update

tothepointeLVN, LVN · Jun 7, 2008

Sometime you need to take time off to get a little perspective and working on your home life is just as important as working on your career.

Sure if you put off going to nursing school a year you'll be a year older but so what who are we competing with.

If I was competing with my highschool classmates then I've already lost as some of the ones I was "expected" to outperform have already gotten their phd's

Bicster · Jun 7, 2008

Sometime you need to take time off to get a little perspective and working on your home life is just as important as working on your career.

agreed, but one year turns into five before you know it. it becomes easier and easier to justify time off.

hotmama2be · Jun 7, 2008

hey ....

First time reading your post I am due to have my first in less then 2 weeks I am having a little girl, so I can relate to your decision to lay low until your daughter gets older and working on your marriage. It is hard to balance everything , I am jumping right into school after I have my little girl. Time is going against me I have bills to pay and family to support . My husband works so hard to keep us happy and healthy I just can't afford to see him run himself into the ground every day working 18 hrs:banghead: But we all need to do what is best for the time being !!!!

I wish you luck with your daughter and homelife / career!!!!

coolpeach · Jun 7, 2008

I understand wanting to take time off to be with your child. I waited until my youngest started 1st grade before I went back full time. Keep an eye on that chemistry. It often takes a while to get into a program and thats if you have finished ALL of your pre reqs and can already apply. If you come back in a year (Fall 2009) you will just be a few months from 2010. There will be a good chance your chem will expire prior to getting into a program and you will have to retake it (along with any other major science courses which have expired).

Good luck, and enjoy your baby.

3rdgenRN2B · Jun 7, 2008

Coolpeach, I think I was wrong about chem. I took it in spring 2006 so I think that it expires in 2011 (5years?)

Hotflashn · Jun 7, 2008

I am glad you found a peaceful resolution. As a mother and a wife who has repeatedly put my own career, goals and desires on the back burner in an effort to be there for my family (extended and immediate) over the years, I can tell you I wouldn't change a thing! Sure, I woke up one day and I was suddenly middle aged with a long list of goals I hadn't achieved, yet what I have done with my life with the people who mean most to me in the world is EVERYTHING. I don't go to bed with regrets! When my life comes to a close, or if it came to an end tomorrow, you can bet I would not think, "Darn, I missed out on more school!" But I would indeed regret the loss of my marriage or the irretrievable time with my children, had I felt I missed it.

Sacrificing? Sort of. But not really - hardly a sacrifice when those we love are gifts to us. More like postponing or trading. Instead, I see how lucky I have been, how blessed to even have an option! How lucky are we to have choices about our lives!?

Sometimes, over the years I have gotten irritated - it seems like everyone else and their needs come first. Or I wonder why I have to put my goals aside. Then I remember, that more often than not, having those people in my life was one of my goals! I wanted children! I wanted a partner to share this life with. Getting married and having a family was a goal. I am not going to just scratch it off as complete and go onto the next thing - though I am notorious for that. You can't do that with family!

I am a firm believer in following your heart. If your heart is calling you home right now, LISTEN. School will be there. Nursing will be there. There is no guarantee on relationships, though. When your heart calls you back to school, listen to that, too. At one point the call will be greater on one side, and then you know which way to go.

The longer I live this life the more I see that few things are truly "now or never," unless it is a choice. There are so many forks in the road - even if you can't see them from where you are standing. They're there. Now, go enjoy you little one and don't let your brain go to jello in the meantime.

Take care

3rdgenRN2B · Jul 3, 2008

OK, so I still have a year before I'm planning on going back to school and I'm already getting antsy and possibly feeling some regret. I know I'm doing the right thing by taking this time while my daughter's so young and the year is going to fly by. I know that this time in my daughters life is precious and it'll be great to be able to spend as much time as possible right now. I could use some additional words of encouragement that I'm doing the right thing...

PS-- even if I wanted to go bach to school this fall there's no way i could fit any of the necessary classes into my shedule (with work and the days my daughters signed up for daycare)

coolpeach · Jul 3, 2008

I can tell you that my life was a science experiment. I have two older boys who are 10 months apart, and when I had them I had to work, and they went to daycare. I wanted a girl, and tried and tried, but kept miscarrying. Finally many years later I had given up on having a baby. I had given away all my old baby stuff, using condoms, and throwing around the idea of a tubal. I then found out I was pregnant, and I had another little baby boy. I was so excited after having so many miscarriages that my husband, and I found a way for me to stay home full time. I knew this would be my last baby.

I have noticed differences over the years in regards to those life changes. I didn't bond as deeply with my older two sons as I did with my youngest. We were always together where the other two spent most days in daycare. I remember by the time they were in 3rd or 4th grade they were like "Don't hug me or say you love me in public, my friends will see etc". They also weren't as huggy etc at home. My youngest is 13, and asks me to come to his school. He will hug me in public, and say "I love you". He will say mom I need a hug all the time. Once when a boy in the carpool told me to "Hurry up", my son looked at him and told him "Don't you talk to my mom like that".

