nevertelling

I had my first pedi code recently. I am kind of a mess. I connected pretty intensely with the family. The patient transferred to another hospital. I so want to know how the patient is doing, if there's any progress, et cetera. I know this is inappropriate (even tho the rn i transferred her too said "call me anytime for an update"!) Does anyone have advice for dealing with this sadness? I feel almost preoccupied/obscessed with the patient and her family. I am going to speak with an employee assistance counsellor today and heard we will have a debrief Also.. patients parents and i have mutual friends who have shared a gofundme page for the family. I really can't make a donation, correct? I fear that there may be malpractice case in the future (not necessarily me.. but the hospital and others) I just need to stay miles away right?

I am an RN on a busy surgical floor. I have been at this job for almost a year now. I love being a nurse. However, not too long ago I got written up at work. A patient complained about me. My manager gave me the feedback that my coworkers percieve me me as overwhelmed and that I always seem stressed out. I admit, I am stressed out sometimes. Probably more often than not. But I want to perceived as caring and competent. I don't know what to change. I don't think I even realize what I'm doing. Honestly, I've never had many friends, always been picked on/unpopular. Is there something unlikable about me? I know it might be hard to respond to this question... I m not even sure what the question is? Anyone experience something similar? Do I maybe need to work in a less stressful environment? Just feeling lost and like a failure