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Nurses Humor

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Here is a fun game we used to play way back when our hospital first went to computers.

I will start a story below, then read from the beginning and add a sentence or two to the end. The next person adds a couple more lines and so on. This can make for some very interesting and sometimes downright hilarious stories.

Here goes:

One lonely Saturday night I am sitting at home with "a couple beers" under my belt and decide I want to go out. Not having any money I figure the Emergency Room would be an entertaining place to be. I check in with the complaint of......

Specializes in PeriOp, ICU, PICU, NICU.

to take a course and get up to date because..........

he forgot how to do EVERYTHING.....

Specializes in PeriOp, ICU, PICU, NICU.

since he did suffer from a mild form of amnesia.....

caused by an upset patient that hit him over the head with his walker

caused by an upset patient that hit him over the head with his walker

who looked a lot like mark green aka anthony andrews { what is he doing these days }

Now he has a huge bump on his head the size of

A Pschy exam to see if I had any underlying problems and guess what they found...........

NOTHING!!!!!! He I am perfectly fine except...............

Hey I thought I would give an update of the whole story. I had time on my hands! Enjoy. It also shows at how much time we all have on our hands to be doing this. :chuckle Good story tho'

One lonely Saturday night I am sitting at home with "a couple beers" under my belt and decide I want to go out. Not having any money I figure the Emergency Room would be an entertaining place to be. I check in with the complaint of...... alcohol induced flatulence, the doctors and nurses seem quite unimpressed with me and ordered....cofee enemas until clear. Then they ordered... a neurologist, who soon had me following his finger while hopping on one foot all around the cubicle while saying, "I know you've got your left eye closed the way I asked you to." However, I didn't notice--possibly because I had my eye closed--that the neurologist had no stethoscope and no name badge. At the same time I realized that this was no doctor, I tripped..... ...and fell flat on my rear, requiring a trip to X-ray where they also found... the said missing beer bottle stuck up my bum. They immediately scheduled me.... for an emergency rectal removal so that I can................ ...go skydiving with my buddies after we put down a couple of six-packs of beer. After that, I'll... be back to see you. Unfortunately, since I was drunk when I landed, I only broke my.. french fry. But the doctors and nurses then decided that they needed to do... a complete psych evaluation where they found that I..... ...am as normal as ANYONE who works in the ER! But then they told me... I would require surgery to remove the broken french fry AND said beer bottle. That's when I..... said, "While you're in there, could you please fix...." my hair.....I havent had a chance to do it today and ...while you're at it.....scratch my back too , because...... its itching from these hard hospitals bed sheets. Also try to lift my boobs cuz the beer bottles I set on them...... were too heavy, made then droop and are now in bad shape.....you can also do a pelvic exam, since I'm here, but, PLEASE be sure to.......... not loose yourself in there.....be quick and and do a nip and tuck i wanna look 25 by the morning as i have a hot... gardner waiting for me at my house and we are planning to..... PRUNE the rose bushes and then take a lovely swim in the river at the bottom of the garden, and relax later by The bushes while we............. dry off to go to............ Admire the lovely job we had done with the petals which were...... just starting to come out. we then went to the corner store which sells....... Strawberries and cream... and we got really creative with them. We did not know how to control ourselves. the next day...... i had to go back to work at the hospital. My first patient was ............ a woman who looked just like me, only fatter... she must have been eating french fries and and she was sitting in bed watching Desperate Housewives, and complaining of a bad belly ache! she cried "WHY DID I.............. have to eat it with hotsauce....I should have........ ...had a V8! Now I'm gonna have to... take some antacid and pray I don't........ premature birth to my four headed alien baby which... was delivered by C-section, and immediately rushed to surgery to have three of my alien baby's heads removed because.... They kept drinkin my beer and I couldn't........... stand it anymore so I began to drink it myself, and puked til someone handed me an emesis basin and...................... the rare good looking doctor walked in....lol its Doug Ross catching up on ER duties Because he was so behing because............ technology has caught up to him....now he needs to take a course and get up to date because.......... he forgot how to do EVERYTHING..... since he did suffer from a mild form of amnesia..... caused by an upset patient that hit him over the head with his walker who looked a lot like Mark Green aka Anthony Andrews { what is he doing these days }Now he has a huge bump on his head the size of A Pschy exam to see if I had any underlying problems and guess what they found... NOTHING!!!!!! He I am perfectly fine except...............

THEN................................

Specializes in RN, BSN, CHDN.

he now needs to have a personality transplant

Specializes in Pediatrics.

unfortunately the next available personality is that of someone whose dearest life ambition was to destroy...

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