Acused of no compassion

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Hi, I am a rn in a clinic, been there 2 years, was called in for a mtg last week and given 2 months probation and told that I am not showing as much compasion and caring as I did when I was first hired. I don't see it, but they do, so I have to adjust to their reality. How do I improve my compassion and caring when I feel that I don't have a problem? How do I prove that my compassion and caring have increased after two months? I really want to work there and work with this doctor but I don't know how to prove something that can't really be measured, you know? Any ideas?

Thanks.

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There is more going on here than you are aware of. When ever someone make a generalized accusation you need to be very professional. You need to ask for clarification. You are not as compassionate as when you first started doesn't tell anyone anything really.

Ask specifically what do you mean, ask for examples. Point out at the beginning that you want to correct this but for you to do it you must know exactly what they refer to. You can not fix something as vague as this without knowing what it is.

Did someone complain? If so specifically what was their complaint? Did someone see me behave badly and observe at pt. suffer for it? I can not fix "not as compassionate as before."

If you do not clarify this I am not a mind reader I can't fix it.

If you have received a written reprimand it would be best for you to respond in writing as well.

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Specializes in Home Care, Hospice, OB.
there is more going on here than you are aware of.

if you have received a written reprimand it would be best for you to respond in writing as well.

:yeahthat::yeahthat:

maybe i'm gun shy after a personal experience, but this is the sort of vague crud i had coming at me this time last year..the prelude to what was, in essence, "we don't like you, please quit so we don't have to bother with the paperwork of firing you!"

this may not be true in your case, but mine went from i was "rude" to "territorial" to "not a team player"..never an actual behavoir or incident, just the way my supervisor (who had never been in charge of anything before) "felt".

i left to keep my sanity. this has never happened before or since, but i must add i was the original clinic nurse when the jobs were outsourced--they had to "take" me, but didn't want to "keep" me...

hope i haven't spooked you--just an angle to consider.

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The handwriting is on the wall with this one. Be prepared to be looking for another job before the 2 months are up. This is the type of complaint against you that is too broad to fix unless they give you specific examples and allow you to address them. I wish you luck and feel bad that you are being pushed out of a job you really like.

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In order for you to improve, they have to provide constructive criticism with specific examples. I tend to agree that such vague statements are nothing but picking on you. I was told once by manager that I am not liked by the "group" (read - the clique), they can't really say what it is they don't particularly like, just "something is wrong". Needless to say, I was out of there after only few months - came to manager on my day off and said I can't continue on in the atmosphere of hostility and being ignored by everybody, and that was it.

Nursing really was an eye opener for me as to how mean and petty people can be. Good luck.

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Nursing really was an eye opener for me as to how mean and petty people can be. Good luck.

People in all walks of life can be mean an petty. Sorry you equate it with nurse. ((hug))

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Specializes in FNP, Peds, Epilepsy, Mgt., Occ. Ed.

I agree with all the above. You need some specific things you can change or improve upon. If they can't give you those, then there is no way you can do anything to satisfy them.

Even for something as nebulous as "compassion" there should be some specifics. The patient was crying and upset, you just walked out of the room and ignored her. You passed the LOL in the hallway struggling with her walker, purse, and bag of meds, and didn't offer to help. You shut the door in someone's face. You wouldn't make the patient an appointment, even though the patient was out of meds and there were slots open. We've had 10 patients this month complain that you were rude. Etc. etc. Understand, I'm not saying you've done any of these things; I'm saying that, if your management isn't making things up in preparation for getting rid of you, then they should be able to cite some specific examples. "Well, you're just not as compassionate" isn't fixable.

I once got "your office is messy" on an evaluation. My office was private, not a patient area, and was not hazardous to anyone's health. So I asked questions: do I have too much personal stuff in there? Well, no. Is it because I have a mini fridge in there? Well, no. Finally, I told the person doing my eval that I needed him to come to my office and show me exactly what he meant, because I wasn't understanding what he was talking about. It never happened.

If they can't give you some specific examples of lack of compassion, then polish up your resume and start looking, because they're greasing the skids under you.

One more thing: this really isn't about you. If they had real reasons for wanting to get rid of you, they'd use them. There's something else you aren't aware of going on, and there's probably nothing you can do about it.

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I would definitely ask for specifics. It's impossible to improve if you don't know what you need to improve on. Sounds like that someone probably complained about you.

I would also be looking for another job. They just might be trying to inch you out the door, and have to find a petty reason to so they won't face a lawsuit.

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Specializes in neuro, ICU/CCU, tropical medicine.

I cringe when I hear stuff like that - vague complaints, nothing measurable.

Been there, done that, got burned - badly!

My advice to you is if you don't want to start looking for a job now, start carrying an umbrella to work - because it sounds to me like the $hi+ is going to start coming down hard!

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Specializes in ER, Acute care.

I agree with everyone, be careful and do not share your info with co-workers it may be one of them throwing you under the bus.........good luck and keep your head up.:nurse:

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Specializes in LTC, office.

I agree with everyone so far. I would definitely ask for specific examples.

Sorry you are going through this, it stinks. I have been there. :crying2:

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Specializes in Telemetry, Med Surg, Pediatrics, ER.

I am so sorry you are going through this. I don't have any advice that has not already been given. I agree that you should ask for specifics. I would also dust off my resume and start looking for somewhere your skills and compassion are appreciated. Best wishes!

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