Acused of no compassion

medsurgrnco, BSN, RN · Apr 5, 2008

In the meantime, work on appearing more compassionate and caring to the customers since that is what they told you was the problem. Be friendlier and more concerned about their problems.

medsurgrnco, BSN, RN · Apr 5, 2008

You've been there for 2 YEARS and all of a sudden they put you on 2 month's probation without giving you specifics of what needs to change? No gentle discussion first?? Has anything changed in the office recently - like a new hire that doesn't like you?

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · Apr 5, 2008

I am so sorry you are going through this. I don't have any advice that has not already been given. I agree that you should ask for specifics. I would also dust off my resume and start looking for somewhere your skills and compassion are appreciated. Best wishes!

Ditto the above.

This has happened to me too, and the truth is, it's not that you're paranoid---when managers start making vague complaints like this, they really ARE out to get you. :madface: In fact, I'd be looking for suitable employment elsewhere if I were you.

Good luck...........I know it's tough out there.

imanedrn · Apr 5, 2008

There is more going on here than you are aware of. When ever someone make a generalized accusation you need to be very professional. You need to ask for clarification. You are not as compassionate as when you first started doesn't tell anyone anything really.
Ask specifically what do you mean, ask for examples. Point out at the beginning that you want to correct this but for you to do it you must know exactly what they refer to. You can not fix something as vague as this without knowing what it is.
Did someone complain? If so specifically what was their complaint? Did someone see me behave badly and observe at pt. suffer for it? I can not fix "not as compassionate as before."
If you do not clarify this I am not a mind reader I can't fix it.
If you have received a written reprimand it would be best for you to respond in writing as well.

I was going to the say the same thing. Instead of being redundant, I'll just reinforce this point. If you're being accused of something (anything!), ask for specifics. You can't change something if they're only giving you a broad idea of what the problem is.

Good luck!

imanedrn · Apr 5, 2008

I cringe when I hear stuff like that - vague complaints, nothing measurable.

Good use of wording! It's sort of ironic that the complaints would be so vague and not measurable, considering these terms are completely unacceptable in nursing assessments!

shellsgogreen · Apr 5, 2008

well, i'm all about feedback - except for the kind that appears out of left field:uhoh21:

are you in a union? i would ask my rep about this, as aren't they supposed to give you a verbal warning first? two months probation seems a bit extreme to me, considering this is something entirely new;

and incidentally, why didn't they ask if you are ok? all things considered, if a nurse who was previously compassionate suddenly exhibits a change in attitude, shouldn't this warrant further inquiry?

seems to me that they are lacking a bit of compassion themselves here:uhoh3:

cardiacRN2006, ADN, RN · Apr 5, 2008

Ditto to all of the above. Update the resume and find yourself a new job.

Time to move on...

santhony44, MSN, RN, NP · Apr 5, 2008

Let me tell you what I'm thinking. This is early April. In, what, six weeks or so, we'll have a brand-new crop of new grads out there.

I would just about bet you that someone's brother's girlfriend's cousin's wife's niece's sister-in-law is about to graduate and needs a job, and guess where that job will be??? She may not even be an RN; the clinic may have, in fact, decided that they can save $$ by hiring a brand-new LPN (most clinics and doctors offices I know don't have RNs).

The two months they gave you to "improve" is just about the time someone needs to graduate and pass the NCLEX.

I could be all wrong here. I do tend to have a nasty suspicious mind.

As I said in the previous post, though, I don't think it's really about you, and I honestly don't think walking on water would be good enough at this point.

nurseofficegail · Apr 5, 2008

In Jan I fell at work and fx my left patella, I was off work for 3 week, at work for 3 weeks part time at work full time 3 weeks, before being caled in for this mtg.

I was asked how I feel at the mtg and I did say that I did still have a lot of pain with the fx.

I saw my ortho and he put me off work for 1 month, with pt 3 x week and acupuncture 2 x week. Met with my family dr who s workinh with me on meds to try to help control my nerves, however, do I want to work on drugs? I have started to compose a letter with all of the questions that I was too shell shocked to ask at the meeting, i.e. what criteria did you use to judge my lack of compassion?, how am I to prove my improvement in compassion within 2 months, is my time off going to counted towards my 2 month probation period?, obviously you have had time toplan this meeting, why wasn't I given time as well, etc.

I feel like I have been taking steps to take care of this problem, but I am concerend that if this is the way these people operate do I want to stay here? :banghead:

SandraCVRN · Apr 5, 2008

In Jan I fell at work and fx my left patella, I was off work for 3 week, at work for 3 weeks part time at work full time 3 weeks, before being caled in for this mtg.
I was asked how I feel at the mtg and I did say that I did still have a lot of pain with the fx.
I saw my ortho and he put me off work for 1 month, with pt 3 x week and acupuncture 2 x week. Met with my family dr who s workinh with me on meds to try to help control my nerves, however, do I want to work on drugs? I have started to compose a letter with all of the questions that I was too shell shocked to ask at the meeting, i.e. what criteria did you use to judge my lack of compassion?, how am I to prove my improvement in compassion within 2 months, is my time off going to counted towards my 2 month probation period?, obviously you have had time toplan this meeting, why wasn't I given time as well, etc.
I feel like I have been taking steps to take care of this problem, but I am concerend that if this is the way these people operate do I want to stay here?

I guess you filled under some type of workers comp? Lot's of folks don't like that. Not right but unfortunatly the way some employers work.

Do not sign off on your injury until you are 100%

Good luck

lilywater · May 14, 2008

This is one of the most classic tactics of a bullying, dishonest manager that lacks integrity. First of all, compassion and caring is something that only your patient can evaluate since they are the one whom you owe this to. How can the manager possibly make this claim on you without consistently observing you at the bedside. Hearsay from another staff member just is not sufficient or reputable to make someone validly take disciplinary action on you. This manager is for whatever reason trying to find grounds to terminate you so she is starting the so-called documentation process. If I were you I would hit the road before they accuse you of somthing worse. These people have made up their mind that they want to remove you from the staff, it has nothing to do with you or your skills as a nurse. You deserve better and should probably start searching for another facility to work at where hopefully the management is professional. Best of luck to you.

pagandeva2000, LPN · May 14, 2008

Sometimes, what is perceived as a lack of compassion is actually the nurse is focusing on her work. Just because you may not be smiling, or looking like you are having the time of your life does not mean that you are not compassionate; it could mean that you are concentrating, using critical thinking to create a positive outcome.

Like everyone else is saying-this is not measureable. How was your relationship with these people previously? Are they changing staff? I would keep my eyes and ears for another position.