With the older two I was constantly having to say "No", spat their hand etc when they were home. As they got older I had to use other punishments such as time outs, spankings etc. With my youngest I have hardly had to get on to him ever. I usually just explain what I want and he generally does it. If he does do something wrong a stern look, and talking to generally has him bawling that he upset me, and apologizing. I think because I was home with him he never learned the bad behaviors at daycare. By the time he started 1st grade he knew enough not to do those behaviors at home. In addition, I had enough time with him while he was young to teach him right from wrong. He is a straight A student, his teachers love him, and he seems well adjusted, and we have a great relationship.

I love my older to, but they were much more difficult, and we do not seem as close. I think 90% of that was me not being home when they were little. Honestly they were raised by the daycare center pretty much.

I think you are doing the right thing. I know everyone can't always do it, but being home with your kids when their young can make all the difference. You will be closer, have less problems as they get older, and find out you have a better student, and a happy and better adjusted child.

Just DON'T let time go by,and forget about your dream of being a nurse.

dee78 · Jul 3, 2008

I understand completely. I was accepted into a nursing program back in 2002 but I was working fulltime, going through a divorce, had an infant and a toddler, and my living situation with my parents was not working out. I chose to decline the offer because I didn't want to fail.

So here I am 6 years later, taking A&P 1 over again. I guess I'm lucky, my school allows 10 years before you have to repeat. I've had another child since then and he is 3 1/2. I have to work fulltime and my husband is an over the road truckdriver so I can't depend on him to be home to watch the kids for me to go to school in the evenings. It was really hard on me to wait out those years when I couldn't feasibly go back to school. I didn't want to start and then stop again, I knew that nursing school wouldn't be possible until my baby started kindergarten. It was always in the back of my mind that my life was not complete. I felt that I wasn't living up to my potential. So I watched different websites and until I found out about a new online nursing program starting in my state. That's my ticket!!! So I get to start nursing school a year earlier than I had planned. It's great to finally see the wheels in motion, my plan is coming together and I am happier than I've been in a long time. I feel like my life is finally back on track.

Wow, this has turned into a long post. I just want you to know that I know how you feel. It is a roller coaster between doing what is best for your family and doing what your soul is leading you to do. Just remind yourself of your ultimate goal and you'll get through it.

3rdgenRN2B · Jul 4, 2008

I can tell you that my life was a science experiment. I have two older boys who are 10 months apart, and when I had them I had to work, and they went to daycare. I wanted a girl, and tried and tried, but kept miscarrying. Finally many years later I had given up on having a baby. I had given away all my old baby stuff, using condoms, and throwing around the idea of a tubal. I then found out I was pregnant, and I had another little baby boy. I was so excited after having so many miscarriages that my husband, and I found a way for me to stay home full time. I knew this would be my last baby.
I have noticed differences over the years in regards to those life changes. I didn't bond as deeply with my older two sons as I did with my youngest. We were always together where the other two spent most days in daycare. I remember by the time they were in 3rd or 4th grade they were like "Don't hug me or say you love me in public, my friends will see etc". They also weren't as huggy etc at home. My youngest is 13, and asks me to come to his school. He will hug me in public, and say "I love you". He will say mom I need a hug all the time. Once when a boy in the carpool told me to "Hurry up", my son looked at him and told him "Don't you talk to my mom like that".
With the older two I was constantly having to say "No", spat their hand etc when they were home. As they got older I had to use other punishments such as time outs, spankings etc. With my youngest I have hardly had to get on to him ever. I usually just explain what I want and he generally does it. If he does do something wrong a stern look, and talking to generally has him bawling that he upset me, and apologizing. I think because I was home with him he never learned the bad behaviors at daycare. By the time he started 1st grade he knew enough not to do those behaviors at home. In addition, I had enough time with him while he was young to teach him right from wrong. He is a straight A student, his teachers love him, and he seems well adjusted, and we have a great relationship.
I love my older to, but they were much more difficult, and we do not seem as close. I think 90% of that was me not being home when they were little. Honestly they were raised by the daycare center pretty much.
I think you are doing the right thing. I know everyone can't always do it, but being home with your kids when their young can make all the difference. You will be closer, have less problems as they get older, and find out you have a better student, and a happy and better adjusted child.
Just DON'T let time go by,and forget about your dream of being a nurse.

Thanks for your encouraging words but my daughter is in daycare (a very good one, more like a little school and less like babysitting) and I work full time... i wish i could be with her more. But at least by not being in school right now, i'm not studying in my spare time, i'm playing with her. This is why i didn;t go back. in fact, i'm exploring other career options that will allow me more time with my daughter... even more flexible than nursing! but we'll see...

Butterfliesnroses · Jul 4, 2008

OMG!!! I swear you've kinda described my story....I graduated from high school in 2003...Didn't have much money...my parents made enough to pay their bills but not foot my college bill...SO I took one or two classes at a time...BOOM got pregnant...quit going to school right before that cause I didn't know what I wanted...I've been with my daughter and enjoyed my pregnancy...My daughter is 8 months old now...Decided to go back to school...I'm enrolled for fall and realized nursing is truly what I WANT...I'm the breadwinner of the family...For a moment there when my SIL who started school at the same time I did graduated from her RN there I was so jealous and so disappointed...THEN I realized having a good pregnancy and enjoying the first (it will be 10 months when I go back to school) year or so is SO much more important to me than having a degree a few years ealier...The really nice thing is I'm going back with a year of pre-reqs to do...I can go back full time. SO that's awesome!!!