...I'm about to cry

[maryshome8]

I have got over the major hurdles...quit my job, moved back in with my father, my 2 year old daughter, selling my house in December, etc.

I started my pre-req's for a BSN...I had to take College Chemistry I, A Logic (Philosophy course...we do nothing but add A & B and see if it's true or not...extremely difficult course because we have a test every day) an Economics course...no texbook, just a bunch of online websites with so much info I can't print it all...extremely time consuming, and a Child Psychology course which normally wouldn't be a big deal other than the fact we have an exam every WEEK....he goes over a chapter one day, we have the exam the next...if he can't get through it, he pushes it back on us.

My tutor for my chemistry isn't showing up, and it took me 2 weeks to get one. I have my first Chem exam next week, and I have been lost since we started naming Chemicals, it's a ton of material for only 3 chapters...and I got a 70 on my last logic quiz...and we tested on material today that he never reviewed.

I spoke to my Dad about it today, who is helping me financially, he is 77, and his response? I'm not going to live forever.

I'm about to quit and go on welfare and give up on school...

[RebeccaJeanRN]

Hi Mary- wow...lots of frustrations!! Perhaps best to take into your own hands the babysitting search and accept the fact that your father, even with the 'health of a 50 year old', is not going to offer the support you hoped for and planned on, no matter what his original promises. If you stop expecting anything more from him, other than a roof over your head, then I hope you can stop being constantly frustrated by expecting him to be different than you already must know him to be. Also, I too once had a toddler and tried to juggle study time at the same time...you can do it- but it requires great organization in your life as well as planning for happy playful time with your daughter and helping her to meet new little friends (local park to play?). The problem, the way I see from the outside looking in, is that you are playing 'beat the clock' to finish as fast as you can, while you withstand living with your father as the price to pay and while trying to parent a young child. What stress! I do understand that (been there, done that...way back in time. and by the way, stop thinking that 37 is so old, I just got my RN at the tender young age of 49!), but you might benefit if you look at this as something that is going to take a LONG while (so its less stress to try not to think about it like a race or you'll burn out), accept that your father will probably not be the support you hoped, and keep in mind always that your daughter needs you too and these next few years of time with her can never be had again. You know, that old time-worn prayer might apply just about NOW...Lord grant me the courage to change the things that I can, the strength to accept the things that I can't, and the wisdom to know the difference.

[AZmom]

If you're living with your father, not working, and going to school......you might see if you qualify for some state aid -- health insurance for your daughter, WIC and/or foodstamps, daycare for your daughter, and possibly $$ for your schooling.

I'm also confused as to why you "have" to be taking courses in Philosophy and Economics. I can't imagine a school having those as mandatories, especially the Economics course as it has to do with business (I'd think). And Philosophy? I can see you having to take some sort Humanities or logical thinking general ed course, but does it have to be in Philosophy or could you have chosen something more simple?

If it's not too late, make an appointment with your advisor and see if you can switch some stuff around or even drop something. Hang in there!

[luvmy3kids]

I hope I don't sound rude or anything.... but why don't you try and find daycare for your daughter yourself, rather than leaving it up to your dad? I would want to personally be the one to meet and talk with someone taking care of my child anyway. Of course, he could help you as far as being a resource and all (finding your way around the area), but I wouldn't depend on him to do it all by himself.

You are only 37, the clock is not ticking just yet for you!!! There is plenty of time and you can only do what you can handle. If you have to retake a course or two because your load was too big, you will end up taking that much longer anyway.... right???

I would try and cut back, you are taking on a lot and it can't be good for you.

Good luck. Keep us updated! You can do it!!

[blingbling]

many prayers and hugs to you for trying to get to your goal..yes this is so difficult..no answers but i do understand.............

[sue421]

You can do it!!! Lighten the load a little. It's better to do good in one or two classes than do bad in all of them. never give up, no matter how tough it gets.

[smattles1of2]

If you need a chemistry tutor, I can help! I have a B.S. in Chemistry. You can email me anytime. I hope you are doing ok...

