dating someone with schizophrenia
- 5Oct 9, '08 by dipsett08My boyfriend has schizophrenia. he was very open and honest with me from the first day of our relationship that he had it. i really had strong feelings for him regardless of it. i haven't seen him in very severe episodes but i have witnessed him talking to himself. he says very off the wall stuff to me and all i do is just listen. one day he asked me do i hear the voice that he hears. i told him no. it is very heartbreaking. there has been times that he end up in the hospital one day and the next day he'll come to me like nothing ever happen and we are happy again.
If he has a problem or wants someone to talk to, he'll immediately call me. he says i bring him some sort of comfort because i am sincere with this mental disease. he knows im going to nursing school and believes ill make a good nurse because im so good to him.
He lives by himself so every now and then i go over there to check on him to see if he takes his medicine.
I know if i committ myself to him, then i committ myself to his illness. even though he is dealing with something very serious, is it possible to have a normal and happy relationship with him?
- 0Oct 9, '08 by HeartsOpenWideHappy, probably, but normal? I am guessing not, but what is normal anyway? Good for you for seeing past his illness. I am sure I am just selfish, but I could never put myself in your situation intentionally (of course if my husband developed schizophrenia I would have to deal with it)
- 2Oct 9, '08 by Jules AQuote from lundenSchizophrenia can be a really difficult disease to manage, imo. I was very particular about who I dated and wouldn't have been willing to start a relationship with someone that I knew had this, many other diseases, addictions, an ex-wife or bad credit for that matter. I would stick by my husband if he contracted it now but that is because we have a history. I guess if I were looking for a partner now that I'm in my 40's I wouldn't be able to be so particular. This this might sound harsh and I know that no one is perfect but relationships can be very hard under the best of circumstances and I think not starting with a near clean slate is like poking a stick in the tiger's cage.wow, that is something. as long as he takes his meds everyday he should be fine
- 5Oct 17, '08 by kiwipsychnurseHi Dipsett08. Before I can judge your relationship there would be so much more I would need to know. From my 10 years experience, Schizophrenia affects people in many ways. Just be aware of the early warning signs. They are the best indicator if someone is becoming unwell. I would also suggest networking with a schizophrenia support group. I'm sure there are others in a similar situation. My own view is that I could not be in a relationship with a person with schizophrenia, but that is only because of having worked in mental health. Again call me selfish but marriage is hard enough without having a life long mental illness to deal with aswell.
- 4Oct 17, '08 by Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN GuideI appreciate the remarks so far about committing yourself to a person with schizophrenia.
I would add that I wouldn't bring children into the marriage - maybe get my tubes tied because kids deserve, not perfect parents as there are none, but parents who are mentally stable.
Being a parent (and a marriage partner to boot) takes an incredible amount of hard work.
If the focus will be on taking care of your partner, that leaves kids in the cold.
I would tread cautiously.
And Stan - Bipolar is different than schizophrenia. I wouldn't disappear.
- 3Oct 17, '08 by kiwipsychnurseAgree with above post. Bi-polar is very different. If I was married to a person withbi-polar my number priority would be to block access to the joint bank account. Wow that bi-polar illness can do some serious damage to bank accounts.
- 3Oct 18, '08 by Jules AQuote from Spidey's momMy big concern along these lines is also that schizophrenia like many other mental illnesses is largely familial. I know it isn't politically correct to acknowledge these kind of things 'now a days' but imo it is very important to at least consider.I would add that I wouldn't bring children into the marriage - maybe get my tubes tied because kids deserve, not perfect parents as there are none, but parents who are mentally stable.
- 5Oct 19, '08 by NickytotoI definitely don't want to scare you, but the RNs who I have spoken to about schizophrenic patients have mentioned that it is often seems "progressive" and the person eventually needs full-time care because of medication side effects and the mental illness itself. We're talking about intimate care like helping with showering.
Schizophrenic people seem often quite quirky and like unusual things... Watch out for signs that he could harm himself or others. The voices could be telling him to lay himself on train tracks, or he could want to lay on train tracks to escape the voices, for example. And keep him on the meds, the side effects may want him to stop. Make sure he keeps up with regular visits with a health professional, as the meds may not always work for him and may need reviewing.
I can't look into your future and tell you if your relationship will work out, that's something only you two can end up knowing