Am I crazy for this?

Nurses General Nursing

Published

I was enrolled in a BSN program, didn't pass my critical care class and wound up getting kicked out of my program. Luckily for me, I had enough education to get an exception from my school to take my NCLEX-PN. I passed hte test last week and received my license yesterday in the mail. I was really excited!

My problem (and question) is this: I live on the Oregon/Washington border, all the jobs are in OR, but due to not passing a PN course, I am not eligible to reciprocate my license and cannot work there. I'm also not eligible for a majority of jobs in my state due to the same problem.

I'm looking for work, but all I can think about is how much I want my RN! I'm looking at LPN-RN programs and am going to start working on getting approval for and enrolled in a program at a community college near me.

My sister in law has decided what I'm doing is completely her business and has sent my mom multiple emails about how dare they continue to support me while I work my life out and try to achieve my goals. I've talked to several close friends who are fully supportive of my decisions (as are my parents), but I can't help but feel like I'm crazy for wanting to better my life. My reasoning is simple. I spent 8 years in college working as hard as I possibly could for my RN (I'm 35), only to have my world fall out from underneath me when I didn't pass my class. I've gone this far in my life, I really want to be able to use all the skills I've worked so hard to learn.

Specializes in LTC Rehab Med/Surg.

There is no way to point out the obvious, without sounding negative and judgemental. I felt neither of those things when posting.

I almost feel like the story was posted for controversy.

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What you do or don't do is not a bit of your sister-in-law's (or for that matter your brother's) business. I am assuming that your parents are not of un-sound mind or any reason that you are "taking advantage" of them etc. What would motivate a person to get involved in something that is none of her concern? It is not as if you are living with your sister in law's parents!! These are your own parents.

There is many examples of traditions where unmarried adult children live with parents. Because you mention loans, it seems like your parents are not footing the entire bill for your college education, and even if they were--it is no one's business but your own.

If my brother's wife started issues about the relationship/business/how I interact (whatever you want to call it) with my own parents, I would think her a bit off. As would my parents. Hit the delete button and move on with your life.

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Specializes in Nursing Supervisor.

OK, I'll say it.

Yep, you're crazy. Nosey sister-in-law not withstanding, you're 35... It's time to put your big girl panties on and grow up. Get a job, move out, support yourself, and then if you feel the yearning for further education go ahead and go for it... while continuing to support yourself on your own. Then you can tell your sister-in-law to (insert your wording of choice here).

Besides, even if your parents continue to "support" you, I'd bet that (not-so) deep down they are anxiously awaiting having the house to themselves... Speaking as a parent, and as a sibling with brother(s) still living at home in their mid-thirties... get a job, support yourself, and MOVE OUT.

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I worked 16 hour shifts Saturday and Sunday and went to school Monday through Friday full time. 32 hours work qualified as full time and got insurance coverage, paid the bills. Sure I was tired Monday,but I made a 3.8 gpa. Stop leaning on your parents. Plus you will stay single the longer you live with them. Men see it as very dependant and not attractive.

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I worked 16 hour shifts Saturday and Sunday and went to school Monday through Friday full time. 32 hours work qualified as full time and got insurance coverage, paid the bills. Sure I was tired Monday,but I made a 3.8 gpa. Stop leaning on your parents. Plus you will stay single the longer you live with them. Men see it as very dependant and not attractive.

What does "what men see as attractive "got to do with this? And BTW... men are quite turned on by dependent women, they think they can control them.

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Let me guess... sister-in- law is either a stay at home mom or work's at Mc Donald's.

It is NOBODY'S business if your parents continue to help you with obtaining your education.

Please stop spending precious energy on old sis, after of course you politely tell her to butt out.

Good luck, it's a jungle out here.

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A sister IN LAW has absolutely no reason to be in your business.

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I feel your pain. I too have a nosy, judgmental S-I-L. I cannot understand why she would think this is any of her business. This is between you and your parents. I don't see the big deal. If they are supportive and don't mind you living with them, then she is the one with issues. I also have spent many years in school. I got B.A.'s in psychology and sociology before deciding on nursing. Then I took 2 years of general classes while waiting to get into nursing school. Then 2 more years for my ADN, and 2 more years again (part-time) for my BSN. I am 42. I have a brother with many problems who is in his 50s, lives with my mom, and has cost her tons. This is also non of my business as long as my mom wants to do this and is in her right mind. She would be ticked if I tried to tell her what to do.

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I maintained a 40 hour work week during the day and a full time accelerated BSN program on nights and weekends at age 45. I maintained a 3.5 GPA

2 other ladies older than me did the same thing and one was a single mom of 2 school age children. She graduated magna cum laude

Supporting oneself when seeking a higher education can be done if you have the wherewithal

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Specializes in LTC Rehab Med/Surg.

Count me surprised. The OP is a 35 yr old career student, leeching off aging parents, and the thread wants to dog the sister-in-law for being nosey.

Jobless on top of everything else, because it's too hard to go to school and work.

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I maintained a 40 hour work week during the day and a full time accelerated BSN program on nights and weekends at age 45. I maintained a 3.5 GPA

2 other ladies older than me did the same thing and one was a single mom of 2 school age children. She graduated magna cum laude

Supporting oneself when seeking a higher education can be done if you have the wherewithal

That is very impressive. We don't have any nursing programs in which classes are held nights and weekends where I live. In fact, I ended up having to quit my job during nursing school because the nursing program would not accommodate for students' employment and my job would also not accommodate my clinical schedule. This is part of the reason Americans are stressed and depressed. If you are not living up to others' standards, you are judged. Making things easier on yourself by allowing help from others is looked down upon. It is great that you and your friends were able to do this, but not everyone can.

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If you passed the NCLEX PN, why isn't your LPN licence valid? I don't understand that part.

If you have a PN licence I recommend getting a job as a LPN ASAP.

Then you can work FT as LPN and save up some money. Or you can work PT and attend a new RN program.

At this point in your life, grad school seems like a foolish choice, IMHO

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