Question

  1. DO not post on facebook admin.


    I had an situation yesterday, that I was completely unprepared and unsure how to respond to this, especially in my school where Sex Ed is not allowed.

    I had a student, age 13, come in and tell me she had her first sexual experience with her boyfriend of 16. And that they didn't use a condom and she was happy she had her period.

    The only thing I told her is that she needs to be careful on these things and she needs to tell her parents or our dean of students, because of pregnancy and the age of consent, use protection and such. She didn't want to because she was afraid she would get in trouble.

    She left and I was in lost on what to do, do I report it to my dean of students, do I call CPS? I searched on the age of consent and I saw the laws and this situation got worse because of her age.

    I told my dean of students, who in all honestly didn't know what to do about this issue because she never had this issue before, so we had to call our central office and they told us we need to tell the parents and inform the child what we're doing.

    Now I'm going to have to talk to her with the DoS and explain to her why I'm doing this, even thought she told me in confidence.

    Before we go on this topic, Texas Law has a lot of things, including the Romeo and Juliet Clause, but even though, they are 3 years apart, she is still considered a minor and such a minor here in 13 years old, and below that age is considered statutory rape and other things that can make more harm than good. As well I am in a Public Charter School.

    I'm not sure how to approach this at all, these kids come talk to me because we have a counselor who only comes once a week and it's mostly for issues that she is told about like suicide or other things. Most of the things I'm told are "I like this boy" or "This girl is so mean" and I tell my DoS about it because she handles these issues, but now this?

    What do I do? What should I do?

    Edit: I was told I don't need to be in this meeting, and apparently mother is coming to come talk to our DoS with the child.
    Last edit by Amethya on Sep 28
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  2. 44 Comments

  3. by   MHDNURSE
    It looks like they are BOTH considered minors b/c age of consent is 17 in Texas. There is also not an age gap of more than 3 years. Prosecution is very unlikely in that case. Did she say it was consensual? If yes, then very unlikely any type of prosecution is warranted. If she were 12 or he were 17, that would change things considerably.

    If I were in your position and by law was prevented from offering any type of education on the subject matter, I would tell her she needs to make an appointment with her primary care doctor ASAP and talk to them about making safe choices.
  4. by   Amethya
    Quote from MHDNURSE
    It looks like they are BOTH considered minors b/c age of consent is 17 in Texas. There is also not an age gap of more than 3 years. Prosecution is very unlikely in that case. Did she say it was consensual? If yes, then very unlikely any type of prosecution is warranted. If she were 12 or he were 17, that would change things considerably.

    If I were in your position and by law was prevented from offering any type of education on the subject matter, I would tell her she needs to make an appointment with her primary care doctor ASAP and talk to them about making safe choices.
    I was told I'm not even allowed to even tell her "To be careful" because it sounds like I'm saying she's okay to have sex, even if I told her "Use protection if you are to do it again." I'm not allowed.
  5. by   WineRN
    Quote from Amethya
    I was told I'm not even allowed to even tell her "To be careful" because it sounds like I'm saying she's okay to have sex, even if I told her "Use protection if you are to do it again." I'm not allowed.
    That is a rough situation to be in.

    Since she is a minor, and our offices are not 100% confidential places (we share info on a need to know basis), I may have spoke to your counselor and had them reach out to the parent.
  6. by   Amethya
    I just don't want to lose my job! I just told her these things and I didn't know what to do in this situation.
  7. by   Farawyn
    Ugggh.

    First of all, pat yourself on that back that she DID confide in you.

    I know I have a few different scenarios running around.
    Finding the age of consent is important, we all know that, and I think the 3 year gap is considered big enough to make this about sex offense or statutory rape.

    When I worked in the clinic, in OBGYN, if a 13 year old was seeking birth control we were NOT able to call the parents. We did try to counsel the girl, and we would often make referrals to the in office SW, who would then determine whether or not CPS would be called.

    School is different. We are in loco parentis. In this case, you must let the DOS know. She is 13.

    I am not consulting anything, just talking off the top of my head. I would love so see some REAL answers, especially from the Texans.
  8. by   Farawyn
    Quote from Amethya
    I was told I'm not even allowed to even tell her "To be careful" because it sounds like I'm saying she's okay to have sex, even if I told her "Use protection if you are to do it again." I'm not allowed.
    But if you have her go to the doctor and they tell her that, it is okay.
  9. by   Amethya
    Quote from Farawyn
    But if you have her go to the doctor and they tell her that, it is okay.
    What I'm scared is because I told her this and that she needs to use protection, that I'll get in trouble. I did tell her that she's too young for this, and it's not good she's doing these things at this age because of her future and such. I'm just worried that because what I said, I'll get in trouble because I didn't know I wasn't suppose to tell her "to be careful".
  10. by   Farawyn
    Quote from Amethya
    What I'm scared is because I told her this and that she needs to use protection, that I'll get in trouble. I did tell her that she's too young for this, and it's not good she's doing these things at this age because of her future and such. I'm just worried that because what I said, I'll get in trouble because I didn't know I wasn't suppose to tell her "to be careful".
    Let that go. It is a human response.

    Your focus now is getting this girl help. Talk to the DOS. tell her honestly that you are speaking to her because you don't know where to turn for this girl "and the law states bla bla bla..."
  11. by   Amethya
    Quote from Farawyn
    Let that go. It is a human response.

    Your focus now is getting this girl help. Talk to the DOS. tell her honestly that you are speaking to her because you don't know where to turn for this girl "and the law states bla bla bla..."
    I did already, but I'm just worried this kid would say more than I said and I would get in trouble. DoS is having a meeting with the parent and student today on this issue.
  12. by   Cattz
    Oh gee. What a difficult spot. So glad the girl talked to you. You did the best you could do with what you knew. It sounds like you handled it as well as you possibly could. Take a deep breath. Hopefully, you will hear something after the meeting.
  13. by   AdobeRN
    This is one of the reasons why I am nurse at the elementary level - uggg what a tough situation to be in. Parents are so uptight these days (at least in my area) that I feel I need to be careful about how much info I give to any of my 4th/5th grade girls when they have period questions.
  14. by   SaltineQueen
    Quote from Amethya
    I did already, but I'm just worried this kid would say more than I said and I would get in trouble. DoS is having a meeting with the parent and student today on this issue.
    Why do they not want you in there? I'd want to be there to defend my words, if necessary.

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