I'm currently doing an OB rotation and subsequent care plan. To give you a little background, my patient was a teenage mother, single, 11th grade education, no prenatal care but had an extremely suportive extended family network.
Two things in caring for this patient really stood out to me. Number 1, her cultural behavior was very inconsistent with the literatures' description of what was supposed to be the "norm" for her - "White Mainstream American." Rather, she displayed more of a mulitcultural make-up - more familial in nature and nonlinear in its approach. This is a growing phenomena I think we'll see more of as globalization continues. Number 2, developmental role achievement (this kind of goes back to linear vs. nonlinear approach to goal attainment/time orientation).
In my search for info. re. adolescent pregnancy, culture and nursing I ran across an article in Academic Search Premier Nurses' Attitudes and Childbearing Adolescents: Bridging the Cultural Chasm. And I'm sorry, I'd post the link to the article here if I knew how...:doh: Anyway, it was saying that sometimes early pregnancy can actually cause an acceleration in the development of the mothers b/c of all the responsiblity that goes along with it, etc. and that our view of almost universal delay is really based more on assumption than actual "rigorous inquiry and/or scientific evidence."
As I am exploring this issue I would LOVE to hear others' points of view/experiences! I've wrote a few questions below as ideas, if anyone would like to share. :kiss
Were you a teenage mom? Was your mom a teenage mom? Was your daughter a teenage mom? Sister, Aunt, Friend, etc.
What was it like for you? Them?
Were you/they socially isolated from your/their peers?
Were you/they stigmatized (sp???) and did you/they feel stigmatized when dealing with healthcare professionals?
Did this cause a serious delay in your/their developmental role achievements: becoming an adult with a formed identity, social status, financial status, etc. Or did you/they overcome this challenge and succeed?
What have been your experiences as a nurse dealing with this population? And what are some of the tools you use to "overcome this challenge and succeed"...lol?
I am really looking forward to hearing others' perspectives. Thanks!
HI! I was a teen mom. I had my first at 16, second at 18, and third (surprise!) at 22. I wish I could answer your first quesion simply, but I can't. I loved being a mom from the get-go. Having my daughter gave me an even greater drive and ambition to be sucessful and to prove all the stereotypes wrong.
Were you/they socially isolated from your/their peers?
Kind of. Before I got pregnant I had been going to a very small, private, christian school. I ran away from home following my freshman year, and was not allowed to return to the school, even when I offered to pay my own tuition from out of my babysitting money. (I had a steady babysitting job/live in nanny appox 80 hours/week.) So, for a year while I was pregnant, I was out of school...which led me to be VERY socially isolated from my peers. I still attended church youth groups, though not my original one...instead I attended a VERY large church that had it's own daycare that was open during youth group. That was really the only socialization I got until after my daughter was born, when I enrolled myself in a local school that was created for pregnant/parenting teens. (I didn't mention this previously, but no one knew I was pregnant...so the pregnancy wasn't the reason for not being allowed back at the school...it was just that I had rebelled and was thought to be a "bad influence")
Were you/they stigmatized (sp???) and did you/they feel stigmatized when dealing with healthcare professionals?
YES. I cannot stress this enough. I was never educated about any disease processes, vaccinations, routine medical terms and lab work values...I guess they assumed that since I was so young, I was unable to learn. When my daughter was young she had multiple ear infections, upper respiratory infections AND failure to thrive. No one EVER mentioned ways that I could prevent these things, or reasons that she might be so prone to them. Again, I can only assume that they thought that I wouldn't be receptive to teaching or suggestions. One doctor told me that my daughter had cystic fibrosis and that she wouldn't live to see 5 years old. He never told me what CF was, how they test for it, or why he thought she had it. Instead, it wasn't until the RN came in and saw me sobbing uncontrollably that we got a chest x-ray ordered and it was confirmed that she DID NOT HAVE CF. And then there was just the undermining of me as a parent...as in, if I questioned soething I was immediately dismissed with "Well, if you had more education...maybe you would know that the doctor is always right...blah blah blah..." Ugh, I could go on FOREVER.
Did this cause a serious delay in your/their developmental role achievements: becoming an adult with a formed identity, social status, financial status, etc. Or did you/they overcome this challenge and succeed?
Well, it did delay a few things. I graduated high school a semester behing my peers because I was out of school for a year. I had a small "wild streak" after my mom died, during which I put myself and my daughter in some risky situations. I got married young, and never really had an "adolescence". I occasionally miss it, but never to the point of being resentful. I started college right after I graduated, but I needed income so I started working more and going to school less, so that was delayed for a year or so. We are still pretty broke, financially, but that should get better after graduation :balloons: I have always been very driven and proactive, now I just have 3 more, very important reasons to be tenacious.
