Patients mom wants me to get in bed with her

Specialties Private Duty

Published

Specializes in Pediatric.

Thoughts on this? I feel like this is an EXTREMELY odd request and I've gotten several. Not because I think it's INAPPROPRIATE per se, but it's just seems off. Thoughts?

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Lol really depends on who the patient is. A 50 year old man---pretty strange request. A 3 year old who you sit next to on the bed for comfort----eh not so bad.

Specializes in Pediatric.
Lol really depends on who the patient is. A 50 year old man---pretty strange request. A 3 year old who you sit next to on the bed for comfort----eh not so bad.

It's a semi comatose 12 year old and a small bed. I am 6'2". Idk, it just seems "off."

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That to me is the parents job

I can't think of any reason why that would be a good idea.

Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.

I would say no....it is inappropriate.

Specializes in Pediatric Private Duty; Camp Nursing.

I have an 8 year old female client with a chromosomal disorder and her symptoms are very unusual. She needs physical or sensory stimulation All. The. Time. I've never seen anything like it. If she is awake, she's on the move. She bounces all over furniture, spins plates and toys, bounces on an exercise trampoline, drops things and picks them over an over, etc. On the bus to school she needs her ipod of music or funny sounds like sneezes or rasberries or she'll start hitting herself on the head for stimulation, because she's buckled in and can't move around. Her body is muscular and toned from this non-stop movement. She's even got a 6-pack. The girl is STRONG.

So when it's time to go to bed, she has a really hard time calming down and relaxing. She has her music, but if she's left in bed alone, she'll bounce around, throw all the pillows and blankets off the bed, shout out, smack her head, etc. So mom lays with her, using her body to literally restrain her. The weight from someone laying on her is calming to this girl and she'll fall asleep pretty quickly. Sometimes she wakes up in the middle of the night and if she becomes fully awake, she'll be up as much as 4 hours before practically passing out, if left to her own devices. Some nurses are hesitant to do it, but since I worked day shift with this girl for a few months and really know her unique behavior and understand her needs. I realize I'm in for a tough night if I don't lay next to her and put some weight on her. I've only had to do this maybe three times in two years. It's unusual, I know, but mom totally appreciates when a nurse is willing to do that. I document that it is per mom's request. I'm a mom of a girl the same age as her, so it's as similar as cuddling my own daughter. I can see it being weird for a male nurse, or someone not used to kids.

Also say it is inappropriate. Should something, anything, happen, you will be in the hot seat, or hot bed, so to speak.

I have an 8 year old female client with a chromosomal disorder and her symptoms are very unusual. She needs physical or sensory stimulation All. The. Time. I've never seen anything like it. If she is awake, she's on the move. She bounces all over furniture, spins plates and toys, bounces on an exercise trampoline, drops things and picks them over an over, etc. On the bus to school she needs her ipod of music or funny sounds like sneezes or rasberries or she'll start hitting herself on the head for stimulation, because she's buckled in and can't move around. Her body is muscular and toned from this non-stop movement. She's even got a 6-pack. The girl is STRONG.

So when it's time to go to bed, she has a really hard time calming down and relaxing. She has her music, but if she's left in bed alone, she'll bounce around, throw all the pillows and blankets off the bed, shout out, smack her head, etc. So mom lays with her, using her body to literally restrain her. The weight from someone laying on her is calming to this girl and she'll fall asleep pretty quickly. Sometimes she wakes up in the middle of the night and if she becomes fully awake, she'll be up as much as 4 hours before practically passing out, if left to her own devices. Some nurses are hesitant to do it, but since I worked day shift with this girl for a few months and really know her unique behavior and understand her needs. I realize I'm in for a tough night if I don't lay next to her and put some weight on her. I've only had to do this maybe three times in two years. It's unusual, I know, but mom totally appreciates when a nurse is willing to do that. I document that it is per mom's request. I'm a mom of a girl the same age as her, so it's as similar as cuddling my own daughter. I can see it being weird for a male nurse, or someone not used to kids.

Weighted blankets are an AMAZING thing. You (and by you, I meant anyone in general) can make them yourself if insurance won't cover them or you can't afford them. It might help her sleep through the night.

Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.

Maybe if the patient was younger & needing some soothing. But laying with a patient that old just looks weird. If the parents want it then they should do it.

It's weird. I wouldn't have a problem if you wanted to cuddle my son in the rocking chair but I'd be creeped out if I saw you in bed with him.

My husband and I liked to get in bed our son. We got out of bed if he needed a diaper change because I felt that it would be way too weird for a nurse to change a diaper while we were right there in bed.

Specializes in Pediatric.

Thanks to everyone that replied. I do feel it is strange, and not quite appropriate, although not outright INAPPROPRIATE. I also feel that it could set me up for looking bad or set me up for an accusation by either the family or someone visiting the home. Also if the agency were to visit unannounced, etc. Also if the patient were to turn up with an unexplained bruise or scratch I can imagine the mom now "Well the nurse gets into bed with the patient..."

I truly dislike when parents pull the "well the other nurses do it" card.

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