Youngest labor patient?

prinzessdy · May 5, 2004

I saw this post and just had to reply. The youngest pt I saw was 14yrs and it was me. I remember walking into the hospital (L&D) and the nurses and pts was giving me mixed looks. some was sympathy and some was disgust. It was understandable because I looked like I was maybe 11, 106 lbs at del. A midwife took me thru prenatal care and del my baby and she was great, infact she inspired me to become a midwife. She gave me words of encouragement and plenty of statistics that I will never forget. Now I have been in college for 4 and 1/2 years ( 2 years wasted on pre med, which was not for me, and 2 years doing pre reqs for nursing) I knew at the age of 14, that I wanted to be a midwife and it was all because of her. So when young girls (children) come in pregnant, pleaasse dont talk down to them and show them the sympathy that you would a regular child but not to much. the feelings are very detectable. I knew whe a nurse thought that I was a lost child and it made me feel bad. Your words and actions mean so much to that child. I promise it will make some sort of impact on their life. Thanks Pam GlennCNM

allnurses Guide · May 5, 2004

Had an 18 year old recently. Mom in jail for drugs. Dad out of the picture. The 18 year old admitted to at least 8 partners in the last year. Had copious veneral warts. Was mean and angry and rude to the nurses. Married the supposed father of the baby. That poor baby.

Had another girl come in who was 20. Her boyfriend is recently divorced from another woman who has his kids. Not sure if he is the father of this baby. DNA testing being requested by the police because there is a possibility the FOB is 15 . .so she could be arrested for rape.

Where is that deserted tropical island and when can my kids and I leave? :rolleyes:

steph

MaggieJo · May 5, 2004

hmm.... I saw this post and thought over and over how I needed to respond. I was that young labor patient that many of you are talking about, and I think that the majority of you are probably very good L&D nurses, so don't take offense to what I am about to say.

I think that a lot of you are forgetting the patient. All of these "what's the world coming to" type of posts really bother me. Have you ever looked at that little girl that's laboring, and wondered how she got in that hospital bed? Sometimes---especially with the very young ones---the girl is not there because she wants to be, or because "being pregnant is romanticized." I would guess that a lot of them have been sexually assaulted. Did you know that the statistics now are 1 in 3 women will be sexually assaulted in their lives. Just think about it. What would make a 12 year old girl want to have sex!? She's not matured physically enough for sex to be pleasurable. It is probably extremely painful for her.

So, before you start to judge these teenage girls that come to your unit, just ask yourself "What has this girl been through?" And, so what if she is the stereotypical "I want to be pregnant" teenager? It's still your duty, as her nurse, to be her support while she's in labor. Because I assure you that your attitudes towards her do come across, and they DO make a difference -good or bad. I am junior nursing student in a BSN program because of the excellent RN that I had while I was in labor with my daughter. This woman is a lot of the reason that I'm not going to become another statistic. Census was down at the hospital, and I was her only patient. She sat with me the majority of the time that I was in labor, and encouraged me to make something of myself, and to not let my circumstances become what defined me.

So, to make this post a little bit shorter, I just wanted to share with ya'll. I'm not trying to step on people's toes, I just want you to understand the kind of impact that you could possibly have on one of those girls. At least be a kind face to her, because she's getting the lectures, stares, etc... everywhere that she turns.

-Maggie

fergus51 · May 5, 2004

hmm.... I saw this post and thought over and over how I needed to respond. I was that young labor patient that many of you are talking about, and I think that the majority of you are probably very good L&D nurses, so don't take offense to what I am about to say.
I think that a lot of you are forgetting the patient. All of these "what's the world coming to" type of posts really bother me. Have you ever looked at that little girl that's laboring, and wondered how she got in that hospital bed? Sometimes---especially with the very young ones---the girl is not there because she wants to be, or because "being pregnant is romanticized." I would guess that a lot of them have been sexually assaulted. Did you know that the statistics now are 1 in 3 women will be sexually assaulted in their lives. Just think about it. What would make a 12 year old girl want to have sex!? She's not matured physically enough for sex to be pleasurable. It is probably extremely painful for her.
So, before you start to judge these teenage girls that come to your unit, just ask yourself "What has this girl been through?" And, so what if she is the stereotypical "I want to be pregnant" teenager? It's still your duty, as her nurse, to be her support while she's in labor. Because I assure you that your attitudes towards her do come across, and they DO make a difference -good or bad. I am junior nursing student in a BSN program because of the excellent RN that I had while I was in labor with my daughter. This woman is a lot of the reason that I'm not going to become another statistic. Census was down at the hospital, and I was her only patient. She sat with me the majority of the time that I was in labor, and encouraged me to make something of myself, and to not let my circumstances become what defined me.
So, to make this post a little bit shorter, I just wanted to share with ya'll. I'm not trying to step on people's toes, I just want you to understand the kind of impact that you could possibly have on one of those girls. At least be a kind face to her, because she's getting the lectures, stares, etc... everywhere that she turns.
-Maggie

Um YEAH, I've thought that. Did I forget to mention that the step dad was the father of the 12 year old's baby? Hello, statutory rape! Authorities get called and social services gets involved. We don't take these things lightly, believe me. It is haunting and something that will stay with me until the day that I die.