What have been your experiences as a nurse dealing with this population? And what are some of the tools you use to "overcome this challenge and succeed"...lol?
I am hoping to work with the teen parent population after graduation. I think education is SO IMPORTANT for them! I know that not all of them will be as receptive as I would have been, and that's alright. I have to at least see that they are being given the opportunities that they deserve. They are a difficult breed of people- they can be rebellious, loud, ignorant, and downright irresponsible...but a lot of times they are scared and have no idea how else to handle their situation.
I am really looking forward to hearing others' perspectives. Thanks!
This was the main reason I became a nurse I gave birth 2 months after I turned 17 and recioeved horrible treatment from my nurses they closed the door and pretended I wasn't there. I learned how to breast feed by watching a video. I vowed that I would become a nurse so that My patients would never feel that alone. I have been a nurse for three years, going to school was achallenge but I had great support in highschool and college. Being a mom so early made me take stock of my priorities and made me change my ways as soon as I found out I was pregnant. I am now married and have three children 9, 2 and 2 months. I wouldn't change a thing.
I had my first at 16 and took to it very well! I did lose all of my friends but I think that was more due to me being married than anything. I didn't have the family support and I really wish I did. I was lucky to be graduating hs early anyway and I graduated when she was 3 wks old. DH and I didn't live with family, although there was family nearby and they hated me and spread nasty rumors about my parenting that really hurt me. They didn't help. I wish someone had told me to keep a tshirt on her, lol! I think my child went with diaper only for about the whole summer! I now have two children and am still married to the same man. Our marriage was a shotgun one, and we really had to work to get where we are. I am now an LPN trying to get my RN. I have done things backwards in life, but it's worked out well for me.
ETA: Labor and delivery were horrible experiences for me! I had Medicaid at the time and all they would cover for pain was darvocet (supposedly) so my 1st was just about natural. Now, the nurses were great, I don't remember any bias or feeling like I was a freak, lol!
Personally, I think that it's a crap shoot as to how a teen will do with parenthood, just like it's pretty much the same with "adults". I've seen plenty of older, alledgedly more "mature" people having children who have no idea about what parenting is about. I have raised 2 of my kids since ages 2 & 4. Though they are legally my stepchildren, they are MY kids. Hubby's ex has had almost nothing to do with them and they're 19 & 22 now.
I got pregnant at age 17 and had my twins 6 weeks or so before I turned 18. I remember being angry at people for all the comments such as, "Oh, she'll never finish school now." and "So much for her college plans." Well, I took my last high school final exam about 3 hours before I ended up in the hospital with eclampsia (right at the Christmas break). I 'walked' with my classmates at graduation the following June. I began college a year or so later but due to divorce I was forced to quit and work. Eventually, I did go back to school and finish (though by that time I was a single mom of 3 kids). I ended up getting my AAS as a paralegal 10 years after high school graduation.... both with honors.
I certainly made a lot of mistakes but was a pretty good mom I think. My kids (all 5) are mentally and physically healthy. Most have been and/or are high honors students. One of the twins recently graduated from college and is now a teacher. Two others are persuing post-secondary educations, one graduates from hs this year and was just sworn into the National Guard today. The youngest is only 15. They're community minded too. No, even an imperfect mom can raise successful kids...... all contrary to the numerous comments that were made by people who I thought were friends, etc.
Yes, I was forced into change my college plans and my life was a heck of a site different that I'd planned on but I wouldn't change anything. Here I am though, having just turned 41, in nursing school. The med school dream became a non-option 23 years ago but I'm still going to be doing something I will love.
I was stigmatized by some people but not all. I was socially isolated some mostly because when I got married I changed schools and didn't know anyone. I transitioned pretty well into the new role and never had a problem with the identity formation. It did take me much longer than many of my peers though to achieve a higher financial status. I was treated with nothing but respect by my doctor and nurses.
I am sure that a major factor in my success has been the support of my family...financial, emotional, etc. We are a close knit group and though my parents were seriously disappointed in me, they made my college education possible. Also, though I was divorced early on, my ex and I had no residual problems and got along great (better after the divorce) and his family is awesome as well. I think that family support is important in anyone's lives and makes a difference.
Four of my children are beyond the age that I had my twins. Frankly, I'm glad they have no children yet because I want them to be able to persue their dreams with fewer distractions. I look forward to grandkids some day though.
