Accusation Against Male Nurse (Me)

[Lapzs]

So here's the story. I am a male RN. Recently, I had a conflict while at work with a female CNA. For the sake of anonymity and simplicity, I will call her Jen. A relative of a patient of ours asked for his IV to be wrapped so that they can give him a shower (bless this family for being so involved in his care). I went off to find Jen in the break room and asked her if she was on break or on lunch. She said she was on lunch, so I replied "Ok it can wait then." I explained to the family that I couldn't wrap the IV at this particular time due to my having medications to pass to my other patients, but that Jen could do it when she came back from lunch. I even held the meds that I had in my hand up in the air for them to see. The family understood and said they can wait. I go off to pass my meds.

After I finished my last or second-to-last med pass, I was walking down the hall towards the nurses' station when I hear Jen's voice, screaming "Lapzs! Why didn't you wrap the IV?! The family's so pissed! God! You're so unprofessional!" I stood there dumbfounded. The only words I could get out were "I had meds to give." Before I could explain any more, she scoughed, turned around, and made way for the supply room. I called out her name, but she ignored me and went inside. I followed her in, and on my way I noticed a patient's family member looking stunned (possible witnessed what she was yelling about). The following conversation ensues (as I recall to the best of my memory):

Me: Jen. We need to talk.

Jen: God Lapzs! You could have wrapped the IV!

Me: First of all, if you have a problem with me, you take me somewhere private and talk. You don't yell at me in the hallway like that.

Jen: I wasn't yelling!

Me: Fine. But I told you. I had meds to pass.

Jen: That doesn't matter. You could have wrapped it before! God you are just so lazy!

She tries to walk around me to leave, but I stand in front of her to prevent her from doing so.

Jen: Don't you EVER do that to me!!!

Me: Fine. But we need to talk. We can't let this issue get out of this room. I already talked to the family. They were ok with it. Plus those meds were important.

Jen: You still could have wrapped it before.

Me: Do you want to pass my meds for me then? That is my job. That was my priority. If I could have wrapped it, I would have. And I already talked to them. This is your job. You're the CNA...

Jen: I'm NOT just a CNA! I'm more than that!

Me: Fine. So like I said, I had meds to give.

Jen: No! You could have wrapped it!

The back-and-forth goes on for a little while like that until she walks around me again and leaves. After that, the only time we talked again during the rest of the shift was when I asked her if she took a patient's blood pressure (she didn't document it) and she asked me about a patient's diet. I even talked to the patient's family afterwards and asked if there was a problem. They insisted there wasn't and asked me why I thought there was. I mentioned that I know Jen came to them a little while ago, and they said "Oh yeah she seemed pretty pissed."

We both talked to our charge RN individually. The next day (Jen wasn't working but I was), the same charge RN tells me that I need to apologize to Jen or do whatever I can to mend things because Jen told our director about this event and that she was going to file an incident report because she felt her safety was at risk. Charge RN tells me that our director told her to tell me to file a MIDAS (our internal reporting service) so that I can defend myself. Charge RN says that she already vouched for me. I filled out my MIDAS report at the end of my shift.

That's that. I am a 24 year old male RN and Jen is a 40-something year old CNA. I have been an RN on our med-surg/telemetry unit for two years. For pretty much all of that time, I was the only male worker, RN or CNA, on the floor on day shift. Jen and I have known each other that entire time. We were good friends and even took pictures together at work. Also, I'm confident most of my other female coworkers would vouch for me as well.

What do you all think? Was I in the wrong here? Was she in the wrong? Is my career and license in jeopardy? I know we both could have definitely handled things better, but I felt that her non-stop yelling, insulting, and unwillingness to slow down and listen and talk prevented us from squashing this issue.

[Sour Lemon]

LOL! ������ That's true, they will have to wait. But was it really worth it for him to go through all of what he went through when he was right by the patient's door & all he had to do was wrap the IV? I bet he took longer looking for the tech than it would've taken to cover the IV.

Was it worth it & was it necessary?

Yes. ...and in my opinion, completely appropriate.

[OrganizedChaos, LVN]

People are making too much of "why didn't you just do it". The OP said he his hands were full of meds, he needed to call RT, etc. Sticking your head into a break room and asking when a CNA would be available (remember he said it was nearby, he didn't have to chase down anyone) is brief. Wrapping an IV meant putting down what he was doing (can't leave meds out), gathering the supplies and coming back, delaying a respiratory treatment, etc.

No, you don't block someone, already acknowledged as wrong. The CNA was totally inappropriate from this description (one side of the story), but I've run into that attitude before. If you make asking you to do something such an ordeal, people will begin to avoid asking you.

So if he was in the middle of passing meds & went to the break room, what did he do with his meds? He had to do something with them. The time he spent going to the break room was time he could've spent giving the meds he had in his possession, going to the supply room & covering the IV.

[GermanCookie, ADN, BSN, RN, EMT-P]

Now that the OP has been beaten up for appropriate delegation, I'm wondering if it might have been professional, considerate or both for the CNA to let her RN know she would be in the break room/on break for a while?

