Was I mean?

Nursing Students Pre-Nursing

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There is one girl in my class who never comes to class because she works the night shift. I have walked up to her many times and spoken and she just smiles one of those "Do I have to do this" kind of smiles, but I speak anyway.

Well, today I walked up as I was waiting on class to start and she was sitting on a bench. I sat down on the other side and said hello. She gave the same smile as always.

A minute later, she had the nerve to ask me if I had the notes from Monday. I told her no. I know she stayed after class to talk to the instructor afterwards and I am sure she layed the pity party on him. I am not sympathetic for 2 reasons.

1. the way she acts on a regular basis

2. I put off going back to school for years because of that very same concern. I knew I would not have the drive to make it to class every day.

So, tell me, was I mean? I dont think so. I dont depend on everyone else because I dont feel like going to class, and I dont want to be used either.

If she came to class most days, but missed occasionally, I wouldnt mind. I dont mind helping those who try, nor do I mind helping a freind.

No, I do not think you are mean. I never let anyone borrow my notes. I do not trust I will get them back in time or that I won't need them to refer to during lecture. I also have a tendency to take notes that would confuse anyone that is not me. :lol2:

I learned not to give out your notes the hard way. At a previous college I was majoring in pre law. Was taking a very tough international law class taught by a professor that used to teach at Loyola. I had 1000+ pages of notes, graphs, and general information. This all had to be turned in at the end of the year as part of the final. A classmate asked me if she could borrow the book(as all these papers by then had become a JCPenney catalogue) and would bring it back to the next class. I said ok because I'm a pushover. She never returned it. I spent the last week of classes making new notes, copies of graphs, and everything else I had lost. No way could I replace what I lost. Turns out she's also the girl who would take out law books and hide them throughout the library so no one could do their research.

No, you were not mean. We are all adults. Everything we do has a consequence and your classmate needs to recognize that. You work hard, you come to class prepared. She should not be awarded for missing class or coming in late.

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Now I have the oppinion of a man. :idea: Thank you Kung Fu. I just wish I had that quick thinking. I wouldnt have had to have lied.

I think you should have said nothing and given her the ""do I have to do this"" smile right back.

:rolleyes:

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I am so sorry. Boy, I would have never thought someone could be so mean. Those kinds of people are the ones who give lawyers a bad name. I worked for 7 attys for 5 years and they definitly have ethics. They were great to work for and I miss those Christmas bonuses. I mean the first year I worked there, I nearly cried when one of them walked up and said Merry Christmas and laid my paycheck down. No wonder they dont have a big turnover in workers. There are some good attys out there.

I learned not to give out your notes the hard way. At a previous college I was majoring in pre law. Was taking a very tough international law class taught by a professor that used to teach at Loyola. I had 1000+ pages of notes, graphs, and general information. This all had to be turned in at the end of the year as part of the final. A classmate asked me if she could borrow the book(as all these papers by then had become a JCPenney catalogue) and would bring it back to the next class. I said ok because I'm a pushover. She never returned it. I spent the last week of classes making new notes, copies of graphs, and everything else I had lost. No way could I replace what I lost. Turns out she's also the girl who would take out law books and hide them throughout the library so no one could do their research.

No, you were not mean. We are all adults. Everything we do has a consequence and your classmate needs to recognize that. You work hard, you come to class prepared. She should not be awarded for missing class or coming in late.

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I am so sorry. Boy, I would have never thought someone could be so mean. Those kinds of people are the ones who give lawyers a bad name. I worked for 7 attys for 5 years and they definitly have ethics. They were great to work for and I miss those Christmas bonuses. I mean the first year I worked there, I nearly cried when one of them walked up and said Merry Christmas and laid my paycheck down. No wonder they dont have a big turnover in workers. There are some good attys out there.

Everyone has told me that law school is like that. People will steal books out of the library just so others can't do their research. Never thought anyone would actually do it.

I agree, contrary to popular belief there are ethical lawyers out there who went to law school to help others.

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Dont lend her notes. She is your classmate which means that she does not have to become your best friend. But remember, it really is none of your concern if she comes to class or not - it is your concern about you and you reaching your goals. Stay focused. No matter what level you are in in your education you will always see people who seem to take the easy way out. In the end, all that matters is that you do well.

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I have never expected a classmate to become my best friend. Her attendance is not my concern at all until I feel I am fixing to be used. I always try to be nice, even if someone isnt exactly nice to me. That is not expecting that person to become my friend. I have never really cared to have this perosn as a best friend, I assure you. If I am around someone who is in my class, I speak. That is the nice thing to do. How does it make people feel if you dont. It isnt too hard to say hello.

