A 40 year old should not be this confused, help!

eatmysoxRN, ASN, RN · Sep 24, 2012

Have you shadowed a nurse before? I would contact a local hospital and ask about shadowing opportunities so you can see what it's like a bit better. This site is awesome and has tons of great stuff, but it is a place that is used to vent. Nursing has good and bad moments like anything else. Good luck!

melc0305 · Sep 25, 2012

If it makes you feel better, I am 39 and in the middle of pre-reqs and I debate if this is the right move EVERY day. Maybe because I feel at my age, I don't have a lot of time to make mistakes with a career path. I don't want to waste my time and money. I too, wonder if this is the right profession for me and my family even though I've thought about it for 2 years.

Instead of looking at the "weight" of nursing, think of all the good you'll be doing. Think of the lives you can touch and help. Maybe you can just adjust your mindset a little. Good luck!

Red35 · Sep 25, 2012

Why don't you shadow a nurse? Is nursing school hard? You bet...I'm in my 30's and I start school in October ( thank god I'm bored)..and I'm freaking out too. But guess what? I know this is what I want to do..I think you can be a happy nurse-my friends who are nurses are..and my family members who are nurses are too.

Being a nurse is stressful but I also believe if this is what you want then go for it.

Good luck!

llg, PhD, RN · Sep 26, 2012

Good question -- one that no one can answer but you. It will require you to think deeply about your personal philosophy of life and the type of life you want to lead. Do you want an "easy" life? Are you willing to give up "easy" and "safe" to choose a more difficult, stressful life path that involves risk?

These are the types of questions most nurses face -- either consciously as you are doing or sub-consciously. A lot of people leave nursing because it is not an easy, un-burdened life. They decide they don't want that much responsibility or stress in their lives. That's OK. Nursing is not for them. My only regret about that is that I wish they had thought deeply about those issues before they invested time, money, and community resources in their nursing education. (Prime example: new grads who suddenly realize they are going to have to work night shifts, weekends, and holidays -- and quit jobs because of that.)

I think about these issues some days, more so now than I did early in my career. When I was young and strong, I had few doubts that the responsibility, risk, and stress of a nursing career worth it. I still believe that. But as I now see retirement as less than a decade away, I find myself considering different options as to how I want to end my career. Easing into retirement by finding a lower-stress job seems attractive ... but there are still things I want to accomplish, and for that, my high-stress leadership job offers the best opportunities for making a meaningful contribution.

These are big, metaphysical questions. What is the meaning of life? What type of life do you want? How do you weigh your personal comfort / ease against the possibility of using your talents to accomplish something? etc.

I usually come down on the side of taking the risk and trying my best to contribute meaningfully to society. But finding the best path as I near the end of my career may involve different choices than those I made at the beginning of my career. You are at the beginning of your career (but with the introspective bent that comes with maturity). Only you can decide what type of life you want to lead and what the best path is for you.

LCinTraining · Sep 26, 2012

I second the shadow idea. Nursing is like labor. Everyone likes to tell you their horror stories. Yes people make mistakes, but they aren't normally "kill a patient" worthy mistakes. Yes the job is tough, but so is working a ten hour shift at a busy McDonalds that is known for getting bus loads of hungry tourists that can't understand why the lines are so long in spite of the fact that their tour group is five busses large. There are issues with every job. The difference is, you got into nursing for a reason. Is that reason enough to keep you here? Only you can answer that. See if you can volunteer or work as an aide part time just to get your feet wet. You will see what nurses do on a daily basis, and although school is rough, and the occasional idiot patient comes along, it still is like labor. Tough, painful, but oh so rewarding in the end, and really not as bad as they like to scare you into thinking.

brillohead, ADN, RN · Sep 26, 2012

I'll be 44yo when I graduate next May.

I've been gainfully employed since 1985, never been without a job in all that time. I'm working now, plus raising my son (and a dog. and a husband.).

When my son is grown and out of the house, I don't want to be stuck behind a desk like I have for the past two decades, nor do I want to be asking, "Do you want fries with that?" I want to be doing something that has a direct impact on someone else's life. I want to make a difference in the world.

That's what I can do with nursing. I can use my brains and my people skills and my training to make peoples' lives just a bit better. That's important to me.

What's important to you?

Yolee · Oct 26, 2012

Thanks for your reply. I so understand you! I'm in my first set of clinicals now at a nursing home and I'm still doing this yo-yo-ing, one moment I think "I can do this!" and at other moments I think, "What am I doing here?". I've had two different patients assigned to me over the last 6 weeks and felt so blessed by both of them. Just being able to sit, hear about the struggles they've gone through and are going through, that part of the job would be wonderful. Just listening seems to mean so much to them. But in reality how much time will I have to do that ( really connect with patients) once I start working? So far I've decided to stick with it and am signing up for the second semester classes. We'll see what happens.

Good luck to you in whichever direction you go! Stay in touch!

classicdame, MSN, EdD · Oct 26, 2012

you sound so much like me. My greatest talent is worrying. I started nursing at age 49 and love it. Worriers make good nurses too because we want the best for our patient. But yes, it is hard. Good luck!

loriangel14, RN · Oct 26, 2012

I wouldn't worry about the worrying part.That means you will be aware and take care when doing tasks like administering medications. I would be more concerned if you weren't concerned about making a mistake and hurting someone. Worrying will keep you vigilant.I don't think that nay of your feelings are unusual for a nursing student. I think that everyone has one of those "What have I gotten myself into?" moments in school.I think you will be just fine.

Yolee · Oct 26, 2012

I'm still getting a hang of this posting stuff, my previous post was directed to melc0305. I truly appreciate ALL of your advice and comments.

Thank you llg for your wise words. That is precisely what I've been wondering, what kind of life do I want? Do I want to take the easier route or do I want a life that although may be more painful and stressful may really make a difference. Red35 it's so encouraging to hear that indeed you CAN be a happy nurse:). Appreciate your suggestions on shadowing eatmysoxRN and LCinTraining, I will definitely look into that. brillohead good luck in your last year of school, it sounds like your life is full yet you've been perusing what you feel is right for you, you go girl! classicdame it's good to hear you love being a nurse in spite of being a worrier like me. Thanks loriangel14 for encouraging me about my worrying, that there is a place for that in nursing.

So far my classes are going well, I do get overwhelmed and stretched but have had some glimpses of hope. Just the other day I was able to reflect and see how much I've learned just this semester, things that were so hard and uncomfortable at first are becoming more comfortable. I've had a chance to work with a couple of elderly patients and that has been the highlight so far. I really connected with both of them and felt privileged to care for them, to listen to their stories, to learn from them.

I have decided to sign up for the second semester. I feel I need to take one step at a time. We'll see where this journey takes me.

All of you girls are great, thanks again for taking the time to give advice and encourage, it is so greatly appreciated!!! I wish you all the very best in your journeys.

allnurses Guide · Oct 27, 2012

Glad you are settling into your clinicals.

Yes, there are happy nurses. I'm one! Been doing this >30 years, and now teach it as well. Some times are better than others, as are some bosses. Remember, when things are going well, you don't really need to go online to vent and seek support; this place is for sharing information, insights, and yes, complaints. The "happy" threads I've started tend to get moved out of general nursing discussions........

There is stress in every occupation, obnoxious people to deal with in all aspects of life. Nurses just see folks in some of their worst times, and all of our "clientele" are under stress. Can't bear all the weight for them, they aren't our children; people have to take responsibility for their own lives. We help when we're there, then we go home and live our lives away from the drama of our profession. Which is why we are all in All Nurses....... okay, sometimes we bring the drama home :sarcastic: