Adolescent Pregnancy = Developmental Delay or Acceleration???

mandana · Feb 9, 2006

You bring up some really interesting points. I don't have any answers for you, and only one friend that fits the bill. She actually really flourished with teenage motherhood - completed high school, took an entry level job and worked her way up through the company for 15 years to a really good position within the company. She did have strong family support and an unwavering desire to succeed at motherhood.

I think its like anything else - you'll find some that really rise to the challenge and others that just can't.

I just started my OB rotation too.

Amanda

maledi · Feb 9, 2006

I think that outcomes for teenage mothers really vary. I was one and I was one of the people who took it and ran with it. I became successful. My sense of responsibility was heightened, so I worked very hard on the job and at school (college). I am no longer a single mother or young but wonder how my motivation might have went in a different direction, had I not been a mother who needed to step up to the plate. I was stigmatized of course and that continues through out life. It basically never goes away. However, in the hospital I had great care, which helped to make my birthing experience so positive. I have also seen teenage mothers who were completely the opposite. Good luck!

Rohan · Feb 9, 2006

http://www.mountainhomemt.org/index.html

We have a home for teenage mothers here. I know the director Gypsy. I bet she could give you some very interesting information on this type of thing.

Kelly_the_Great · Feb 9, 2006

http://www.mountainhomemt.org/index.html
We have a home for teenage mothers here. I know the director Gypsy. I bet she could give you some very interesting information on this type of thing.

Hey thanks, Rohan. I've added it to my fav's. :)

Kelly_the_Great · Feb 9, 2006

I think that outcomes for teenage mothers really vary. I was one and I was one of the people who took it and ran with it. I became successful. My sense of responsibility was heightened, so I worked very hard on the job and at school (college). I am no longer a single mother or young but wonder how my motivation might have went in a different direction, had I not been a mother who needed to step up to the plate.

Maledi,

What a story of perserverence & success! Thank you for sharing with me.

I was stigmatized of course and that continues through out life. It basically never goes away.

It's interesting that you say this, about it never going away. I have a very good friend who had her 1st child @ 16. When we 1st were getting to know eachother, I asked her about her children and she gave me the age of her oldest child, she says, "yeah, that's right add it up." You know how you can tell someone's trying to calculate in their head, right? I felt really bad. I was talking with her about this issue and mentioned if she remembered it and told her how bad I had felt. She said she gets it all the time - even now and her daughter is 15 y/o!

RaeT,RN · Feb 10, 2006

My mom had me when she was 17. She and my dad married briefly, and then divorced after my brother was born 3 years later. She has done the single mom thing my whole life (I'm 25 now.)

My mom worked her tail off to provide the best she could for the two of us. She finished high school, and though it took her longer than most people, she eventually finished college as well. She really put off aggressive pursuit of a carreer in the interest of developing strong relationships with me and my brother (she had other young friends with children who had chosen to pursue their carreers first, she thought, at the expense of relationships with their children.) Now that my brother and I are "all grown up" she is getting out of the finance world she has worked in for a while and I've actually inspired her to apply for nursing school. Go figure.

She says she felt she missed out on many things in her late teens and early twenties, but also says she wouldn't change a thing. She had a lot of support from both her parents and my dad's parents over the years, but she says she was glad that she had had to take on all the responsibility early because it has made her who she is.

As for her social life, I don't really think she was ostracized from her peers. I do remember the majority of her friends being several years older than she was - not sure if she just felt like she related better to them as far as life experiences go or if she was just impatient with other people her own age.

She still repeatedly gets, "You're not old enough to have a 25 year old!" And my inlaws and their families for some reason like to make comments that she is "just a baby yet" at 42. (On the flip side, my husband's parents waited much later to have kids - they were in their 30's when he was born.) Maybe they are jealous of her youth? Who knows. It does make her feel uncomfortable though, when they say things like that.

Another 2 cents . . .

In a previous post about teen pregnancy, I read a reply from a teen mom who had said that her labor nurse was the first kind person she had interacted with while she was pregnant and she said she had actually been inspired by her to go into nursing and make a better life for herself! I really took that to heart, and I hope that sometimes I can and will inspire my teen pt's (or any pt for that matter) in the same way. So many people are quick to judge these girls, and I don't think that being judgemental or trying to "teach them a lesson" is helping them at all. What's done is done, and you can only try to help them to recognize and make use of all of their options.

carolinapooh, BSN, RN · Feb 10, 2006

Just my two cents here - I used to say (and still say!) “there but for the grace of God (not to mention a bit of luck!) go (or ‘could have gone’) I”.

My dad used to say that everyone is entitled to a mistake (I mean, I can’t imagine that any eleventh grader INTENDS to get pregnant). I’m not saying that the BABY is the mistake – good God, don’t misread me here – but the getting pregnant was the mistake – maybe “accident” is a better word – which was precisely what he meant. The last thing these kids need is one more disapproving person telling them they’ve ruined their lives. (Why do people always say that to them? Don't they think they've already CONSIDERED that point? I mean, they're not stupid.) Well, it takes two (that’s the first thing that ticks me off – why does everyone blame the girl? STILL??) – and if it were my daughter, I’d be heartbroken, of course – but then I’d march her straight to the doctor to make sure she and my grandchild were taken care of properly from the start.

That said, I don’t know what I’d encourage her to do; I don’t know if I could even say anything about her decision – other than to make sure she was SURE of what she wanted to do. Knowing me, I’d probably back her up the best I could with whatever she decided.

If I ever end up with a first time teenage mom in my care, I will work very hard to make sure she knows not everyone judges her. Really, it could have happened to any of us who were less than chaste in our high school days. I have a hard time judging anyone – but especially judging someone who pulls the same stunts I did, but got “caught” at it, while I was lucky in that respect.