Regarding these babies having babies though, I'm talking 12, 13, 14, & 15 year olds..... I blame the parents. Maybe I"m too overprotective but you better believe I knew where my kids were at that age and I always know where my 15 year old is. I know it's harder as they get older to keep up with them and kids are going to do what they're going to do, no matter what we do to try to steer them differently. It just bothers me that a 12 year old would have that much unchaperoned time with the opposite sex. I realize the world is different now. Seventeen was incredibly young in the early 80's when I was in that position...... they know so much more now.
Okay, I'm rambling on and better stop. I can't see this whole thing so I'm not even sure it makes sense......
Specializes in RN: L&D, LPN: Med/Surg, CNA: MedSurg/LTC.
I'm a teen mom. I had my daughter a month before I turned 16. I'm married to her father, we've been together for 5 years. I was gonna become a veterinarian until I had her, now I'm going to be a midwife and I can't wait to help and support other teen moms. My midwife and all the nurses at the hospital in Oklahoma City (my hometown) were very supportive and made me want to get in the nursing profession even more. My mom (who got a lot of flack for being a 35 yr old grandma haha) was gonna become a nurse until her whole right side became paralyzed because of an aneuryzm (I know for a fact I spelled that wrong lol) she had in her 20s. My mom and grandma supported me but everyone else pretty much stopped talking to me. Now I'm on my own in a completely different state away from everyone else and I had to learn how to do the simplest things (like how to do laundry) on my own. My hubby is in the Marines and he asked all his friends how they have nice fancy cars when they get paid the same salary as he does and they all said their family GAVE it to them which was a shock to us as we had to buy our car and everything in our house by ourselves. but anyway lol. I hope those of you who look bad upon teen parents dont show how you feel to their faces as the lack of support COULD be why they act the way they do. I treat everyone how they treat me. If you give me an attitude, I give you one back. If you show me respect, I show you respect. I'm also not fake or two faced and will tell you how I feel if I think I'm being disrespected. Also, I think it's pretty dumb to blame the parents for their teens becoming parents as obviously they are different people and responsible for their own actions and the parents arent going to be watching their every move 24/7 and cant avoid anything. If someone really wants to do drugs for example (which I've never done), then they will do it. If you tell them you will kick them outta your house, beat them, or whatever, they will just do it when you aint looking. You can't stop it. You can educate them and they can choose to do whatever with that advice. Hopefully those that say its the parent's fault won't find out their teen is pregnant and have to eat their words.
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
Great stories. You folks are definately inspirational to me.
Great reasons why we health care providers need to remember, it's not just what we say, but what we do that touches people for a lifetime. Our treatment of these moms stays imprinted on them a VERY long time---perhaps forever. I am so happy to read of you who had negative experiences and turned them around to positives in your lives, particularly those who were motivated to become nurses or midwives yourselves. BRAVO! My hat is off to each of you.
. also, i think it's pretty dumb to blame the parents for their teens becoming parents as obviously they are different people and responsible for their own actions and the parents arent going to be watching their every move 24/7 and cant avoid anything. if someone really wants to do drugs for example (which i've never done), then they will do it. if you tell them you will kick them outta your house, beat them, or whatever, they will just do it when you aint looking. you can't stop it. you can educate them and they can choose to do whatever with that advice. hopefully those that say its the parent's fault won't find out their teen is pregnant and have to eat their words.
as a mother of 5 (ages 15-23) i'm well aware of how teenagers are. besides, it really hasn't been so long ago that i was a teen that i've forgotten. however, you can bet that until my kids were 16 and driving, i knew where they were at all times. my former job (teaching) meant that i had their schedule and was home when they were. if they went to a movie with friends, i (or another parent i knew well) dropped them off and were there long before the movie was over to pick them up. they did not go to homes were there were no parents to supervise and did not stay the night unless i knew the parent and child well and i knew they would be safe. they were not left to their own devices. even at 16 through hs graduation there have been restrictions and the first thing they lose if they disobey is their license and ability to go anywhere (my 19 year old hs senior spends more time grounded than not half the time it seems).
am i overprotective? i'm sure i am. did my kids still manage to have sex as teens? i know 2 did (after 16), one has chosen not to until marriage (and is 23) and the 15 year old has not. i hope my kids have learned my our difficulties. have i threatened them with kicking them out or beating them? most certainly not.
one of the biggest reasons for adolescent crime is lack of direction from home. i didn't blame it all on the parents...lack of supervision is a contributing factor many times though. just those that just don't seem to be interested in their kids lives....let them run like hooligans unsupervised.
