I graduated in December 2011 with my ADN-RN. I had my first interview before I even graduated. In the evening hours after that interview one of the nurse managers called me and offered me a job. The HR people said they would be contacting me that Friday. That nurse manager called me from her cell. Strange right? I told her that I was wanting to see if I could get hired on the step-down unit and if not I would love to come work for her. All the while waiting for Friday to come around I was anticipating at least getting an offer from the nurse manager that called me. Friday comes around and HR says sorry but we don't have any positions available for you at this time. My first exposure to the nasty world of nursing politics.
My first job was in a nursing home. I quit in 4 days. I could not handle 27 patients, head to toe charting and only 3 days orientation. Many treatments and meds were missed due to time constraints. I was exhausted, scared and not willing to risk my license. I thought for sure I would be more comfortable in a hospital setting where I would have more support.
I then got an externship in L&D which I thought at the time was a gift from God seeing as how that was why I got into nursing and that it wasn't everyday that a new grad gets chosen for such a prestigious unit. I had done my last clinical rotation on a postpartum floor and loved it. I made the mistake of choosing L&D instead of postpartum because of desire and not thinking about what I could have handled. Once on the L&D floor I starting having panic attacks. I soon realized that I did not want to be adjusting pitocin, making truly independent decisions without the approval of a physician and many many more responsibilities I was just not comfortable with. Being in constant fear a baby and/or mom could die due to a mistake I made, constant charting. On top of all that at the end of our 16 week training I would be all on my own.
I asked to be moved to postpartum since it had been originally offered to me. Manger said yes, Director of Nursing said no. She offered me the vacant OR position which when the other nurses found out was a decision I regretted agreeing to. I was cussed at, yelled at, looked at ugly and by the end of the day most of the nurses had called management to complain about me. I quit. I figured at this time I would not be moved, I was physically sick from stress and anxiety and none of the nurses on the floor would be willing to lend a helping hand or take me under their wing after that.
Feeling very depressed and after a few months I decided I should start substitute teaching for a local school district. The offered me the option to sub nurse. I agreed thinking yet again God was leading me. I loved school nursing. I was very reliable, and always was available to help the nurses. I even got offered a long term sub assignment in the nurses office where I served for 3 months. The head nurse had even offered me a full time position. When I showed up to the interview the Director of the nurses, who is not a nurse, told me that I look too young to work at the high school, dont have enough experience and dont know my scope of practice do to my inexperience. The position at the school I was at for 3 months opened up and I didn't even get an interview.
The politics in this game of nursing are just plain sick. Its not worth it to be overloaded with responsibility, being bullied by older nurses, and all the while live in constant fear of making a mistake. I truly believe the nursing profession to be greatly glorified and I can't understand why anyone would want to live such a miserable life. I have recently taken a job at a school as a teachers aid making about half what I did at nursing. I will get to spend all holidays, weekends, and summer vacation with my daughter.
I am very angry for the time I wasted in nursing school and the money wasted but I guess I can take it as a lesson learned. If deep down you feel like nursing is not for you and you have second thoughts in nursing school like I did take them seriously. I will be returning to school this fall to work on a degree in Education. I worry about bills constantly but with my anxiety I just cant do nursing. I am miserable living with my in-laws and its hard to see an end in sight.
Last edit by Esme12 on Aug 2, '13
: Reason: TOS/remove name/formatting