A lonely journey?

Joe NightingMale, MSN, RN · Aug 27, 2007

It probably is difficult being the only male in a female field. Though I have to say, in the States it seems like the female nurses really appreciate the male ones.

I wonder if part of the problem is that embarrassed to admit you're a male nurse. I could see how that sort of secret could interfere with relationships. I also wonder if perhaps you need some practice in interacting socially with women. It can be more difficult that interacting with other guys, but your are in a female-dominated field.

Just a thought.

gonzo1, ASN, RN · Aug 27, 2007

Don't know if you are in a committed relationship or not, but think of all the insights into females you will get. If you listen and learn you might at least get a glimmer of the female mind and know how to treat a woman.

I do feel sorry for you though. I was one of 3 woman phone installers back in the 70s and worked with all men.

It was kind of nice though because you don't get the catty, backstabbing crap you get with women. However, the guys do talk just as much as women and they used to love to do little things to piss us off like move everything in our equipment vans to different places on a day off so we wouldn't know where anything was.

Hope you can find some guys to hang out with soon.

How about getting a harley and going to HOG meetings.

Larry77, RN · Aug 27, 2007

When people ask me what I do they are often surprised or curious when I answer that I'm a nurse but I'm proud of this career and enjoy it very much. I could never see myself working in a mill with a bunch of cranky men who complain about "the man" and only want to talk about their new fishing hole or the nice buck dear they saw on the way to work.

When I started out I worked psych were there were a lot of men around, then I went to med/surg where I was the only man, now I work in ED where there are a lot of men around again *shrugs, just depends on what type of nursing and what dept you work in I guess.

peridotgirl · Aug 28, 2007

Although nursing is a female dominant field, I see nothing wrong with a male wanting to become a nurse. It shows that you have respect for the job because being a "murse" isn't always tolerated. Plus, female nurses love a strong man in the nursing field. I wish you all the best of luck in your career.

nursemike, ASN, RN · Aug 31, 2007

I'm not the only male on my unit, but our numbers have decreased a good bit since I started (down to just three of us, I think, from 10-12) so there are shifts when I'm the only male nurse on the floor. I have to admit, there are advantages to having some guys around. I get the distinct impression that many of my female colleagues really don't care that the new unit clerk is hot, or understand why a routine assessment can sometimes last half-an-inning (sometimes it's important just to "be there" for a patient who has a really good game on tv.)

That said, as others have observed, the ladies can, at times, be shockingly inclusive in their "girl talk." I find myself knowing far more about my co-workers' reproductive systems than I ever did in my days as a carpenter. I have occassionally seen brochures for "Sex Toy Parties!" and have been...well, let's say "disturbed" by the implications of my co-workers getting together to play with sex toys.

It's a different world, for sure, but over time I have found that there can be a certain degree of reciprocity. I may not be interested in my co-worker's cramps, and she may not care that the unit clerk is hot, but in some instances we are able to nod and look sympathetic. Thus, a conversation might go:

Me: "XXXXX is hot.":

Co-worker: "She's half your age."

Me: "That's why she's hot."

Co-worker: "Pervert."

Me: "I was just looking."

Co-worker: "Well, don't look too hard. She's having wicked PMS, and she might kill you."

Me: "How 'bout those Steelers?"

Now, at a recent inservice on sexual harassment, we learned that sexual harassment is the best of all possible harassments, because at least it's sexual, whereas the other kinds are just harassment. But I sorta got the impression that management sorta frowns on conversations like the above. My finding has been that some co-workers agree with management, but overall most agree that the consistency and efficiency of our sexual harassment has been greatly improved since the inservice.

The point I am probably failing to illustrate, here, is that we are all people, not just men and women. We have a great deal in common: our patients are PITAs, our NM is becoming increasingly demented as time goes by, we should have gone to truck-driving schools. These are areas of common ground we can freely discuss with any co-worker. Then there are things we probably shouldn't discuss with any co-worker, but still can with some, if we aren't too gross about it.

Thunderwolf, MSN, RN · Sep 4, 2007

This has been less of an issue for me as the years have rolled on by. Partially due to that I am older now (bothers me way, way less) and partially due to that more men have become nurses since I graduated (1985). And yes, men tend to congregate more in certain areas of nursing than in others. Think boys and their toys...then think technology with the bells and whistles....then think critical care/operative/ER. Makes sense for many of us. But, do I feel lonely as a man in nursing? No. I balance my life out with other things which are non nursing related.

HM2VikingRN, RN · Sep 4, 2007

I'm not the only male on my unit, but our numbers have decreased a good bit since I started (down to just three of us, I think, from 10-12) so there are shifts when I'm the only male nurse on the floor. I have to admit, there are advantages to having some guys around. I get the distinct impression that many of my female colleagues really don't care that the new unit clerk is hot, or understand why a routine assessment can sometimes last half-an-inning (sometimes it's important just to "be there" for a patient who has a really good game on tv.)
That said, as others have observed, the ladies can, at times, be shockingly inclusive in their "girl talk." I find myself knowing far more about my co-workers' reproductive systems than I ever did in my days as a carpenter. I have occassionally seen brochures for "Sex Toy Parties!" and have been...well, let's say "disturbed" by the implications of my co-workers getting together to play with sex toys.
It's a different world, for sure, but over time I have found that there can be a certain degree of reciprocity. I may not be interested in my co-worker's cramps, and she may not care that the unit clerk is hot, but in some instances we are able to nod and look sympathetic. Thus, a conversation might go:
Me: "XXXXX is hot.":
Co-worker: "She's half your age."
Me: "That's why she's hot."
Co-worker: "Pervert."
Me: "I was just looking."
Co-worker: "Well, don't look too hard. She's having wicked PMS, and she might kill you."
Me: "How 'bout those Steelers?"
Now, at a recent inservice on sexual harassment, we learned that sexual harassment is the best of all possible harassments, because at least it's sexual, whereas the other kinds are just harassment. But I sorta got the impression that management sorta frowns on conversations like the above. My finding has been that some co-workers agree with management, but overall most agree that the consistency and efficiency of our sexual harassment has been greatly improved since the inservice.
The point I am probably failing to illustrate, here, is that we are all people, not just men and women. We have a great deal in common: our patients are PITAs, our NM is becoming increasingly demented as time goes by, we should have gone to truck-driving schools. These are areas of common ground we can freely discuss with any co-worker. Then there are things we probably shouldn't discuss with any co-worker, but still can with some, if we aren't too gross about it.

:lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:

Ms Kylee · Sep 6, 2007

I get floated down to a unit that has a male RN on a regular basis, and I have learned more from him than I have from any of the female nurses on my regular floor. I think it is because he knows I really want to learn and because I am willing to listen to what he has to say in order to learn. AND I don't have to put up with him getting catty or the "eat your young" thing. It's also great to have male nurses on the pay issue thing. Men won't work for the wages we women do. Double advantage.

anonymurse · Sep 7, 2007

Hey murses,
Anyone else feel it can get a bit lonely being a male nurse?

Nope.

lighterbeing · Sep 12, 2007

:rotfl:

You guys are great, and we luv our male nurses!!!

(ok, ok I peeked.)

czyja, MSN, RN · Sep 22, 2007

but overall most agree that the consistency and efficiency of our sexual harassment has been greatly improved since the inservice.

This is usually the result of HR an inservice on sexual harassment. But, surely they must have told during the inservice that the sexually charged comment must be "unwanted" and "unwelcome" in order for it to be harassment. Sounds like you have an excellent sexual rapport with your co-workers.

Frankly, it strikes me that unwelcome and unwanted information on your co-workers menses may well verge on sexual harassment.