Obese children...my rant

[Gently.me]

Ok so child comes in with laceration to the hand. 12 years old, about 5'5'' and weighs 260lbs. Big boy. The MD who was suturing was not his PCP, just there to take care of the urgent task. As she wassuturing, the child keeps talking about how his "back always hurts" and how he is "so tired all the time". The MD, whom I love for her bluntness, looked him in the eye and said "it's because you are overweight". She did not say it in a mean way at all, just a fact.

At this time, mom jumps in and talks about how she has had two MI's before she turned 35, and cardiac problems run in the family. She wasnt just talking, it seemed like she was...bragging. The doc politely stated that if the family didnt get their act together and their health straighted out, they would not live to a healthy old age. Doc, finishes sutures, and I get to clean up.

The child states that he is hungry, and how he wants a salad (maybe the doc teaching hit home......). Mom freaks out and states "There is no way in h*ll I am paying for a salad at McDonalds!". I looked at her with mouth opened, and left the room.

I understand that many children are obese due to health issues, and I understand that obesity is a tough matter to discuss. In my opinion however, this mother is killing her child and I am so sick and tired of this BS!!!

Sorry about the rant.... but I am so mad about this!!!

[samirish]

You would think, as a parent, if you had a child that was obese you would be thankful and excited that the kid even asked for a salad in the first place. For her to just flat out refuse him like that, she's pretty much conditioning him to eat crap. Thats just inexcusable and lazy. Period.

[samirish]

And let's not forget that obese children too often become obese adults. Then they come into our ER's at 600 lbs because they are short of breath. Shocker. And we have to have 3 people holding up their belly fat (while trying not to breathe because the odor is so horrible) while the doc tries to dig around for their member, which is buried in all of their fat, in order to place a foley. (This just happened the other night). Forgive me, I know I signed up for this job, but I just feel like they are a huge burden on us. I know often it stems from a psych issue, but I cannot help but resent it. There is no way people like this can hold down a job. They cannot even move enough to get around their homes. So it's not that big of a leap to assume they are on food stamps, Welfare, Medicaid, etc. So let's be real people, WE are paying for their horrific lifestyles, as well as the honor of holding up their rolls of fat. This just sickens me to no end. And I apologize if I've offended anyone.

I've always wondered..how in the world does someone let themselves get like that?? I mean c'mon! They must know they are killing themselves. I've got to say, it does make me believe food can be a real addiction. Is it really so different then the meth addict or heroin addict shooting up 12 times a day? I also agree, society in general should not have to support this kind of behavior. If a person is gonna kill themselves, well I can't stop you but don't make me and my family pay for it too.

[Horseshoe, BSN, RN]

i was also watching a talk show a while ago(can't remember which one) and the topic was obese children. they showed this 8 year old boy who was pushing 280lbs and he would eat a whole(adult size) rack of ribs and be ready for more. the mother would say no and the child pitched a fit. i find a lot of these obese children kick, scream and pitch fits if they don't get the food they want when they want it. they also showed a 4 year old girl who was in the upper 100's who would eat fried chicken, bbq type food(mac and cheese, pulled pork sandwiches pretty much anything you can find at a bbq style restaurant). again this little girl would pitch fits if she didn't get her food when she wanted it...and she would want second and third helpings of whatever was being served(they were showing home videos of these kids eating and throwing fits). it's amazing how much these obese kids can eat, they can eat the amount of food that's fit for a family of five, not for one person. i think i would vomit if i even ate half the amount of food these children just wolf down like it's a snack.

i've seen children like this on talk shows or read about them. this doesn't sound like the typical overweight child who just eats too much junk and sits around watching tv or playing on the computer. it sounds like there is a physical problem here related to the satiety centers in the brain, or possibly something off with the leptin process. eating such large amounts without an ability to ever find satisfaction is a pathology, imo, rather than gluttony and really screams for professional intervention. i don't know that a parent could handle that problem without significant support.

[country mom]

http://healthyamericans.org/report/88/

It's the RWJ Foundation annual report on obesity in America, if you're interested in reading up on the subject. They cover racial,ethnic disparities, geographical disparities, culture, food availability. It makes for interesting reading.