But to pretend that some teenagers don't romanticize the notion of childbearing is just being unrealistic. I have seen it. I've had a teenage mom just gushing over the fact that this baby will increase her paycheck and she can still go to school and her and the dad can get married and the baby will be so cute and he'll look after it while she goes to university and her friends are all so jealous! A year later, things look a little different for most. It's still possible to go to university and get married and have a great life, but that doesn't mean we should pretend it will be easy. Having a baby at 14 will make things a lot harder. That's the reality.

I don't lecture or anything (cause it's too late once they are pregnant and that isn't my job), but I do think societal attitudes do need to change in an effort to prevent these pregnancies in the first place.

border rn · May 5, 2004

hmm.... I saw this post and thought over and over how I needed to respond. I was that young labor patient that many of you are talking about, and I think that the majority of you are probably very good L&D nurses, so don't take offense to what I am about to say.
I think that a lot of you are forgetting the patient. All of these "what's the world coming to" type of posts really bother me. Have you ever looked at that little girl that's laboring, and wondered how she got in that hospital bed? Sometimes---especially with the very young ones---the girl is not there because she wants to be, or because "being pregnant is romanticized." I would guess that a lot of them have been sexually assaulted. Did you know that the statistics now are 1 in 3 women will be sexually assaulted in their lives. Just think about it. What would make a 12 year old girl want to have sex!? She's not matured physically enough for sex to be pleasurable. It is probably extremely painful for her.
So, before you start to judge these teenage girls that come to your unit, just ask yourself "What has this girl been through?" And, so what if she is the stereotypical "I want to be pregnant" teenager? It's still your duty, as her nurse, to be her support while she's in labor. Because I assure you that your attitudes towards her do come across, and they DO make a difference -good or bad. I am junior nursing student in a BSN program because of the excellent RN that I had while I was in labor with my daughter. This woman is a lot of the reason that I'm not going to become another statistic. Census was down at the hospital, and I was her only patient. She sat with me the majority of the time that I was in labor, and encouraged me to make something of myself, and to not let my circumstances become what defined me.
So, to make this post a little bit shorter, I just wanted to share with ya'll. I'm not trying to step on people's toes, I just want you to understand the kind of impact that you could possibly have on one of those girls. At least be a kind face to her, because she's getting the lectures, stares, etc... everywhere that she turns.
-Maggie

I think perhaps you missed the point of what I wrote. I said that even though I have my own opinion I DO NOT let it show in how I treat my patients They have made a choice and now they are living with it. I think that it is so very unrealistic though to say that pregnancy is not romanticized. It is I see it everyday, things will be so wonderful, my baby will be so perfect ect.... It is a tough world out there and good for you for making something of yourself. It is tough raising kids and going to school and working. I know, I left my husband who was abusive and went back to nursing school with a one year old and a two year old in tow. I applaud the fact that you are doing something with your life. Just don't be so unrealistic about what others are doing in this world. Some of these moms are in fact abused and it is a horrible horrible thing, but some some exactly what they wanted someone to love, and now they have it whether the Dad is around or not. Good luck with your studies!

SmilingBluEyes · May 5, 2004

If you read this thread in its entirety, MaggieJo, you will see RIGHT HERE nurses ABSOLUTELY TORTURED by contemplating WHAT got these girls we discuss in their situations. We (their caregivers) DO look into their haunted eyes, and we feel endless compassion and sadness in the tragic cases. And in cases that are not tragic, NO ONE here is putting down teen moms in general. But I have to agree with those who say, in MOST cases, people under 18 are NOT ready to take on parenting and ALL it involves. Their bodies are NOT well-developed at 13, 14 and the problems early teen pregnancy can cause long-term are still being studied.

Is that the same as saying ALL teens are not ready? No, but most are simply biologically and emotionally immature yet. That is a fact, not a judgement against teens. I have had teen moms tell me they had their babies so "someone will love me unconditionally". THAT I find SAD, not something to celebrate. FEW teenaged moms, especially under 16, REALLY plan carefully for a family and know what they are in for in starting one so young. Some rise to the occasion and do well; but most would fail miserably without really GOOD support systems helping them. And many more lack any real support at all and are left to struggle raising these babies. And, What about these kids born? Do THEY not deserve the best start? See what we are burdened with as caregivers in dealing with certain situations?

I have had young moms write me letters, telling me the impact I had on their lives as their nurse, so I am aware EVERY day how I care for people, ALL people, makes a HUGE difference in their birth experiences and their lives. I think you will find that is true of the majority of caregivers having this discussion here.