[ZASHAGALKA, RN]

Are you trying to get into an Accelerated BSN program?

Surely that would take less than 3 yrs. Those programs are only 14 months long and most are just getting started so the waiting lists aren't as intense and I'm sure they take into account the fact that some degrees are older.

~faith,

Timothy.

[DDRN4me]

(((((mary...not much advice but thought you could use a hug))))))

[WDWpixieRN, RN]

I agree that you need to take the bull by the horns and find daycare for yourself. Either through your college, or a church or asking others you trust. I AM a 50 year old woman and my 4 & 2 year old grandaughters make me crazy even when I'm wasn't in school. They're too much work at this young age and with him not being used to having a young one around constantly, it's got to be very difficult. It also makes them rather cranky (my father-in-law LOVED my kids but after a day with them even he got testy with older grandchildren), which could be why he seems less-than-supportive.

It really does sound like you have too much on your plate and I agree that speaking to an advisor would be wise, as well as consulting one where you plan on applying to NS. Economics doesn't make sense...I decided against going to an accelerated program here in town that required ethics, theology, nutrition and other courses that would prolong my application/acceptance and instead opted for an ASN course at a local community college I had attended before and loved.

Make sure you're making the right choices for you and your daughter as you take this journey. I think you're wise to do it while she's young, but don't make it anymore miserable for yourself than you absolutely have to.

And good luck!!

[lisabeth]

I guess you can tell, none of us is going to let you quit. :wink2: You can cry, and that can sometimes help a lot. I know, believe me. It will work out. You have lots of encouragement, and we all know you will make it.

[maryshome8]

If you're living with your father, not working, and going to school......you might see if you qualify for some state aid -- health insurance for your daughter, WIC and/or foodstamps, daycare for your daughter, and possibly $$ for your schooling.

I'm also confused as to why you "have" to be taking courses in Philosophy and Economics. I can't imagine a school having those as mandatories, especially the Economics course as it has to do with business (I'd think). And Philosophy? I can see you having to take some sort Humanities or logical thinking general ed course, but does it have to be in Philosophy or could you have chosen something more simple?

If it's not too late, make an appointment with your advisor and see if you can switch some stuff around or even drop something. Hang in there!

yeah....you are right about the Logic and Economics...this school (and I don't want to say the name b/c you never know who is reading the boards) has a brand new BSN program that they started only 2 years ago.

They added Logic and Economics as pre-reqs for NURSING..I have never seen a nursing program do this...that is in addition to my having to have Spanish for 2 semesters. I already had a BS and usually they don't make you go back and 'match' their pre-reqs, and this one did. there isn't another 4 year school within 2 hours of here.

The babysitting...i WISH I could get a daycare...I live (now) in one of the poorest cities in the NATION...the daycares here are so filthy that I wouldn't let them board a dog much less take care of a baby (nasty, dirty, smelly)...no church daycares, no other preschools, none at the college..so I'm trying to find a "grandma" that might want to make extra money per month taking care of her only 3 days per week.

I appreciate the support...but if I bomb this semester, I'm going to look at a CC for an ASN and do the BSN later online...

[WDWpixieRN, RN]

I'd definately look in to the ASN/ADN program at the CC.

I, too, already have a BS in MIS, but wasn't looking to move rapidly in to a management postion in nursing....I just want a good stable job where I can feel what I do in my career is truly making a difference, not just lining the investor's pockets while I slave away at salary expected to put in whatever unpaid overtime someone else's poor project planning mandates AND sit in fear everytime the next layoff happens, while they're bringing contractors by the ton for twice what I'm making. I am SO done with that.

There's so little difference initially between the two degrees, you owe it to yourself and your daughter and your dad to do this the best way that makes sense for your situation currently. While I looked in to programs locally, I aggravated over going the BSN route....my friend who's been an RN for over 20 years told me (since I'm 50) to go the easiet, quickest, and cheapest route. Since I wasn't ready to have this take a toll on my mental or physical health, ASN made the best sense financially and otherwise.

I truly wish you the best.