[leslie :-D]

I've got to say, it does make me believe food can be a real addiction. Is it really so different then the meth addict or heroin addict shooting up 12 times a day? I also agree, society in general should not have to support this kind of behavior. If a person is gonna kill themselves, well I can't stop you but don't make me and my family pay for it too.

i fully believe that food is an addiction, for the morbidly obese.

we all know food is a pleasure of life.

to completely grab for something (whether it's etoh, shopping, gambling, EATING) in order to fill that endless, black hole, is indeed powerful and hard to quit.

you really do need therapy in order to work through what caused the void/pain in the first place.

that takes courage and work.

while i do agree that it affects us as well, my human side can't help but feel that if the addict wants to quit, that we provide resources, support, and patience.

where i do become less patient, is when the obese adults, are passing it on to their children.

honestly, i cannot help feeling a tad judgmental...

it's a devastating epidemic because of human weakness, but even moreso...

it's the damned strategizing from media and marketing, that entice us to eat something so unhealthy, while the lbs pile on.

add the media/marketing as guilty for video/computer games that keep one glued to tv et al.

all these folks are making millions/billions off us, while we end up killing ourselves.

there is too much temptation around us...

and little education.

now, what are we going to do about THAT?

leslie

[Indy, LPN, LVN]

My family has the genetics to be: fat, for the females they are usually really fat after 3 or so babies, have heart disease, kidney problems, arthritis, high cholesterol, etc.

My immediate family has undergone an interesting change over the last ten years or so. When the girls were little, I made their own baby food, and we had a very tight budget so there was no budget for sweets and such. Three squares and a light snack, and we didn't have large portions because we were broke! They ate what they were given and never did I hear them pitching fits, because it wouldn't have done any good.

We divorced and each of us wound up with custody of a child. I was so broke for several years, and I know it's a challenge not eating a lot of carbs on a teensy budget, but there are ways to get your protein and veggies without breaking the bank. (Hint: There was a lot of brown rice.) When my youngest hit puberty and came home one day and ate a half loaf of bread, I knew we had a problem. So I went to home depot, bought a chain, and a master lock with a key, put the bread and a few other items in the fridge, and locked it. For a year. Until she learned portion control again.

My oldest was allowed to have a liter of soda with dinner, whenever she wanted. There was a lot of macaroni consumption in her dad's household. Well ten years later we have a 130 pound 5'2" muscular daughter, and a 200 pound 5'2" daughter. My ex stopped telling me his weight when he hit 300 pounds. I am holding at 130 pounds and not quite five feet. Now that I'm no longer broke we eat better, but still remember how to cook healthy food.

The picture this paints is simple to me, that parenting properly requires work and discipline. And no, it ain't easy. But it's really worth it.

[planteater]

But, here's the thing. Those parents that you are judging are often products of how they were raised too. Someone has to stop judging, stop saying things like "just stop overeating" or "I overcame this- you should be able to also" and actually see these people as people....who are in pain, who need education and support, who need to be taught how to eat healthy on a dime (because it seems cheaper to buy the junk when you don't know any better), who need emotional and psychological support, who need help with time management because many are very stressed and overworked and do not feel they have time to make meals, who were once innocent children that never learned how to be healthy, etc. I agree with the poster above- it is hard to do the right thing when parenting, but it is worth it. And, when confronted with parents who are not willing or able to do the right things, we need to do our best to educate and help the children directly and break the cycle.

[Not_A_Hat_Person, RN]

This topic is a huge pet peeve of mine. These children are being set up for so many emotional problems, bullying in school and long term medical problems and a good percent of the cases CAN be prevented if the parents step up to the plate.

Kids are bullied for a lot of reasons. How do you know that they aren't fat because of emotional problems caused by bullying? Do fat kids deserve to be bullied?

As you can probably tell, this struck a nerve with me. I was a fat kid. I'm now a fat adult. My parents didn't serve much junk, but they didn't know how to cook much of anything. Mom didn't believe in peeling carrots. Vegetables usually came from a can. I battled depression (and still do). Even when I was very active, walking 5-6 miles a day (I lived in the boondocks without a car), I was still fat.

In my Weight Watchers years, I heard a lot of people say they like vegetables now, but they didn't like the way their parents served them. It's easy to hate vegetables when they're only served from a can. One leader described with amazement the first time she ate broccoli that wasn't either completely limp or drowned in cheese sauce.

Plenty of thin people eat processed food (which is anything that isn't either raw or straight out of the ground), simple carbs, and other unhealthy foods. They don't exercise enough. You don't notice most of them, because they aren't fat. Whole Foods sells just as much junk as Aldi, it just costs a lot more (there's a reason it's called Whole Paycheck).

Everyone has their problems; some are more visible than others. Do you think fat kids don't realize they're fat? Do you think their parents don't know they're fat (okay, some don't)? Parenthood is hard enough without people judging you because your kid is fat.

[~Mi Vida Loca~RN, ASN, RN]

Kids are bullied for a lot of reasons. How do you know that they aren't fat because of emotional problems caused by bullying? Do fat kids deserve to be bullied?

