I graduated in December 2011 with my ADN-RN. I had my first interview before I even graduated. In the evening hours after that interview one of the nurse managers called me and offered me a job. The HR people said they would be contacting me that Friday. That nurse manager called me from her cell. Strange right? I told her that I was wanting to see if I could get hired on the step-down unit and if not I would love to come work for her. All the while waiting for Friday to come around I was anticipating at least getting an offer from the nurse manager that called me. Friday comes around and HR says sorry but we don't have any positions available for you at this time. My first exposure to the nasty world of nursing politics.
My first job was in a nursing home. I quit in 4 days. I could not handle 27 patients, head to toe charting and only 3 days orientation. Many treatments and meds were missed due to time constraints. I was exhausted, scared and not willing to risk my license. I thought for sure I would be more comfortable in a hospital setting where I would have more support.
I then got an externship in L&D which I thought at the time was a gift from God seeing as how that was why I got into nursing and that it wasn't everyday that a new grad gets chosen for such a prestigious unit. I had done my last clinical rotation on a postpartum floor and loved it. I made the mistake of choosing L&D instead of postpartum because of desire and not thinking about what I could have handled. Once on the L&D floor I starting having panic attacks. I soon realized that I did not want to be adjusting pitocin, making truly independent decisions without the approval of a physician and many many more responsibilities I was just not comfortable with. Being in constant fear a baby and/or mom could die due to a mistake I made, constant charting. On top of all that at the end of our 16 week training I would be all on my own.
I asked to be moved to postpartum since it had been originally offered to me. Manger said yes, Director of Nursing said no. She offered me the vacant OR position which when the other nurses found out was a decision I regretted agreeing to. I was cussed at, yelled at, looked at ugly and by the end of the day most of the nurses had called management to complain about me. I quit. I figured at this time I would not be moved, I was physically sick from stress and anxiety and none of the nurses on the floor would be willing to lend a helping hand or take me under their wing after that.
Feeling very depressed and after a few months I decided I should start substitute teaching for a local school district. The offered me the option to sub nurse. I agreed thinking yet again God was leading me. I loved school nursing. I was very reliable, and always was available to help the nurses. I even got offered a long term sub assignment in the nurses office where I served for 3 months. The head nurse had even offered me a full time position. When I showed up to the interview the Director of the nurses, who is not a nurse, told me that I look too young to work at the high school, dont have enough experience and dont know my scope of practice do to my inexperience. The position at the school I was at for 3 months opened up and I didn't even get an interview.
The politics in this game of nursing are just plain sick. Its not worth it to be overloaded with responsibility, being bullied by older nurses, and all the while live in constant fear of making a mistake. I truly believe the nursing profession to be greatly glorified and I can't understand why anyone would want to live such a miserable life. I have recently taken a job at a school as a teachers aid making about half what I did at nursing. I will get to spend all holidays, weekends, and summer vacation with my daughter.
I am very angry for the time I wasted in nursing school and the money wasted but I guess I can take it as a lesson learned. If deep down you feel like nursing is not for you and you have second thoughts in nursing school like I did take them seriously. I will be returning to school this fall to work on a degree in Education. I worry about bills constantly but with my anxiety I just cant do nursing. I am miserable living with my in-laws and its hard to see an end in sight.
Last edit by Esme12 on Aug 2, '13
: Reason: TOS/remove name/formatting
Aug 2, '13
As this website (and your post) is able to be viewed by anyone in the world ... you should probably not post your full name and a picture of yourself. That's just not prudent in today's world.
I am sorry you made a few choices in your life that now regret and wish you the best of luck in your new career.
Aug 2, '13
My computer for whatever reason linked to my facebook I did not do it intentionally.
Aug 2, '13
post edited.....I am so sorry you have had such a hard time nursing is tough in the best of times...and it is not everyone's cup of tea. I wish you they very best on your future endeavors.
Aug 3, '13
Maybe it's not nursing. Maybe it's you. Not everyone is cut out to be a nurse. It is a stressful career. We are expected to be perfect at all times. If we're not, someone could die. There are politics in every industry. Before becoming a nurse, I worked for a large convenience store chain as a manager. The politics in that company were far more Machievellen than anything I've ever run into in the world of nursing and I've been a nurse for more than 30 years.
Aug 3, '13
Think of it this way... its only an associate degree (2-3 years wasted) you could have been getting a Bachelor's in psychology and never found a job- EVER. At least you can still find a different job SOMEWHERE in nursing... I promise... somewhere!!!!
