A little discouraged

Tweety, BSN, RN · Dec 21, 2005

I'm sorry to hear this.

We have a chain of command for physician incidents, and being shoved would be considered one.

Good luck to you.

Donnetterr · Dec 21, 2005

I am sorry this happened to you. When that happens to me, and I'm sure it will, I don't know how I will handle it. Touching you to push you out of the way could be considered battery, couldn't it? When that happens to me, I hope that I will be able to ask the doctor not to do it again, but I can't speak for what I may do in the future. I am not surprised that so many people leave nursing when nurses are not treated as human beings by so many people.

To my fellow nursing students: let's think of what we can do in the future to encourage better conditions in our hospitals.

BabyRN2Be · Dec 21, 2005

I am sorry this happened to you. When that happens to me, and I'm sure it will, I don't know how I will handle it. Touching you to push you out of the way could be considered battery, couldn't it?

Some people could call it assault. I'm not sure on the legal definitions. If you get a chance, read up on the legal definitions and for future reference, they could come in handy if this happens again.

I'm sorry that this has happened to you. I guess this is one of those reasons in which nursing can be quite discouraging.

Montessori Mommy · Dec 21, 2005

I'm just a nursing student, but I have two children. Please know that the care I received from the nurses both when in labor & delivery and afterwards in mother-baby meant so very much to me. You are caring for women at the most vulneravble times in their lives. Let your self-esteem grow & blossom based on that.... I love my OB, but the nurses who cared for me mean so much more to me than he does.

Best wishes,

Beth

ACNP · Dec 21, 2005

Keep your head up and try not to let this incident discourage you from nursing. You can report the incident to your supervisor and risk management at your facility. When I was working as an ICU staff nurse we had a physician who used to yell, scream, curse, throw charts, etc. when things did not go his way. He was a military doctor at our hospital working on his residency before he went back to a naval base and thought that we as nurses should snap to attention when he uttered an order to us. I did report him along with 2 other RNs on our unit for cussing at the staff as well as at me about one of my quadriplegic patients on the unit not sitting "properly" in the stretcher chair. I don't know if he was having a bad morning or what but I was not taking it anymore. I was told by the risk manager that the reports would go in the doc's permanent file. The doc did also get talked to by the chief doc and he did improve his attitude towards the staff. He was none the wiser as to who all reported him.

nursesaideBen · Dec 21, 2005

I'm sorry you had such an awful incident. I truly can relate. As a nursing assistant I am not even recognized as a living creature by doctors and many of the nurses I work with think I'm a certified nursing SLAVE instead of a certified nursing assistant. I've been out on the floor by myself many times and have needed help and have asked a nurse to help me only to recieve the response, "I don't wipe butt, honey.". Like you nursing to means EVERYTHING to me and to meet such negative people who think you are just a piece of scum in their godly path is very disheartening. Luckily, there are many POSITIVE people and experiences that help me forget about the negative. It's hard, but if you go to work the next day with things that happened previously still hanging over your head, work will slowly turn to hell and you'll wind up burned out. With me, I try to live each day as a new slate. I hope your days get better.

:icon_hug:

-Ben

RaeT,RN · Dec 21, 2005

I'm sorry you had such an awful incident. I truly can relate. As a nursing assistant I am not even recognized as a living creature by doctors and many of the nurses I work with think I'm a certified nursing SLAVE instead of a certified nursing assistant. I've been out on the floor by myself many times and have needed help and have asked a nurse to help me only to recieve the response, "I don't wipe butt, honey.". Like you nursing to means EVERYTHING to me and to meet such negative people who think you are just a piece of scum in their godly path is very disheartening. Luckily, there are many POSITIVE people and experiences that help me forget about the negative. It's hard, but if you go to work the next day with things that happened previously still hanging over your head, work will slowly turn to hell and you'll wind up burned out. With me, I try to live each day as a new slate. I hope your days get better.
:icon_hug:
-Ben

I started out as a CNA too, and encountered many nurses with this same attitude. But those were also the ones I didn't um, run as fast to help when they needed it. I love my CNA's and treat them with respect. They deserve it.

As for the doc with the shoving, yes, something definately needs to be said about that via the COC. That is unacceptable. You and the physician are a team.

Dayray, RN · Dec 21, 2005

I can relate it is very hard to deal with these things. Still you must see that your care impacts patients and that they are truly better off for having met you. Focus on the patients and let the bad stuff roll off. Find a way to deal with things that allows you to maintain a positive attitude and provide good care to your patients.

I too have struggled to maintain a positive attitude. Without turning this into a religious discussion, let me just say that my personal beliefs guide me to be a much less aggressive person then I feel nursing has made me. I don't go around yelling at people but the mistreatment of nurses and patients by doctors, staff and visitors really ticks me off. I find my self very often speaking sternly to others and at times in confrontation.

Although I don't like it, this is effective and usually ends with me gaining some respect from the person on the receiving end. It may not seem like a bad thing to be this way if it gets the job done but I struggle with it. I don't believe that people should seek the respect of others threw confrontation. Still so many times in nursing there just isn't time do things gently and you must quickly convert people to your point of view.

I'm not sure what the answer is just know that their are others that share your dilemma. Try to remember that your patients are the one's that matter and that if you continually succeed in advocating and delivering care to them then you have won the real battle.

**RosesrReder, BSN, MSN, RN** · Dec 21, 2005

I hope your days get better, hugs to you and good luck.

Altalorraine · Dec 21, 2005

Thanks to everyone for the kind words. I know I need to do some internal "headspace" work which insulates me from the external chipping away that so gets to me. I think, as many of you have pointed out, that focusing on my patients and my relationship with them is the way to go.

Have a good day everyone.

Altalorraine

SmilingBluEyes · Dec 21, 2005

Yes focusing is helpful. But if it's a huge problem for you, you have to tackle it or it revisits again and again, bringing down your morale and self esteem. Yes, it's about the patients, but you have the right to be treated fairly and professionally, too!

I believe learning how to personally be assertive and teaching others how to treat you is of enormous benefit. The doctors I work with can be very rude and disrespectful at times, but none of them treat me badly. I have learned somehow, to create a personal defense against this and they have really changed how they treat me personally.

I also think managment can make or break you here. I have worked for excellent managers who would never tolerate abuse of their staff in any form and that is a beautiful thing. Everyone, even the doctors, is happier, in such environments. And I have also worked for managers who roll over and play dead when a dr starts the yelling----that is the stinker and then it puts the onus on US to deal w/this ourselves. It's a shame because then, some of us do better than others. I hate to personally fight for my assertion, but I will because it makes my life (and the doctor's) easier.

I have some very good suggestions for books on self-assertion and how to teach others to treat you, if you want suggestions.

You must not let this all get you down or take it personally. You can only teach others how to treat YOU----in the end, it will be up to you. Your coworkers will have to learn this too, in the absense of a supportive environment. There is no choice.

Hang in there.

deb