Advice please!

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I am a school nurse at a small school with no guidance counselor to help. A student is going to confide in me that her parent is an alcoholic (according to friends). If I determine that parent is not endangering student, what help do I give her?

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I would definitely speak with admin about it. Do you have a psychologist? They are often a valuable source of information as well.

How old is the child?

Is one parent an alcoholic and the other sober or are they both alcoholics (or is there just 1 parent in the picture?)

My concerns are that even if the parent is not endangering the child immediately, they still are. If the child is young and the parent gets so schnaukered they pass out, that is endangering them. What if they get into a car with them? What if they are out at the bar and don't come home until 3AM, leaving the child to care for themselves? There are so many what ifs that I would be worried about.

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Specializes in kids.

SO many concerns for a kid...how old? developmentally on track? If s/he has an IEP or 504, the case manager may have some family hx. DO a deep review of the childs file, especially if they have transferred in form another school. An older child might be able to acces AL ANON resources easier than a younger child.

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Specializes in Pediatrics Retired.

The child's age does make a big difference. Excellent advice above. Just this school year we had a mom, with a similar history, come to pick up her 1st grader. Staff members made a keen observation the mom exhibited signs of intoxication and a stall on handing off the child was initiated until a police officer arrived. After "the nod" from the Officer, the child was taken back inside the school so they would not witness their mom being arrested for DWI in the school parking lot; a heartbreaking scenario but the consequences could have been much worse if the mom had been allowed to drive away with the child in the car. Dad was called to come pick up the child. Mom was subsequently banned by court order from picking up her child from school...sad, sad, sad.

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I feel like I know the answer already....but...what about parents who pick up their kids high on marijuana? Report to DCF? Dont let them get in the car? Both?

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Specializes in Pediatrics Retired.
1 hour ago, Skigirl978 said:

I feel like I know the answer already....but...what about parents who pick up their kids high on marijuana? Report to DCF? Dont let them get in the car? Both?

How do you "KNOW" they are high on marijuana? I know you know but how can you prove it?

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The man smells so strongly of pot. There is almost a cloud around him. True, I guess I can’t “prove” it...it just doesn’t seem safe to me...

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Specializes in Pediatrics Retired.
2 hours ago, Skigirl978 said:

The man smells so strongly of pot. There is almost a cloud around him. True, I guess I can’t “prove” it...it just doesn’t seem safe to me...

Frustrating...

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Specializes in Med-surg, school nursing..

As a child of an alcoholic father...

I would get more information from the student. Were they just confiding that dad drinks a lot? Is he abusive in any way? Does he drive with the student in the car?

My dad was an alcoholic but I was always well taken care of, he just drank a lot. Apparently he grew weed too, he likes to tell stories on how I once went to my mom (divorced) and told her that dad was growing trees in the closet. I never knew what it was.

All of that to say, make sure the child is being cared for, just because dad has demons, doesn't mean he is a bad father.

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Specializes in school nursing.
31 minutes ago, OyWithThePoodles said:

As a child of an alcoholic father...

I would get more information from the student. Were they just confiding that dad drinks a lot? Is he abusive in any way? Does he drive with the student in the car?

My dad was an alcoholic but I was always well taken care of, he just drank a lot. Apparently he grew weed too, he likes to tell stories on how I once went to my mom (divorced) and told her that dad was growing trees in the closet. I never knew what it was.

All of that to say, make sure the child is being cared for, just because dad has demons, doesn't mean he is a bad father.

I'm in agreement with all of this. I grew up with an alcoholic father as well. He never drove after drinking, so that was never an issue. He provided for all of us, cared for us, was emotionally "there" for us.. Just drank a lot at home after work...a LOT. I hated that he was an alcoholic and it did interfere with some things, but nothing CPS worthy.

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Oncology, School Nursing, OB.

I grew up with an alcoholic dad and step-dad. My step dad drove after drinking all the time but he never really seemed drunk just happy and relaxed so I never felt unsafe although looking back-yikes! He was never arrested for DUI. My dad never drank around us. However, he would go out to the bars and get super drunk and arrested for DUI and in wrecks every once in a while. He would get mean when he got drunk and the other would be mean until he drank. Two different kinds of alcoholics. The one I felt most safe with was actually putting me the most at risk so just be aware when you talk to the student they may not feel unsafe even if they are.

Also, if a student is confiding in you that their dad is an alcoholic then I would report it to CPS. Whether or not they do anything is one thing but it IS their job to investigate and it will protect you if anything bad were ever to happen as a result. Also, if CPS does come and interview the dad, maybe it will wake him up that he needs help.

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