To those of you who are kids of teen moms, or who were teen moms yourself - hats off to you for what you and/or your mom have accomplished!

capribry · Feb 12, 2006

Sorry for this being so long but this topic sometime boils my blood when people think that you can't raise a child or have common sense when you are a teenage mother.:angryfire

I am personally a teenage mother. I got pregnant my senior year(17y) and had him when I was 18. I graduated with honors and continued on to one of the best universities in my area a couple of week after he was born (july 12, 2004) In matter of fact, taking a tour of the campus and registering for classes caused me to go into labor(I guess all that walking) I also must say that I had more common sense and take care of my son more than some adults who are married that plan to have a child.

My pregnancy had downs since I had to quit cheerleading and couldn't travel for college and I didn't go to prom (I got over it pretty quickly) I still had alot of friends and family support. I used my spare time to educate myself about my changing body and took child birthing classes. In matter of fact my L&D nurse said that my labor went so easy because I knew so much and she didn't have to waste her time explaining ever little detail to me.

I must say that my first year of college, that i didn't do as well in anatomy and physiology I (got a C) but I did well in other classes such as statistics and english. It was hard for me to get up for my 8am b/c of late night feedings but got use to it.

About my lovely 19 month son, he highly advanced for his age (claims his pediatrician). He is potty training, have a wide range vocabulary besides ma and dad, and learns how to do things with a blink of the eye. (Just the other day he climbed in the computer chair and started to pretend that he was typing-that cracked me up) He knows several body parts and likes to clean up.

I believe that it depends on how you were raised. If you were raised by parents and have a support system that teaches you to try to do the best that you can, then you will do great!

Gompers, BSN, RN · Feb 12, 2006

We see lots of teenaged moms in the NICU. There is such a wide range of reactions to motherhood among them, really. Some of them go home with 18-year-olds and we fear for these babies' health, because the moms can't even seem to take care of themselves. Others go home with much younger moms and they seem even more mature than mothers twice their age!

We had one baby last year, very small preemie who did pretty well, and her mom was only 15. This girl was amazing. She went right back to school after she recovered from the delivery. She visited almost every evening and weekend. She did her baby's laundry and was very self-suffient when she was caring for the baby in the weeks leading up to her discharge. She'd be chatting with us, telling us about a test she had the other day and she was upset because she "only" got a B on it. We asked what her plans were when the baby went home. "Oh, I'm going to be 'homebound' for six weeks and will have a tutor coming in to help me so I don't fall behind. Then, my school has a daycare and they've already agreed to accept her, even if she hasn't been weaned off oxygen by that time. So I'll bring her to school with me and get to spend my lunch period with her as well. This way I can still graduate on time. My mom and dad said that if I go to college near home and live with them, they can watch her during the day so I can get my degree..."

When we did the discharge teaching, she pulled out an Excel spreadsheet. She'd already scheduled all the baby's meds, feedings, breathing treatments, etc. on this spreadsheet with an easy check-off system so anyone helping to care for the baby wouldn't get confused as to what the baby needed...:)

We agreed that having that baby at 15 was probably a good thing for that mom, because it gave her a sense of responsibility that would stick with her forever.

SmilingBluEyes · Feb 12, 2006

there is no way to paint people with a broad brush and be accurate. Teen moms vary from the very immature and incapable to amazingly mature and strong parents. I have seen the whole gamut since becoming an OB nurse nearly 9 years ago. I am also the product of a teen pregnancy/marriage. My parents grew up fast---way too fast.

LydiaNN · Feb 12, 2006

Just my two cents here - I used to say (and still say!) "there but for the grace of God (not to mention a bit of luck!) go (or 'could have gone') I".
My dad used to say that everyone is entitled to a mistake (I mean, I can't imagine that any eleventh grader INTENDS to get pregnant). I'm not saying that the BABY is the mistake - good God, don't misread me here - but the getting pregnant was the mistake - maybe "accident" is a better word - which was precisely what he meant. The last thing these kids need is one more disapproving person telling them they've ruined their lives. (Why do people always say that to them? Don't they think they've already CONSIDERED that point? I mean, they're not stupid.) Well, it takes two (that's the first thing that ticks me off - why does everyone blame the girl? STILL??) - and if it were my daughter, I'd be heartbroken, of course - but then I'd march her straight to the doctor to make sure she and my grandchild were taken care of properly from the start.
That said, I don't know what I'd encourage her to do; I don't know if I could even say anything about her decision - other than to make sure she was SURE of what she wanted to do. Knowing me, I'd probably back her up the best I could with whatever she decided.
If I ever end up with a first time teenage mom in my care, I will work very hard to make sure she knows not everyone judges her. Really, it could have happened to any of us who were less than chaste in our high school days. I have a hard time judging anyone - but especially judging someone who pulls the same stunts I did, but got "caught" at it, while I was lucky in that respect.
To those of you who are kids of teen moms, or who were teen moms yourself - hats off to you for what you and/or your mom have accomplished!

I hate to say it, but I have met teenagers who got pregnant intentionally. Sometimes it was because they felt trapped by their home situations and thought moving out and having a baby would make things less stressful, instead of more so. Sometimes it was because they were afraid of losing their boyfriend and thought that a pregnancy would make them stick around. Sometimes, even though they swear up and down the pregnancy was intentional and they're over the moon, they can't articulate why they think taking this very, very adult step before they've finished being a teenager was a good idea. I have seen lots of them grow up and show a maturity far beyond their years, though. I've seen others fall apart at the challenges of juggling the demands of new motherhood with those of entering young adulthood.