A few sarcastic remarks to get you through the day (public service :) )

[mgthompson]

SARCASTIC REMARKS TO GET YOU THROUGH THE DAY:

1. And your crybaby whiny opinion would be...?

2. Do I look like a people person?

3. This isn't an office. It's Hell with

fluorescent lighting.

4. I started out with nothing & still have most

of it left.

5. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

6. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

7. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

8. You!... Off my planet!

9. If I want to hear the pitter patter of little

feet, I'll put shoes on my cats.

10. Does your train of thought have a caboose?

11. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

12. A PBS mind in an MTV world.

13. Allow me to introduce my selves.

14. Whatever kind of look you were going for,

you missed.

15. Suburbia: where they tear out the trees and then

name streets after them.

16. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

17. See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.

18. I have a computer, a remote control, and

pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house?

19. Not all men [women] are annoying. Some are dead.

20. Did I mention the kick in the groin you'll

be receiving if you touch me?

21. A woman's favorite position is CEO.

22. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

23. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

24. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you

realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

25. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

26. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just

wanted paychecks.

27. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

28. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

29. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

30. I plead contemporary insanity.

31. And which dwarf are you?

32. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

33. Meandering to a different drummer.

34. I majored in liberal arts. Will that be for here

or to go?

[LyndaK]

Thank you! Thank you! I can use a few of those next week!!

LyndaK

[Y2KRN]

Thank you these remarks are great!!!!!! LMAO Y2K

[Dplear]

another one....

just because you are paranoid does not mean they are not out to get you....

[night owl]

oh boy, am i going to have fun this week! thank you

[debbyed]

I had to print this out to take to work:D :D

[LoisBear]

To mgtompson: those were some of the best one liners I have seen...I have printed them and will put them up in my nursing station....My favorite is the chaos, panic and disorder-my work is done here. I work hospice and we often state that

the sh## is going to hit the fan, after we unimpact it

patients come in two categories: the annoying and the dead.

Is it possible for the family to have an out of body experience instead of the patient?

Hospice is for those of us who don't like the color choice in a code blue.

[misti_z]

Posted by mgthompson:

24. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

Been there, done that!

28. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

perfume/cologne, I know a few doctors I would like to ask this!!

[kewlnurse]

Meandering to a different drummer, love it!

[Ellen in Ont]

During the first "Survivor" episodes, I heard a cute saying that would fit here. You are sooo off the island!

[Enright]

I do love well placed sarcasm.....but I find it plays really BADLY here in the midwest. For a Jersey girl like myself, that takes away a major part of my orificenal. They just can't handle it here.

[prn nurse]

""SAVE IT FOR SOMEONE WHO CARES !!""