As you can probably tell, this struck a nerve with me. I was a fat kid. I'm now a fat adult. My parents didn't serve much junk, but they didn't know how to cook much of anything. Mom didn't believe in peeling carrots. Vegetables usually came from a can. I battled depression (and still do). Even when I was very active, walking 5-6 miles a day (I lived in the boondocks without a car), I was still fat.

In my Weight Watchers years, I heard a lot of people say they like vegetables now, but they didn't like the way their parents served them. It's easy to hate vegetables when they're only served from a can. One leader described with amazement the first time she ate broccoli that wasn't either completely limp or drowned in cheese sauce.

Plenty of thin people eat processed food (which is anything that isn't either raw or straight out of the ground), simple carbs, and other unhealthy foods. They don't exercise enough. You don't notice most of them, because they aren't fat. Whole Foods sells just as much junk as Aldi, it just costs a lot more (there's a reason it's called Whole Paycheck).

Everyone has their problems; some are more visible than others. Do you think fat kids don't realize they're fat? Do you think their parents don't know they're fat (okay, some don't)? Parenthood is hard enough without people judging you because your kid is fat.

I think you have a bit of misdirected anger. I never said fat kids deserved to get bullied. I don't feel ANYONE deserves to get bullied. But fat kids WILL get bullied. So why not help your children have one less hardship to face in school. School can be hard enough with kids, why set them up that way when it's usually something you can prevent by feeding your children better and keeping them active. Then what's going to happen, the child is going to go to school and get bullied, then come home and eat more to comfort from the bullying and it's a never ending cycle. I have seen a great amount of obese children before they even hit school. These kids are going to have so many problems in school that will effect them for the rest of their lives. I see so many parents that obviously know their kids are fat but see nothing wrong with it. They do nothing to help their child. Of course the child knows. I don't blame the children.

Unless it's a medical reason or some normal childhood chub that a lot of kids go through, especially prepubescent age then yes I absolutely think the parents or caregivers are the problems.

When I have a post surgical 8 year old that weighs 165 lbs and has high blood pressure that is higher then a lot of adults and a lot of other health problems stemming from being overweight and mom and dad are bringing him in crap food and 20 oz bottles of Mtn. Dew you're damn right I have a problem with it.

IMO it's a form of abuse. If you were to not feed your kids you would be in trouble for neglect. But you can overfeed your kids and instead kill them slowly while also adding to a lot of psychological problems and it's perfectly acceptable. At some point people need to accept responsibility.

As you can see this strikes a nerve with me too.

[anotherone, BSN, RN]

Maybe his back hurt for a different reason. Plenty of people, doctors included, blame obesity and fat on any issue when there may be some other reason, even if being fat is a contributing factor. Although 200+ lbs on any frame will lead to pain I am sure.

[anotherone, BSN, RN]

"It's so easy to talk about it and it is so not easy to do it."

Okay, please note that I'm not picking on you, I'm just focusing on this sentence, which I've heard many many times.

SO WHAT if it's not "easy." Who ever got the idea that raising kids properly would ever be "easy?" It's NOT easy to do the right thing, whether that means feeding our kids healthy food in the presence of tantrums, advertising, and ease of poor alternatives, or expecting kids to help with chores, do their homework, adhere to curfew, whatever. It's NOT easy to raise healthy, productive citizens, but no one ever promised us it would be easy. Let's not do what's EASY, let's do what is RIGHT and BEST for our kids, and I can promise you that feeding our kids CRAP and giving in to tantrums demanding junk food, sedentary lifestyles, and the power to make decisions for the family is NOT doing what is right for our kids.

Let's not go for easy, let's go for what's best for our kids-and trust me, whether they are 2 years old or ten, they do NOT know what's best for them. That's our job, and it is NOT "easy" to figure out and enforce. If we're not up to the job, fine, admit it, and just don't have kids. Being a parent is not for the faint of heart!

Same for adults. Being 5'6 and a size 4 is not easy or good genetics or any of that. not for me. It was about diet restricting and a lot of exercise. Not easy at all.

[anotherone, BSN, RN]

"I just wish I could stop all of the binge-eating I do after she goes to bed. She busted me the other morning because I didn't throw away the Ben and jerry's container!"

If you don't buy it, you can't eat it. Believe me, even as a lifelong thin person, I understand the late night binge. I cannot keep shredded cheese and tostada chips or even triscuits in the house, or I will be eating those at midnight while watching Jersey Shore reruns (blushes heavily).

You CANNOT eat what you don't have, so just don't buy Ben and Jerry's.

Yep. I really think some people are addicted to food. It is a very cheap addiction and a pretty safe one. (no strolling through an underpass at 3am for donuts). It is really about self control. Yes, I know some people don't even have the urge or therefore the need to even control anything.