Specializes in RN: L&D, LPN: Med/Surg, CNA: MedSurg/LTC.
one of the biggest reasons for adolescent crime is lack of direction from home. i didn't blame it all on the parents...lack of supervision is a contributing factor many times though. just those that just don't seem to be interested in their kids lives....let them run like hooligans unsupervised.
umm...my mom is very interested in my life. she taught me about stds, all that. you dropping your kids off somewhere doesn't guarantee they'll stay there. they could have someone else pick them up right when you leave. and if you restrict them to the house, they could sneak out.
as a mother of 5 (ages 15-23) i'm well aware of how teenagers are. besides, it really hasn't been so long ago that i was a teen that i've forgotten. however, you can bet that until my kids were 16 and driving, i knew where they were at all times. my former job (teaching) meant that i had their schedule and was home when they were. if they went to a movie with friends, i (or another parent i knew well) dropped them off and were there long before the movie was over to pick them up. they did not go to homes were there were no parents to supervise and did not stay the night unless i knew the parent and child well and i knew they would be safe. they were not left to their own devices. even at 16 through hs graduation there have been restrictions and the first thing they lose if they disobey is their license and ability to go anywhere (my 19 year old hs senior spends more time grounded than not half the time it seems).
am i overprotective? i'm sure i am. did my kids still manage to have sex as teens? i know 2 did (after 16), one has chosen not to until marriage (and is 23) and the 15 year old has not. i hope my kids have learned my our difficulties. have i threatened them with kicking them out or beating them? most certainly not.
one of the biggest reasons for adolescent crime is lack of direction from home. i didn't blame it all on the parents...lack of supervision is a contributing factor many times though. just those that just don't seem to be interested in their kids lives....let them run like hooligans unsupervised.
i've enjoyed reading your posts. and i agree, that there are things we as parents can do, especially if you are talking about the 12, 13, 14 year olds getting pregnant.
i think having the support of other parents is essential - unfortunately i've found some parents are not very supportive.
sneaking out of the theatre would be hard here - i live two doors down from the theatre.
even my 16 year old has restrictions - she cannot visit her boyfriend w/o his parents being home and vice versa. fortunately we parents are on the same page here.
i fully realize that kids can still make bad choices but the truth is some parents do not monitor their children's whereabouts very well.
i also want to say that i've enjoyed, as deb mentioned, reading about how well all the teen moms who have responded here have done. bravo!
umm...my mom is very interested in my life. she taught me about stds, all that. you dropping your kids off somewhere doesn't guarantee they'll stay there. they could have someone else pick them up right when you leave. and if you restrict them to the house, they could sneak out.
i understand all of that..... one of the things about living nearly all your life in the same small town is that you know many, many people. trust me, i hear about my kids.....good and bad. again, i was not saying all parents and certainly did not zero in on yours.
I had my daughter when I was 18 going on 19 and haven't really enjoyed all the partying as much as I wanted to (I had to put that on hold). Both my parents had passed away a few years before due to domestic violence, and myself along with my sister and brother had to live with a very strict uncle who was the only closest relative living nearby. So my sister moved out when she turned 18 and a year later I moved out to live with my boyfriend (the father) then later my younger brother to live with my older sister.
Anyway, so I got pregnant and had the support of his family (which wasn't easy at first) and as for my family, I had to hide my pregnancy from them. You see I came from a very strict, traditional, Catholic family... and to make it worse, a filipino family, lol. I also was the black sheep in the family, always did bad in school, didn't have really good grades, always cutting, sneaking out, etc. etc. so they always said I would be the first person in the family to either get married young or get pregnant and ruin my life. So you could see why I was scared to tell my family except for my cousins and my sister and brother (because we have always been close and have gotten even closer since our parents passed). Well, I went through the whole pregnancy without ever seeing or speaking to my family, but after she was born finally had the courage to bring her to one of our family parties (of which we had had family gatherings all the time) and of course everyone fell in love with her, she had the most beautiful big eyes and deep dimples which you could just tell "this girl has some personality"..... 4 years later, she's still the same girl, but very smart as well as beautiful.
When she was born I knew that it wasn't just "all about me" anymore... it was "all about her". And well I wanted to think about our future together as a family and decided to become a nurse, I began taking pre-reqs for a LVN program and when I finished them I decided (before applying to the program) that I wanted to go to a CC to get my ADN instead, while I was taking my G.E. continuously (including every summer) I also got my M.A. certificate and worked while going to school full-time.