[OrganizedChaos, LVN]

Now that the OP has been beaten up for appropriate delegation, I'm wondering if it might have been professional, considerate or both for the CNA to let her RN know she would be in the break room/on break for a while?

Are you sure? Maybe we should beat that dead horse some more.

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

People are making too much of "why didn't you just do it". The OP said he his hands were full of meds, he needed to call RT, etc. Sticking your head into a break room and asking when a CNA would be available (remember he said it was nearby, he didn't have to chase down anyone) is brief. Wrapping an IV meant putting down what he was doing (can't leave meds out), gathering the supplies and coming back, delaying a respiratory treatment, etc.

No, you don't block someone, already acknowledged as wrong. The CNA was totally inappropriate from this description (one side of the story), but I've run into that attitude before. If you make asking you to do something such an ordeal, people will begin to avoid asking you.

I agree with you.

We don't keep the supplies to wrap IV's in the patient rooms. I'd have to leave what I was doing and go to the supply room to gather the plastic wrap and paper tape.

I think the CNA was wrong to react publicly as she did but the OP shouldn't have blocked her either.

I hope this can all be worked out and the problem fixed for future encounters with patients.

[OrganizedChaos, LVN]

Yes. ...and in my opinion, completely appropriate.

I think drama like that in the workplace should be avoided at all costs. I'm not saying people should be doormats or kissing people's behinds, but the way the OP blocked Jen in the room & how Jen was screaming at the OP was ridiculous. This all could've been avoided.

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

So if he was in the middle of passing meds & went to the break room, what did he do with his meds? He had to do something with them. The time he spent going to the break room was time he could've spent giving the meds he had in his possession, going to the supply room & covering the IV.

I agree. For that, I need to apologize to her. However, only that.

I would have done it if I wasn't in the middle of something that I felt was more important. Pain and BP meds and antibiotics definitely take priority over wrapping an IV. All three I had to give plus a steroid and calling for RT to administer a breathing treatment. It took me about 10 seconds to find her because, like I said in that comment, I knew where she was. Our break room isn't too far from in front of the room where I was asked about the IV...

It looks like he was very near the break room and didn't have to leave his cart/meds anywhere unattended. And it looks like he had a lot to do.

[Sour Lemon]

I think drama like that in the workplace should be avoided at all costs. I'm not saying people should be doormats or kissing people's behinds, but the way the OP blocked Jen in the room & how Jen was screaming at the OP was ridiculous. This all could've been avoided.

I agree that the screaming and blocking were uncalled for.

[~Mi Vida Loca~RN, ASN, RN]

Technically, all apologies come with an ulterior motive; even making peace, or "feeling good inside" can be considered an ulterior motive.

Once a colleague files a incident report, that colleague is pretty much saying, "I am going to mess with your livelihood. Mmm hmm." What is the point of apologizing to someone who pretty much declared that he/she is after your job? Would you not want to minimize your interaction with said colleague and avoid further accusations? For instance - While the OP tries to apologizes, his colleague might go a power trip, instigate another scene, and then file another incident report.

To clarify: I would not bother apologizing after the incident report has been filed because it would be giving fodder to the complainant (in this case, the CNA). I do not know about you but I would not want to give someone more ammo against me. If, and only if, upper management pressures the OP to apologize in person, even after an incident report has been filed, then the OP should, and definitely with a mediator.

Ulterior Motives usually come with the meaning that your motive for doing the action is selfish of dishonorable. If I have done something and after reflecting realize I was wrong, I would apologize, not to make myself feel better, not because I am hoping to get out of a bad situations. But simply because I am acknowledging what I did was wrong. The person can forgive me or not. If you take that as an ulterior motive, that's on you and I can't even understand that mentality of thinking.

As someone that has had to de escalate many situations and oversee many situations, I would be less likely to write up or discipline someone that can now acknowledge they have done wrong and apologize then one that makes excuses and refuses to see the error in his ways. If it "appears" he's guilty by apologizing, he probably is. He already admitted he blocked her from leaving and that when she said not to do it again he told her she wasn't leaving until they discussed things. That was in no way shape or form OK. EVER.

No one declared they are after anyone's job. Lets not be so dramatic. She felt threatened. She reported it. Would it have been my first step??? No. But I don't know this woman or her history and she might very well have felt threatened and trapped and by writing an incident report her goal could have simply been to have this documented and for him to get coaching on why this was wrong. We don't have her side of the story.

[~Mi Vida Loca~RN, ASN, RN]

Now that the OP has been beaten up for appropriate delegation, I'm wondering if it might have been professional, considerate or both for the CNA to let her RN know she would be in the break room/on break for a while?

He said that he knew she was in there because she came in to take her break when he was coming off his lunch. Which didn't make sense as far as him asking if she was on lunch of break. It was made to sound like this was already worked out.

[~Mi Vida Loca~RN, ASN, RN]

Are you sure? Maybe we should beat that dead horse some more.

#horselivesmatter

[OrganizedChaos, LVN]

#horselivesmatter

OMG! LOL!!!!!