::edit:: - I'm just an LPN in the process of reaching an ADN soooo.... no offense at the only an assc degree comment, but after talking to many peers at my hospital, there seems to be a fair amount of ppl feeling that same way. To utilize "therapeutic communication" - how does that make you feel?
Srsly, tho, Cynthia... I think the politics are going to be like most anywhere you look for a job. Its not just you. Its everywhere to a degree.
Edit x2.... omg... "its everywhere TO A DEGREE" HAHAHAHA- I didn't even realize I made a pun!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm going to tell all my friends about this and they'll think i'm an idiot but i'm dying laughing here!! OMG... I should be a comedian!!
Last edit by libran1984 on Aug 3, '13
: Reason: I'm too funny
Aug 3, '13
Sorry all the negativity you faced. Not everything in nursing us easy or for everyone. With time you will find your niche just give it time. There are areas of nursing that you might like. Perhaps research some other areas and maybe see about shadowing in different areas.
I have been a nurse for 30 years. I have done things I loved and hated but I loved being a nurse. I have found my place and much happier! Good luck!
Aug 3, '13
Out of fear of not being able to take care of my own children, I sucked it up. I was bullied, harrassed, taken advantage of, overworked, missed holidays with my kids,tried to sleep summer days when kids were home from school and worked nights. I hear you, every bit of what you say.
Home health is a great experience. So are other places in nursing. School Nursing. Case management.
I suffered and survived.
I hear what you are saying.
Aug 4, '13
I understand Hon I really do
Aug 4, '13
I think you may have handled a couple things better like telling the first nurse manager you were going to see if you were going to be hired on another unit. In any profession I think if a candidate did that the manager would be offended, plus they would think the applicant should have known not to say that. There's certain things a person should avoid when looking for work and one of them is telling a potential employer that the job being offered is the second choice. A better think would have been to say that you hadn't made up your mind yet and needed a few more days but that you were super excited about the offer. In the second instance you probably should have just stuck it out on the L and D unit and talked to someone about your anxiety. In a step down unit you'd be dealing with high acuity patients too, making life and death decisions. Maybe like you said nursing wasn't for you and you made a mistake going into it. There's nothing wrong with that. In the future though I would advise you to watch what you say to potential employers because there are politics involved in any profession.
Aug 4, '13
First, I applaud you for (a) having the courage to go after an RN license, and (b) having the courage to say "this ain't for me". Neither one is an easy task - and, frankly, the only way you (or anyone else) will ever know if they can (or should) do something for a career is to get in there and DO IT. No shame in admitting it just wasn't a good fit - and, at least you found a niche somewhere else fairly quickly.
Second - +1 on politics; you're going to get it as a teacher as well. More a question of degree than kind, and admittedly it can be pretty bare-knuckles in the nursing profession. So far I've been a CNA for 1 year, 3 months and was part of the termination of 2 CNAs & 1 LVN. Not my intent, and it was largely a matter of keeping my mouth shut while they professionally hung themselves. Still, I have several teachers in my "circle" and to a person they all are firmly on the side of keeping your head down if at all possible. Caveat Lector.
Third - never, but NEVER assume that the time you spent learning was a waste! Wish I could tell you the number of times I was bailed out of some pretty sticky situations by what I learned in school (and life - best school of all!); keep in mind that anatomy, physiology, chemistry, statistics, critical thinking are not unique to the nursing profession. You WILL be putting these to use elsewhere - guaranteed. And...don't count nursing out just yet. You may want to give it another try in a few years, with a little seasoning and another tick or two on the odometer.
Hang in there, CynthiaG - it'll work out for you.
Aug 4, '13
Cynthia- i had similar situations. You are not alone. It sucks that this can be the norm. Keep trying. Something has to give soon
Aug 4, '13
I feel your pain. I think many of us do. You might be right that nursing may/may not be for you. The only reason I say that is because (SADLY) many of us have walked this trail of tears. I thought about quitting, tried to... but nursing is ME! I figure that someday as I lay dying, I'll probably be mentoring my hospice nurse! LOL!
When people ask if they should be a nurse..it's a hard question to answer. I HATE the politics of nursing...one of the reasons I walk the harrowing road of agency (you can read my diatribe about THAT if you want!). It seems to have the worst aspects of the female personality/traits. I just can't imagine doing anything else, even though I was a travel agent (and a substitute teacher) before this and enjoyed those jobs as well, I AM and ALWAYS will be A NURSE! Even with the long hours and the soul sucking hardships (politics and annoying family members top my list), I don't think I can be anything else anymore.
I wish you well in your future endevors. Sadly, someone else pointed out that the "politics" are everywhere. Hopefully, they won't be as harsh as you have experienced.
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