Then just 4 and 1/2 months ago I became pregnant again and was 7 months pregrant at the beginning of my Fall semester of A&P... (Oh yeah, all my family knew about my pregnancy this time because I told every one of them, I wasn't scared anymore, but excited that my daughter would finally have a play mate, and they were very supportive) Well I gave birth to a healthy baby boy October 29th '05 (who had the same beautiful eyes and deep dimples as his sisters) So, I gave birth on a Saturday (arrived at the hospital on Friday and was released Sunday, all ready for my boyfriend to take my daughter trick-or-treating the next day). Thankfully I had just finished my 2nd lec exam for A&P and practical. And can you believe I only missed a week of school since coming home from the hospital (2 lectures and 1 lab). People thought I was crazy, but I pulled through it and I always say now to people, my reward was my son.
Now 23 and finishing up my pre-reqs for the ADN I will be applying to the RN program this fall, as well as taking the LVN program (a 12 month program) at the end of July of this year (in case I am not accepted to the ADN program right away). Now my family see's how determined I am as well as a very hard worker and great mother. I just can't wait to finally achieve my goal on becoming a RN and finally EXHALE through all the hard times on getting to where I wanted to be.... before making me an even stronger and an even more hard working person as a nurse.
I don't regret anything at all, I take life as a learning experience. Having the love and support of God by myside as well as my family, my two angels, and my boyfriend (who we've been together for 9 years this March and will be planning to get married after I graduate) has made my life so easier. :)
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porcelina22
62 Posts
HI! I was a teen mom. I had my first at 16, second at 18, and third (surprise!) at 22. I wish I could answer your first quesion simply, but I can't. I loved being a mom from the get-go. Having my daughter gave me an even greater drive and ambition to be sucessful and to prove all the stereotypes wrong.
Kind of. Before I got pregnant I had been going to a very small, private, christian school. I ran away from home following my freshman year, and was not allowed to return to the school, even when I offered to pay my own tuition from out of my babysitting money. (I had a steady babysitting job/live in nanny appox 80 hours/week.) So, for a year while I was pregnant, I was out of school...which led me to be VERY socially isolated from my peers. I still attended church youth groups, though not my original one...instead I attended a VERY large church that had it's own daycare that was open during youth group. That was really the only socialization I got until after my daughter was born, when I enrolled myself in a local school that was created for pregnant/parenting teens. (I didn't mention this previously, but no one knew I was pregnant...so the pregnancy wasn't the reason for not being allowed back at the school...it was just that I had rebelled and was thought to be a "bad influence")
YES. I cannot stress this enough. I was never educated about any disease processes, vaccinations, routine medical terms and lab work values...I guess they assumed that since I was so young, I was unable to learn. When my daughter was young she had multiple ear infections, upper respiratory infections AND failure to thrive. No one EVER mentioned ways that I could prevent these things, or reasons that she might be so prone to them. Again, I can only assume that they thought that I wouldn't be receptive to teaching or suggestions. One doctor told me that my daughter had cystic fibrosis and that she wouldn't live to see 5 years old. He never told me what CF was, how they test for it, or why he thought she had it. Instead, it wasn't until the RN came in and saw me sobbing uncontrollably that we got a chest x-ray ordered and it was confirmed that she DID NOT HAVE CF. And then there was just the undermining of me as a parent...as in, if I questioned soething I was immediately dismissed with "Well, if you had more education...maybe you would know that the doctor is always right...blah blah blah..." Ugh, I could go on FOREVER.
Well, it did delay a few things. I graduated high school a semester behing my peers because I was out of school for a year. I had a small "wild streak" after my mom died, during which I put myself and my daughter in some risky situations. I got married young, and never really had an "adolescence". I occasionally miss it, but never to the point of being resentful. I started college right after I graduated, but I needed income so I started working more and going to school less, so that was delayed for a year or so. We are still pretty broke, financially, but that should get better after graduation :balloons: I have always been very driven and proactive, now I just have 3 more, very important reasons to be tenacious.
I am hoping to work with the teen parent population after graduation. I think education is SO IMPORTANT for them! I know that not all of them will be as receptive as I would have been, and that's alright. I have to at least see that they are being given the opportunities that they deserve. They are a difficult breed of people- they can be rebellious, loud, ignorant, and downright irresponsible...but a lot of times they are scared and have no idea how else to handle their situation.
Your welcome, sorry 'bout the book.
Chrissy