Dont lend her notes. She is your classmate which means that she does not have to become your best friend. But remember, it really is none of your concern if she comes to class or not - it is your concern about you and you reaching your goals. Stay focused. No matter what level you are in in your education you will always see people who seem to take the easy way out. In the end, all that matters is that you do well.
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You did the same as I would have done in the same situation. I bust my butt to show up to every class and am too busy keeping up with all of my responsibilities to worry about those who cannot bother to do the same.

*reading what I just wrote*

Okay, that sounds extremely harsh. I'm not a harsh person. I'm really a very nice person and would never actually say that to someone, but I have to admit I would be thinking it as I walk away.

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I wouldn't have given her my notes either. I have experienced that "look" before also. I don't know why people don't just say hi. I wouldn't have even sat down next to her. That said, I wouldn't hesitate help out my friends or even someone who asked nicely by giving them a copy of my notes (never the originals) if they missed a class. Last year, I missed a class to go trick-or-treating with my 1 year-old for the first time. Selfish, huh? Someone really nice actually taped the lecture with my recorder and copied her notes for me. I did the same for her when she had to miss because she had the flu.

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Sounds like she's trying to get through without having to do much. I work full-time and have a 1 year old daughter, but still make it to class EVERY single night I have to be there!!

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Specializes in med/surg, telemetry, IV therapy, mgmt.

TexasAngel. . .I don't know what put in your mind that you were mean to this person, you weren't. You know, I take classes in health information management. We get take home tests for my medical staff services class. There is one lady who started coming up to me in the lobby before classes and asking about questions on these tests. At first, I honestly told here that I hadn't even looked at the questions on the test. And, when she whipped out her copy and aggressively started asking questions and sucking up to me about how smart I seemed and how she thought I would know all the answers I got ticked off. I don't like people who manipulate. She actually bugged me just minutes before we went into class on the day the first test was to be handed in. You want to talk about mean. I looked at her and said in my manager tone, "I'm not sharing any of my answers with you." She just stared at me. I stared her down. Don't you know she's asked me two more times since then for answers! I give her my same reply. Mean or not, I'll be dog-goned if she's going to get a better grade than she deserves on my hard work! When people enable lazy people like this, it only dumbs down professions and makes it harder for other people who eventually end up having to work with them.

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Specializes in Looking for a career in NICU.

No, you weren't being mean. When people sign up for college, how they get to class is their problem, and shouldn't be someone else's b/c they overscheduled themselves.

The entire time I was in college, students that were equally as committed as me, I helped them in any way they asked. I never, ever let someone borrower my notes, but I would meet them in the library or someplace to make copies of them. You never know when you'll be sick and miss and need theirs

However, people that are always late, never come to class, when they asked for my notes? "I'm sorry, you'll have to talk to the professor". I make up some story that I write all of mine in shorthand :)

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I didnt ever really think I was mean, but I did hate to lie. I think I will handle it much like what you said next time though. Probably just explain that I dont lend out my notes. :wink2:

It really took me by surprise, because like I said, she rarely says a word. Maybe what I should have titled this was " Was I mean? I think not."

I went to the instructor the next morning before my other class and showed him just what I do to my notes, just in case she had said something about me not giving her my notes. I go through the book and pick points to add to my outline, and I told him there was no way I was going to give her my notes. He said he didnt blame me one bit. I do work very hard to make the grades I make. Like I said in a previous post, I bet she wont miss class like that when she gets in the program. She may as well start off doing things right now before things get really hard.

Thanks Daytonite.

TexasAngel. . .I don't know what put in your mind that you were mean to this person, you weren't. You know, I take classes in health information management. We get take home tests for my medical staff services class. There is one lady who started coming up to me in the lobby before classes and asking about questions on these tests. At first, I honestly told here that I hadn't even looked at the questions on the test. And, when she whipped out her copy and aggressively started asking questions and sucking up to me about how smart I seemed and how she thought I would know all the answers I got ticked off. I don't like people who manipulate. She actually bugged me just minutes before we went into class on the day the first test was to be handed in. You want to talk about mean. I looked at her and said in my manager tone, "I'm not sharing any of my answers with you." She just stared at me. I stared her down. Don't you know she's asked me two more times since then for answers! I give her my same reply. Mean or not, I'll be dog-goned if she's going to get a better grade than she deserves on my hard work! When people enable lazy people like this, it only dumbs down professions and makes it harder for other people who eventually end up having to work with them.
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