When a teacher asks you to talk to a student about needing to wear a bra, how do you handle it?
On a personal level, I would be rather upset if someone at my daughter's school had approached her about that because she is self-conscious enough as it is. And truthfully, I would not be happy if they felt the need to approach me either.
I guess what I'm thinking is - yes, some of my older elementary girls (I have prek-6th grade) are beginning to have some breast development but what exactly constitutes needing a bra & when/how would you all talk with a parent or student?
Jan 23, '14
i tend to agree with you - we are not in the business of policing people's undergarments. If the teacher that is asking you to speak with the student feels that strongly about it, they can bring it up with the student or parent.
Jan 23, '14
In the 5th/6th puberty health courses we offer at my school, the nurse talks about breast development and bra fitting. But that is a general talk, addressed to the entire female population in those grades. I've had girls ask me about it and I'm happy to have a conversation - IF they start it. Even then, I usually answer the questions generally and point them toward a parent/guardian.
Jan 23, '14
If a teacher spoke to me about it I would incorporate it into my Health classes with a discussion on changing bodies, etc. Just like I do whenever BO of a student comes to me. I would not address it one on one with the student. My thought is plant the idea with the child, encourage kids to discuss what we talk about with their parents and if it's the right time for them and hopefully the parents will realize the need that they may not have thought about previously. It worked wonders in our 6th grade increasing deodorant use! If you don't teach Health class formally I would ask the teacher to allow me to come in for an inservice type thing in the class about growing up, changing bodies, etc. Good luck!
Jan 23, '14
I agree with what everyone said. It's not our place to tell a student it's time for a bra. I think a general classroom discussion is a good idea. I wish teachers realized it would be so much simpler and less uncomfortable for the student if they'd just say " Hey Jimmy-take a bath tonight" or Hey Class-you need to talk to your parents about buying you deodorant-it's getting warm out and you're growing up", or even have their own discussion in health class about taking good care of their bodies but for some reason they want to make a big deal, draw the student out, and send them to have a "discussion" with the nurse and make them feel like they are in trouble (even though they aren't it sure feels like it to them). Not all teachers-some are great but there are those certain ones!
Jan 24, '14
Consider the kid may not have someone at home to help them with this. I didn't. I grew up with just my dad, and it was unfortunately an older girl at a public swimming pool who informed me (and everyone at the pool) that I needed to shave and wear a bra. It would have been much less embarrassing had a woman I trusted discussed this with me in private.
Yeah, we had "the talk" in school, and health class, but as I was 10-11 when it happened, I did not make the connection and realize it was time for me to do those things. Those videos and stuff always couch things in terms of "someday," and "one day, you will..." Not, "Hey you! In the third row! Get a bra and some deodorant! While you're at it, shave your pits and get some pads, because you're gonna need them in a couple months!"
I understand school nurses can't be responsible for every kid's personal hygiene or underwear, but maybe on a case by case basis? I really had no clue about this stuff and nobody else to teach me.
Jan 24, '14
I hate it but will do it & have done it - it has only happened a couple of times. I find myself giving the deordant/need to shower talk more often. I just pull the kid in my office and have a quick discussion about it - I don't think there is an easy way to ease in the conversation either - sometimes I use the excuse that the shirt they are wearing is thin and they need to start wearing a tank or sport bra when wearing tshirts.
Jan 27, '14
Yes, that is a possibility!! I have had to do it, only once.....But she was sooo grateful!
Apr 27, '14
I've had to ask administration about this. I also work at an elementary school. We cannot insist that a student wear a bra, so I would have to discuss it with my principal if it was creating a distraction or something. Then, I would hope to slot that under dress code so they'd handle it!
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