After a pedi code...

Peds codes are tough, really tough. And yes, your instinct to stay far away is a good one. Follow it.

I follow up on transfers through whichever doc handled it on my side as they can fairly easily get updates.

Have you talked to colleagues who were in the code with you? We debrief amongst ourselves after all codes and especially the bad ones. Check with your manager about debriefing options.

And while we are basically strangers here on an, a lot of us have been where you are and know how you feel.

You can contribute to the go fund me page. I think it would be therapeutic. Please talk this out.

I had my first pedi code recently. I am kind of a mess. I connected pretty intensely with the family. The patient transferred to another hospital.

I so want to know how the patient is doing, if there's any progress, et cetera. I know this is inappropriate (even tho the rn i transferred her too said "call me anytime for an update"!)

Does anyone have advice for dealing with this sadness? I feel almost preoccupied/obscessed with the patient and her family. I am going to speak with an employee assistance counsellor today and heard we will have a debrief

Also.. patients parents and i have mutual friends who have shared a gofundme page for the family. I really can't make a donation, correct?

I fear that there may be malpractice case in the future (not necessarily me.. but the hospital and others)

I just need to stay miles away right?

This is normal and compassionate. I do not believe calling the transferring RN for an update is inappropriate. In fact, I think it is therapeutic if you want to call or ask MD to get the information, as suggested above.. After you are in the room participating in such a traumatic event, a follow through is important, IMO. It is in cases such as these that I find HIPAA counter intuitive. After the first SIDS I was involved with, I requested a debriefing, which helped me a lot. An employee assistance counselor would also be beneficial. Let your feelings be your guide.

Pediatrics is one of those specialties where we toe in the line with the whole "boundaries" thing. :) I think donating to the go fund me would be 100% fine. Definitely find someone to talk to. It is never easy to watch a child die (or try to die!!), no matter how long you do this.