Adoption Issues

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I understand that adoption is an issue that L&D nurses must deal with. How frequently does a patient come into the hospital planning on placing a baby for adoption, but end up leaving with their newborn, compared to someone planning to place their baby and going through with ithe placement?

Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

yep I have seen surrogate situations. Went remarkably well.

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Bama I am so sorry that happened to you. In my eyes that baby was yours. That is why my friend is doing an overseas adoption so that the birth mother can't come back. THe adoption system in this country is screwed up.

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Specializes in OB.

Adoption laws are unique to each state. I have recently gone to an adoption information seminar for health care profesionals, it was very informative in the nurses role in adoption. I agree with the others, the birth mom is treated like other mom's in the hosptial because at that point the baby is still hers, we give mom's all the choices, to see hold and care for thier baby, if she chooses not to then that is her choice, if she chooses to care for her baby then we have to let he, we can't just "take" the baby from her.

I only work L&D, so I don't see what happens past about 3 hours after birth. Have had one open adoption with adoptive mom in the room for delivery, and have had one where birht mom just wants to know what the sex is, she didn't want to see of hold her baby. That baby was cared for by the nurses until it left the hospital with the adoption agency.

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Bama- I am from alabama also, and 5 days after the adoption papers are signed, the birth parents cannot 'change their minds'.

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Have any of you dealt with surrogacy? Might be another thing to "prepare" for. I think that can get ugly more so than adoptions.

We have surrogates fairly often where I work (partly because of California's laws on the matter). I've never seen any problems with it. I'd be a gestational surrogate for a couple who needed it, but they only want people who have had children already.

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I think the whole process of letting the birth mother interact with the baby is a grave injustice to the adoptive parents!:angryfire :angryfire :angryfire My wife and I had been trying to have children for 12 years when we decided to adopt, and the hosptial had this practice of "Creating Memories". We took our daughter home and 18 MONTHS later, the sheriff showed up with papers taking OUR baby from us to give to the birth mother!:angryfire :angryfire :angryfire :angryfire :angryfire :angryfire YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE HELL WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH BECAUSE OF THIS PRACTICE

I so feel for you. My parents had an open adoption. DISASTER and still is. My biological parents try to guilt me into being part of them and discredit my adoptive parents. I feel some open adoptions may work but the biological mother has to step back and know her place. Some of the bio. moms like to have their cake and eat it too

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We have surrogates fairly often where I work (partly because of California's laws on the matter). I've never seen any problems with it. I'd be a gestational surrogate for a couple who needed it, but they only want people who have had children already.

You shouldn't be a surrogate until you have already given birth and would be okay if you couldn't have kids if something went wrong. You can end up pregnant with multiples much more easily with IVF. I was a surrogate mother and had my surrodaughter in March. I couldn't have done it without the support of the nursing staff in L&D and M&B.

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You shouldn't be a surrogate until you have already given birth and would be okay if you couldn't have kids if something went wrong. You can end up pregnant with multiples much more easily with IVF. I was a surrogate mother and had my surrodaughter in March. I couldn't have done it without the support of the nursing staff in L&D and M&B.

I don't plan on having children of my own period, so I will never be able to be a surrogate either. I just don't feel any need to see my genes in another person (maybe that's part of me being raised by my non-bio family). If I did choose to start a family, I would rather adopt an older child who needed a home. We kind of joke that clearly the women in my family are all good at having children (we have 4 sets of twins, two babies that were born before the mom could make it to the hospital, no c-sections even with the twins), we just don't all want to raise them which is why I think surrogacy would be a nice thing. My mom couldn't carry a baby to term which is why they adopted, but nowadays with adoption being so difficult I don't know if they could have done it. I think surrogacy is the new way of making sure that great parents like them have the chance to become parents.

I'm glad things worked out well for you and you felt supported by the staff in the hospital:) I think what you did for that family is a wonderful thing.

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In my short OB career, (4 months) I have seen 4 pts chose not to parent their infants. All four of these birth mothers did in fact end up terminating their parental rights, although there was one patient I was pretty sure would end up deciding not to go through with it. She and her BF (not the FOB) bonded w/ the baby, changed diapers, cared for him, etc.

In our hospital, we allow (if we have room) the adoptive parents to stay in a room and also spend time with the baby. I think I must live in a unique county, something about adoptive parents being able to have the infant as soon as the court papers are signed, and I think in neighboring counties, the infant must first go to foster care.

I am in a special position in that I am (or will be soon) an adoptive parent. I will hopefully be going to China to get our daughter within the next 8 weeks:D . Naturally, I think I sympathize with the adoptive parents, but want what's best for the child.

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Hi Bama,I cannot imagine how this could have happened to you! My daughter put her baby up for adoption about 18 months ago, and the birth father's rights terminated the moment he signed (and had notarized) the form relinquishing his rights. My daughter signed papers (in front of a judge) when the baby was 11 days old, and was told that unless some extreme circumstance were to arise within the next 10 days) that her rights would be terminated 10 days later. They both understood that under NO circumstance whatsoever would they ever have any legal rights to the child again. Had the birthparents not relinquished their rights to the child in your case? I will say that without the opportunity to hold and spend time with her baby in the hospital, I don't think my daughter would have been willing to follow through with the adoption. I am so sorry for your pain, Lisa in TN

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Well ain't this just a dandy bit of liberal bleeding heart poor mother load of crap. The birth mother was a single mother who had been in and out of jail- not the ideal mother- and she just changed her mind and we got stuck with the hospital bills. As far as the courts are concerned- most states allow anywhere from 12months to 5 years for the birth mother, biological father, or any grandparent to "Change their minds." And yes- most of these are incubators who only care about the money!!:angryfire

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And yes- most of these are incubators who only care about the money!!:angryfire

I can tell you that my birth mother is nothing of the sort. And my parents never spoke of my adoption like I was a commodity they were buying either. Call it liberal bleeding heart crap all you want, I call it love. I hope you and your wife are able to have a family in the future. I'll leave this thread at that.

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