Am I out of line?

msdt37767 · Mar 17, 2015

If you feel that circumstances warranted a extension don't feel bad. You are not the first to ask and you will not be the last. Instead of worrying a about the request spend the time you have studying, so no matter the answer you are prepared.

PaulBaxter · Mar 17, 2015

I imagine your "feeling bad" about this is just a spillover from your emotions about your father's health. There is NOTHING wrong with telling a professor about a serious situation in your life and asking for an extension. You professor, most likely, is a human being and will treat you as compassionately as they can within the confines of your program requirements.

I've seen it happen a few times in my program and it was no problem. I think the more difficult thing will be setting aside your emotions enough to effectively study your course material. That's a tall order, and I don't envy you at all.

JustBeachyNurse, LPN · Mar 17, 2015

I think if this is your first request your instructor will appreciate you coming forward with your emotionally difficult family situation. Your guilt is indicative that you are concerned both about your education and family. Not waiting until after the test is preferred. If we missed due to unforeseen circumstances we had until before the next class to contact the instructor. This policy allowed for unexpected emergencies such as yours or a motor vehicle collision or sudden illness.

Your reported record of educational responsibility and diligence I'm certain has been noticed throughout yore school career. Do not feel guilty for circumstances you cannot control. Study when you can. One tip do not discuss any accommodations with your classmates. Your personal situation is between you and your instructors and school administration. People have ways of twisting reality when jealous that your good academic standing and forethought worked in your favor. Ask me how I know.

Take care of your self and well wishes for you and your family in this most difficult time. I wasn't yet in nursing school when my father became ill but it made me a stronger nurse and advocate in the long run including planning for the unexpected.

dowhatthouwilt · Mar 17, 2015

Thank you all for your replies. The last two replies were compassionate and I appreciate that! I got a reply and she basically said that "per policy" the only way to get out of an exam is acute illness or a death in the family. I guess near death just doesn't make the cut. I'm sure I will be crying through this exam. I get it, it's the policy. I guess I'm just a bit surprised... not that she said no, but in the reply she didn't say anything like "I hope you feel better" or "I'm sorry to hear about your father". I just found that a little cold. Maybe I'm just extra sensitive right now, but my feelings are kind of hurt.

dowhatthouwilt · Mar 17, 2015

I can't even remember the last time I felt this miserable... I don't know how I'm going to survive this semester.

cynmrn · Mar 17, 2015

I felt the same way when I asked for an extension for some paper that I was writing. Our instructors always encouraged us to let them know ahead of time if there were unforseen circumstances that might prevent us from completing our work to the best of our ability. They were really understanding (sometimes, I felt too understanding when I was busting my butt and others were getting extensions), but I still hated asking because I pride myself on my work ethic. If this is the one time that you ask, and you are in your final term, I wouldn't feel guilty. You truly had a lot going on, and it's a reasonable request.

caliotter3 · Mar 17, 2015

Do not feel bad for asking. At least you took the effort to do that. Others might have just stayed home and then tried to get consideration after the fact. Sorry to hear of your father's illness. If it makes any difference, my father passed away and my nursing instructor was going to fail me because I missed the midterm due to going home to help my mother. So, there is not necessarily a lot of compassion to go around on that front. I would imagine that instructors get jaded from hearing a lot of bogus excuses. I hope your father gets well soon.

msdt37767 · Mar 17, 2015

Sorry she could not provide you the extension nor provide you some compassion. Hope your father is doing better and that you are able to get through the test and semester.

northmississippi · Mar 17, 2015

in nursing school we had to do make up test at the end of the year if you missed one.

dowhatthouwilt · Mar 17, 2015

Well, I never thought I'd thank my crippling anxiety but because of all the stress I ended up getting very nauseous and vomiting a few times in the class I have prior to the exam. My professor noticed something was up and talked to me in the hall where I told her everything. She told me I'm in no shape to take an exam and to go home and that she would email my professor and tell her that she was a witness to me being sick. So just remember for every cold, non compassionate professor there is an awesome, understanding one!

SunriseDay · Mar 17, 2015

I've asked for extensions before... not in nursing school, but during pre-requisites. From my experience, after getting an extension for an illness, the instructor will usually not give you a recommendation letter afterwards even when you get an 'A'. I think it is because they are so used to getting excuses and are skeptical. Some have requirements such as a prescription or records from a dr, others are more lenient and will take your word for it.

It sounds like she might have not believed you, but I'm glad you got an extension due to your other instructor.