I have to choose between being a nurse or mother!

  1. I was diagnosed with pcos in feb. 2011, moved here to texas. And was diagnosed with high bp, pcos, diabetes type 1, and just found out i may have fibroids also(family history of it) in september 2012. My OB told me that if either my cysts dont dissapear(sp) or i get pregnant in 3 months, that theres a strong possibility i will need a hysterectomy!

    ISSUES: I have a WONDERFUL job that is paying for me to go to nursing school. I wasnt planning on having another one til 2016-2017! Once i was done with the program and became an RN. AND I wasnt planning on having another one because even though I love him to death... Dh hasnt grown up yet. He's not a bad man at all, hes a wonderful father to one of my kids thats not even his(i have two girls 4 and 2). But to have another child right now would slow me down in school even though I'd be still doing my pre-reqs during and after baby. But to get pregnant right now would cause me to work less, and have to take a semester off for baby, and dh would have to work more hours. Which will be an issue because i make more than him(not nor ever rubbing it in his face) but its the truth. And idk what to do! To have someone tell you at the age of 24.5(lol) that i have to either have a baby now or not at all is scary and i havent done anything but cry since the news. I would LOVE to get pregnant right now(it would be dh and my second child with each other, and both our last child addition to our family) and not have to worry about having another one once i start my career.

    But i have to make a choice NOW, because once AF shows this weekend i have to start clomid and 21 day progestrone tests. OB gave me til after my 25th bday(december) for either a BFP or hysterectomy! Every woman on my side of the family had to have one and some were heartbroken some were happy. But i know i will be heartbroken. *sigh* im banging my head right now because im confused.
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    About luvmykids0810

    Joined: Jul '12; Posts: 41; Likes: 6


  3. by   Aspirational Beauty
    This sounds like a really tough decision. You are young still. I would say have another child if that is what you would like to do. You do still have time to go to school. This is one option. I am 27 single mom of one and work part time going to school full time and no husband,lol. If your husband is supportive of you pursuing your career he will probably be more than willing to help you out. Talk this out with him and ask him is he willing to pull some extra weight if you decide to have another lil one. Good luck in which ever route you choose.
  4. by   meanmaryjean
    Sounds like you need a second opinion. The OB says RIGHT NOW for a hysterectomy? Or what? You'll catch fire? Get a second opinion, please!
  5. by   Louisiana
    I agree , get a second opinion !!!
  6. by   kmlnielsen
    second opinion. I had a hysterectomy at an early age after 3 children. It's not always so cut and dry. You might love your doctor and have a great relationship, but it's well worth getting a new opinion and perspective.
    Last edit by kmlnielsen on Oct 2, '12 : Reason: typo
  7. by   gorjiss0415
    I agree as well but if it is true that you have to go through with it....I would say to go ahead and have the baby if that's what you want. If you want another child and you have to do it now. what other choice do you have? You can always go back to school. Just make sure that you do go back. Children tend to set things off for a looooong time. Trust me.
  8. by   thecatlady
    Go to nursing school and adopt a baby later! There are so many precious little ones that need a loving home!
  9. by   morte
    don't know about fibroids, but have you tried any treatments for the pcos?
  10. by   CT Pixie
    Before I let anyone do a hysterectomy on me I'd be getting a second opinion.
  11. by   mikimoto
    If after getting a 2nd opinion you still have to face this decision,
    consider your age. You are still young, you can slow down on your studies when you have your baby and get back on track af r a while.

    If this will put your sponsorship funds at stake (co will pullout sponsorship), forget what I wrote above and
    get back on reading your books.
  12. by   Streamline2010
    Go to nursing school. Two children are enough. Really. You might not think so now, but they are more demanding, more financial burden, and require more supervision to stay on the right track as they get older and peer pressure starts to influence them more than parents do. My mother had three children and worked full time. She definitely did the "second shift" thing all her life, running on only 5-6 hourse sleep at most, every night, for years. My sister has three kids, and her husband lost his job, cashed out and spent his retirement, is now morbidly obese, and he refuses to go back to work. He also does not do any of the household scutwork, ever. they have 3 kids in college now, and two mortgages she is paying on, their vehicles are rebuilt wrecks that my nephew bought at scrap yards and put back together, and my sister works a fulltime regular job as RN plus all the per-diem work she can get, and now all the weekend private-duty work she can get. She is the sole support of her family. Now, think about how much lighter her burden would be if she had stopped at 2 kids: One is 25 and almost out on his own, has skills to support himself if he needs to, and one that's 22 and almost done with college now.

    I have no kids, because I wasn't motivated when I was younger and then couldn't have any later. I am perfectly happy with that, LoL. But long before that, I took a good look at Mom and Sis and their grueling lives, and their husbands that didn't help much, and I said that I'm definitely going to be a None-To-One-And-Done kind of gal.
  13. by   Katie71275
    You need to get a second opinion pronto. I have PCOS and I feel your pain. I have to have infertility meds to get pregnant as well. We have 4 children. I will tell you that it is completey doable to have children and do nursing school at the same time.
  14. by   vintagemother
    Quote from Streamline2010
    Go to nursing school. Two children are enough. Really. You might not think so now, but they are more demanding, more financial burden, and require more supervision to stay on the right track as they get older and peer pressure starts ...al.
    As mom to 3 going thru a divorce, can I double like this comment!!!! if its meant to be, you will have chance to have more kids later. Don't stop your education to have kids with a man you already make more money than. When I was your age(8 years ago) I wouldn't have taken my own advice, but I plead with you to consider what those of us who have BTDT are saying!!