Hi everyone, I'm looking for a bit of advice and I want to vent. I've been married for 12 yrs now and have 4 awesome kids. This August I should have been enrolled in the Aug. 2012 nursing program
. However I put off nursing school because me and my husband have not been on good terms.
I refused to enroll in Nursing School with drama. Here is my background. 2001-2007 I worked as a PCA with no desire to become an RN. In 2007 I decided to become a daycare owner which I did however when the economy went belly up so did my business.
Depressed and upset I pondered what am I going to do. Nursing was far from my mind. Mind you I don't hate it at all. Eventually I decided to start my preq's. My oldest just started high school and I need to help my husband provide for our family and prepare for college for her and the other children.
My husband claims that I am a "quitter"/Failure' because he claims I don't complete what I start. I am so offended by his statement. By the way, he is referring to not keeping the daycare and finishing my Early Childhood Education degree and changing careers.
I will complete my Early Childhood degree once I finish the math course this semester, however I'm not registering to graduate. So in order to pursue Nursing I had to start over because none of Early Childhood Education credits went toward nursing.
Over the yrs I didn't notice how mentally and emotionally abusive my husband has been. He doesn't curse but he says things that make me feel uncomfortable with the things he says. He makes me second guess myself a lot. For example if 1+1=2 he would some how make feel that I'm wrong and the answer is 3. (I know right)
He is also the bread winner in the family and he always made me feel less than he was because he made X amount of dollars. I have ask for money and he questions me about what I did with it. On top of that now I'm a SAHM and I have NO money and I just want to leave him because I'm tired of the non-communication, his attitude, the disrespect that I endured for years, I'm just fed up.
For the pass year I've been trying to work on our marriage but to know avail it is working. I've done counseling before but it doesn't work if I'm the only one there. He said I was the one that was crazy and needed the help. He doesn't realize how I am slipping away. I know it's best for me to Divorce him I can't keep putting school off to fix this marriage.
My question is how am I going to do this? School. Working, Kids?
I'm trying to return to my former employer to work as a PCA for now. I have a plan set up on how much money I need, to apply for loans, to get assistance food stamps, and of course child support. I pray that if I can get all this I can work per diem so when I need a Nursing position I will already be employed by them.
Any divorce ladies out there or in the process of being divorce how are coping with school, work and kids? What help or support did you get or receive? Your responses is greatly appreciate.