Accused of being too busy and not "social" enough?? (long)

allnurses Guide · Jul 28, 2007

You might want to try to use the person's comment to broach the topic of how you were unable to spare time to socialize when you had 2 critically ill patients. You can add that you weren't trying to be unfriendly, just that your patients needed blood, needed hemo, needed a million and 1 things. You can say that you are reluctant to ask for help but that it strikes you as somehow not right for some nurses to have time to chat, go on the internet, etc. while knowing that you were drowning and never ask if you needed any help, then to criticize you for being unfriendly to boot. See what type of response you get.
Or just realize that they are either oblivious or jerks and go on with your life. You should not feel obliged to help them the next time they are drowning, either. I know that attitude isn't really right but it's hard to always be charitable and forgiving.

Patient care comes first. Regardless of whether your co-workers helped you out.

I think an honest discussion would be a good place to start. People perceive things differently - I've been told I'm not social enough too. I'm just busy, that's all.

steph

leslie :-D · Jul 28, 2007

i always help others out, whether they've helped me or not.

it's not about remembering who was there for you, but remembering that it's a sick pt the nurse is tending to: and could probably use some extra hands.

leslie

allnurses Guide · Jul 28, 2007

i always help others out, whether they've helped me or not.
it's not about remembering who was there for you, but remembering that it's a sick pt the nurse is tending to: and could probably use some extra hands.
leslie

What I was trying to say . . .only you said it better.

steph

Nurse Smiley · Jul 28, 2007

I am a new nurse of 5 months and I was trained in nursing school that we are to help other nurses and we can expect help from them. In fact, helping others was part of our nursing school review during each rotation.

I did a pre-employment telephone interview of 50 questions three weeks ago with a university hospital here and two of the questions were "What do you do when you are swamped with work on the floor? When you cannot figure out the answer to a question when you are on the floor, what do you?" Of course, the answer is obvious!

After I stated that I ask my fellow co-workers for help the interviewer repeated twice to me "So you would ask your co-workers for help." Twice I answered "Yes". Then she said "OK, good". Then she moved on the next question.

I would document that night and keep it for later. It may come up handy in your nursing review.

Congratulations on saving real lives! :bow: Your dedication and diligence will pay off for you in ways that you probably cannot even imagine right now.

Nurse Smiley

okihusker · Jul 28, 2007

I work in a fairly busy ICU, in which it is not uncommon for us to get 3-6 sick admissions/transfers on the night shift alone.
So tonight I was confronted by a fellow co-worker (who was charge on the night I am about to describe), who basically said that on a regular basis I am too busy, running around too much, not socializing with the rest of the staff enough...however she was especially referring to this one particular night in which I had a critical GI bleeder with a low BP, who was getting transfused as quickly as he was pooping the blood out.
2 hours after my shift started, I got an unstable transfer from an outside hospital: a guy who was s/p PEA arrest, on vasopressors, unresponsive, with renal issues (K+ 6.0, Cr > 5), questionably about to start CVVHD (dialysis), and who recently developed a head bleed at this outside facility. He was being transferred to us for neuro-surg evaluation.
To make things worse, on this night: we had no unit secretary, no CNA, lots of inexperienced staff, lots of inexperienced docs (July), and I had gotten no report on this new patient until literally 2 min before he rolled in the door.
Needless to say, between this guy and my GIB patient, I was running around like a chicken with it's head cut off !! LOL The rest of the staff enjoyed a relatively calm night of playing on the internet, flirting with each other, and talking on the phone. No one would step in to help me unless I specifically called out, and then they would only do the bare minimum, and give me disgusted looks for interrupting happy time. Finally, I reconciled that I'll just eat it alone and do the best I could.
Anyway, to wrap it this up, tonight (a week later) my coworker told me that on this night I was rude, abrupt with people, wasn't using my resources enough, and generally wasn't much fun to be around. Well DUH...I had the heaviest assignment on the whole unit! And excuse me if shooting the breeze, walking slowly, and putting on a smiling face are a distant second to keeping my two sick patients alive. And all this coming from someone who has less experience in the ICU than I do.
And then here comes day shift... "What, you didn't bathe your patients?" Whew!! Ok I'm done.

Was your patient digging a ditch? They get so fifthly in bed! How dare you. Bathing, airway, breathing , circulation.

EmmaG, RN · Jul 29, 2007

Don't you just LOVE teamwork??? :uhoh3:

I certainly hope that if (God forbid) I'm ever that ill, I have a nurse as dedicated as you to care for me. Hell, you can be as rude and cranky as you want--- at least I'll be alive :monkeydance:

As the only RN working at night, I was not only in charge, but responsible for doing all assessments on all admissions (in addition to having my own group of patients). One night I'd done 12 assessments... my group of 6 plus 6 full admissions for the LPNs. When the 7th admit rolled in 15 minutes before shift change, I got the VS, made sure they were in no immediate need, and told the day-shift RN coming on for that group that she needed to do the admission. She raised all kinds of hell... and I quietly informed her she would do the admission. (my coworkers knew that when I got quiet, the **** was about to hit the fan)

She must have seen something in the look I gave her, because she shut up real fast and hurried off to get report and do the admit.

