SO much anxiety I don't want to go back

NedRN · Oct 3, 2014

Things will get better. And you will be much stronger nurse at the end. Then you can make another career decision. Hang in there!

perfexion, ASN, RN · Oct 3, 2014

Hang in there! I'm also a new traveler starting in L& D next week. I'll probably be going through the same thing. Be strong! I hope it gets better!

raindrop · Oct 3, 2014

I remember my 1st assignment like it was yesterday. I hated it so much that I considered breaking my contract. My coworkers were hardcore. In fact, another traveler did quit bc of being treated so poorly, etc. I stuck it out because agency warned me that I will owe them a crapload of money. Well, by the 11th week, I began to somewhat enjoy it, staff was much better to me by then. By the final 13th week, we all went out for drinks and everyone begged me to stay. I took 2 weeks off and then signed another contract. It was a miracle. That was when the book, "The Secret" came out and I was practicing the tips in that book all because of being miserable at that job.

PacoUSA, BSN, RN · Oct 3, 2014

Deleted, answered my own question :)

Mary C, MSN, RN, APRN, CNM · Oct 3, 2014

Personally, I have 3.5 years L&D and 1 year Med-surg. Feeling like I should have waited another year or so.

PacoUSA, BSN, RN · Oct 3, 2014

Personally, I have 3.5 years L&D and 1 year Med-surg. Feeling like I should have waited another year or so.

Ah ok ... so I should not have deleted my post, you answered it anyway :) ...

So are you traveling as a med-surg nurse? This is why I was asking because I figured someone with so much stress about an assignment might have had little experience with the specialty, but I thought you were traveling as L&D so I assumed I might be wrong.

Mary C, MSN, RN, APRN, CNM · Oct 3, 2014

L&D traveler. It's not that I don't know my OB stuff, I do. It's that I am really stressing over figuring out where everything is, and when to call Docs, while having a very short orientation. It's also just a big culture shock to be at a different facility across the country.

BonnieSc · Oct 3, 2014

You will be OK! It was hard for me to let go of what apparently is a little streak of perfectionism (my co-workers at my last permanent job are shaking with laughter right now). I hate making mistakes and I hate leaving anything undone. When I could remind myself to let go, being a traveler was a lot less stressful. This isn't like a permanent job where you have to learn this stuff because you're going to be using it for two years, teaching others, etc. All they expect is for you to take good care of the patients, ask when you need help, and otherwise, do the best you can. The expectations are different--repeat that to yourself as needed. You are never going to know all the little ins and outs of this unit or this hospital. Let that go. On my last shift I am still asking people where a piece of equipment is or whether I need to call a doctor (per protocol--obviously from a clinical standpoint I know when I need to call a doctor). And if the staff isn't very nice about answering questions or about the little things in the charting you didn't even know you were supposed to do and think you're the dumbest nurse they've ever come across? They won't, because you haven't killed anyone, but even if they do--big deal! You're never going to see any of them again. You probably don't even need a reference from them.

The role of a travel nurse isn't just to be a staff nurse for thirteen weeks at a time. It's actually a different role. Perhaps it would help to think of a substitute teacher. No one expects a substitute teacher to come up with lesson plans or write tests or make up classroom rules--she's just there to keep things going while there's a need.

Good luck! It's only going to get better from here.

idialyze, BSN, RN · Oct 3, 2014

Give it a little time. As discussed above, if you ditch this now, you could be liable for some megadollars to pay back to the agency!

I was always a little nervous beginning a new assignment when I traveled, but look at it this way, you only have to stick it out for 13 weeks, they all have to stick it out forever!

Never let 'em see you sweat!

perfexion, ASN, RN · Oct 3, 2014

You will be OK! It was hard for me to let go of what apparently is a little streak of perfectionism (my co-workers at my last permanent job are shaking with laughter right now). I hate making mistakes and I hate leaving anything undone. When I could remind myself to let go, being a traveler was a lot less stressful. This isn't like a permanent job where you have to learn this stuff because you're going to be using it for two years, teaching others, etc. All they expect is for you to take good care of the patients, ask when you need help, and otherwise, do the best you can. The expectations are different--repeat that to yourself as needed. You are never going to know all the little ins and outs of this unit or this hospital. Let that go. On my last shift I am still asking people where a piece of equipment is or whether I need to call a doctor (per protocol--obviously from a clinical standpoint I know when I need to call a doctor). And if the staff isn't very nice about answering questions or about the little things in the charting you didn't even know you were supposed to do and think you're the dumbest nurse they've ever come across? They won't, because you haven't killed anyone, but even if they do--big deal! You're never going to see any of them again. You probably don't even need a reference from them.
The role of a travel nurse isn't just to be a staff nurse for thirteen weeks at a time. It's actually a different role. Perhaps it would help to think of a substitute teacher. No one expects a substitute teacher to come up with lesson plans or write tests or make up classroom rules--she's just there to keep things going while there's a need.
Good luck! It's only going to get better from here.

Great advice!

Mary C, MSN, RN, APRN, CNM · Oct 5, 2014

Yes but if I am missing facility specific things, I hear the other nurses talking about me, but no one ever mentions it to my face. I ask for help or where something is on my third shift and get told that I should already know. I had a migraine the last two shifts the entire time, and this morning threw up just thinking about going to work so I called off.

I know that breaking a contract is a huge black mark on myself & my travel company, but I can't do this for 11 more weeks.