleasantly, "Sorry, I'm not comfortable with that."

Praying is not part of the job and nobody should feel obligated to do it.

To an inquiry about one's religion, I'd say, "Religion is something that's very personal and I don't like to talk about it."

Be offhand, smile and show a pleasant, "I'm sure you understand" manner and you'll get away clean.

Your employer has no right to ask such questions even if it's a Catholic hospital and you're not a Christian.

Your supervisor will probably hear about whatever answer you give so it's best to give no information and sidestep tactfully.

If you're really an atheist it's probably best to evade the issue entirely.

Although an atheist is defined as one who can't in good conscience believe (as opposed to one who actively disbelieves), most believers feel threatened by just the idea of it and if you are an atheist it's best not to engage or even to reveal that.

[traumaRUs, MSN, APRN]

Back to the topic at hand - no name-calling or divisive posting as another staff member asked....

[NocturneRN]

Wow! I'm going to suggest that to the ER doctors and NPs, the next time one of our usual suspects asks for Dilaudid.

[Callie53]

I tell coworkers all the time there are 2 things I do not discuss at work, religion and politics (I some times don't do well on the politics). I let everyone know that each person has their own religious preference and none are the same (think Baptist and Catholic). 5 people in a room 5 different views on religion.

Employers can not discriminate on religious bases. If some one threatens your job you need to take it to HR. I am sure the hospital will put a stop to that. They don't want a discrimination lawsuit or the fall out when the state/federal labor board hears about it. They will lose there medicare/medicaid and other privileges in the fallout.

FYI I worked at a Catholic hospital for 25 yrs. If a pt asked me to pray with them (only happened once), I offer to get the chaplain on-call for them.I tell them I am not comfortable with praying w/ them on account of religious difference. If asked my religion, I tell them I do not talk about religion in the work place.

FYI I was raised a Mennonite (think very progressive Amish).