The next time you find yourself in that position, and others are just sitting around doing nothing, tell them exactly what they can do to help you. If they refuse, report them. There's no such thing as "that's not my patient". :angryfire

Midwest4me · Jul 29, 2007

There is obviously no teamwork there. There is no excuse for the lack of help. I suggest that you drop a note to the DON and mention that you were under the assumption that this was a team-oriented workplace when you hired on.

CRNI-ICU20 · Jul 29, 2007

Being social is not on the skills checklist for ICU level care!! Knowing how to critically think in a crisis IS!

You did....and your patients are alive because you knew what to do when....

People who play on the internet should be reported....they aren't there to sleep, flirt, surf the net, or"be social"....they are there to take care of vulnerable human beings...

I agree with the others, go ahead and speak up specifically for yourself....

The nurse who confronted you was doing a passive/aggressive thing....pointing out to YOU while trying to not look guilty as sin for not helping.....trying to deflect the truth of the matter off of themselves...

Don't wear that one! You don't own or deserve that one!

I once worked in an ICU that was like this, and I am glad I no longer work with those cliquey people.....they are small minded and just skate by....and their patients suffer because of them....

I was once on call for the unit, and the charge nurse actually called me in to do post mortem care on a patient while they ALL sat on their butts and ate pizza and read magazines...I came in for two hours, and then was sent home.....so they could eat pizza....

I wrote them up....but nothing was done, because the manager thought they were perfect....

I thought they were lazy and unproductive....and the truth is, they were the ANTI-SOCIAL ones, because they did nothing to engage me....

I would work somewhere else....life is too short to spend it sad, frustrated, and undermined.....

hugs to you....crni

tcdtx · Jul 29, 2007

My mom told me when I got my first job at age 15 that "They're paying you to work, not to socialize". This is true and I think that sometimes people forget it. It is important to get along with your co-workers, help them out, and use your strengths to contribute to the team. However, beyond being friendly and cordial, you have no obligation to "shoot the breeze" at work IMO. If you happen to become friends with some of your co-workers it is all the better, but the work and the patients come first. I think that you know that deep down, but nobody likes being given a hard time. Hang in there and good luck :)

Couldn't have said it better myself. I work LTAC and it can get tough. We all back each other up as well as back up our CNA's. Anyone not being a "team player" doesn't last long . I worked way too hard for those letters behind my name to not do a good job at work. It's called work because you're supposed to work....wow! I wish I could get paid for socializing...haha.

Maybe find a way to gently bring up the importance of teamwork at the next staff meeting without being so specific. But just bringing it up puts the "bug" in the director/supervisor's ear that maybe something needs to be monitored a little further.

Good Luck to you!!

~T

leslie :-D · Jul 29, 2007

Maybe find a way to gently bring up the importance of teamwork at the next staff meeting without being so specific. But just bringing it up puts the "bug" in the director/supervisor's ear that maybe something needs to be monitored a little further.
~T

i don't know t, maybe i'm too cynical.

if the concept of teamwork has to be brought up at a meeting, then it's obviously not an inherent value of those attending.

if a coworker doesn't recognize (or care) that i am drowning, i would rather deal with the coworker myself, rather than a supervisor bringing it up.

afterall, i am not at work to socialize and be miss popularity.

if my colleagues don't like being asked to assist, that's too damn bad.

it reflects their values (or lack thereof) more than it reflects on me.

i'm a nurse.

who the hell are they???

leslie

meant4me2 · Jul 29, 2007

Youre kidding me right??

Let that roll right off ya!!!!

jbp0529 · Jul 29, 2007

It's been about a day since my post, and I thank you all for your replies and encouragement.

Just wanted to add a few more points that I didn't mention. One, is the funny part is that for the most part, everyone in my unit is very helpful, and we all jump in with the new admits; why it was different on this particular day, I do not know. Perhaps it was just the particular crew that was on...

Second, my assignment really was unfair, given the fact that there were several other nurses with only 1 patient that could have easily picked up half of my pair. My mistake was that I didn't complain loudly enough. I've already spoken to my manager about this.

Third and finally,..all of you are right. I do not feel sorry for being anti-social on this night. Normally I am as happy-go-lucky as the next person, but when it comes down to a choice between chatting and doing my job...my patients will always come first. Anti-social I may have been, but no other nurse, doctor, or family member can ever accuse me of not doing my job; of having rooms that are messy; of not busting my a## providing the best care I can for my patients, in sometimes less-than-perfect situations.