Anyhow, MaggieJo, please re-read this thread and you will see we (nurses/caregivers) have asked these questions you ask of us, over and over. We have seen horrific situations that shatter us, breaking our hearts deeply. It hurts us more than you know to see the truly tragic cases we do each day and it takes all we have within us not to let it destroy our morale or harden us. We are traumatized by some things we see--- far beyond your understanding, unless you do this every day like we do.

Maybe you can have some understanding for OUR position some? I think that is a reasonable request. No one need get defensive here, we are not judging YOU as a person, or teen moms for that matter. Have a good day, now.

border rn · May 5, 2004

If you read this thread in its entirety, Maggie, you will see nurses ABSOLUTELY TORTURED we are by contemplating WHAT got these girls we discuss in their situations. We DO look into their haunted eyes (some of them) and we feel endless compassion and sadness in the tragic cases. NO ONE here is putting down teen moms, but I agree, in MOST cases, people under 18 are NOT ready to take on parenting, they just are NOT! Is that ALL teens? No, but most.
Anyhow, please re-read this thread and you will see we have asked these questions you ask of us, over and over. It hurts us more than you know to see the truly tragic cases we do each day and it takes all we have within us not to let it destroy or harden us.
Maybe you can have some understanding for OUR position some?

Well said!!

MaggieJo · May 6, 2004

I have read the thread in its entirety. I have kept up with it since it started. Maybe you should re-read my post. I wasn't being defensive, and I wasn't trying to make you defensive. I just want people to understand that YES, judgements do come across. And SmilingBlueEyes, don't tell me that you see things that are far beyond my understanding. I live with memories that might be far beyond your understanding. If you would re-read my post, I didn't say that all teenage pregnancies are the result of abuse, or even that some teenagers don't try to become pregnant, but that is not your job to decide who is what. I'm not here to advocate for teen pregnancy at all. As someone that has experienced it, I KNOW the difficulty that arises from it. I live with it every day of my life. The point of my post, which maybe I should have made more clearly, is that society does NOT romanticize teen pregnancy. You need to have genuine care for these girls. I was ostracized, had to endure stares, and comments from total strangers, because they were "doing society good" by their comments. My case is not isolated; this is the norm. I don't understand exactly what you want society to do to these girls. Life is hard enough. Anyway, yes, your responses to me did make me defensive. This is something that is deeply personal to me. Therefore, I'm not going to reply again to this thread because I don't want to make this a debate. I know that this is a board for you to come to without having to feel badly for your opinions.

-Maggie

MishlB · May 6, 2004

We have 12 and 13 year olds quite often. In fact, I believe our county rates the highest percentage of

fergus51 · May 6, 2004

I didn't say that all teenage pregnancies are the result of abuse, or even that some teenagers don't try to become pregnant, but that is not your job to decide who is what
The point of my post, which maybe I should have made more clearly, is that society does NOT romanticize teen pregnancy.

I just had to reply to these 2 points. In general it is not our place to figure out how a grown woman got pregnant. It is our place to find out in the instance of minors if we are concerned about abuse. We are legally required to report child abuse, and a step father impregnating his 12 year old step daughter qualifies.

Perhaps society doesn't romanticize teen pregnancy, but a lot of teens sure do. I don't know where else they get the ideas from.

SmilingBluEyes · May 6, 2004

In case you do return, let me say I am sorry you are upset, Maggie. But you contributed to making it a debate in the way you voiced your response to the thread. That is ok with me. We can debate without being angry with each other can't we?

Let me say, I CAN say with fair certainty you don't know what it's like us for unless you are in our positon as nurses. If I understand correctly, you are not yet. It's hard for nurses (and social workers, doctors and others), to see so many tough cases come and know we can DO NOTHING to help other than be there for our patients when they are in our care. It hurts knowing the hellish situations they and their babies go home to in so many cases. Knowing we can do NOTHING to help beyond this is so frustrating, you can't believe it.

And I am sorry to have to disagree with you but---- In some segments of society, teen pregnancy IS romanticized---I can say this with absolute veracity, because I hear what is said and see the friends visiting, half of them pregnant themselves. I can hear them making statements like "Oh isn't this gonna be so fuuuuuuuuuun, we are all gonna be moms together". At 14 and 15, this is hard for me to hear, yes I admit. FUN? They have NO idea what they are in for when the babies are here and the work they are in for. yet, I have seen this so many times I can't count. I don't think they see it as seriously as it is until they begin the lifelong struggle to raise these babies they are having. It's almost like a "club" for some of them, I swear. That is NO exaggeration.

Am I saying ALL teens are this cavalier and immature? Again, I say no. But to say teen pregnancy is NOT romanticized is simply untrue. It IS by many, and it is SAD. Heck even some parents act like it's one big joke or party. I become nauseated when some "mom" thinks it's oh- so- cute to see her 13 year old daughter giving her a grandbaby. If that makes me judgemental, ok then so indict me. I won't argue with you on that one.

Do I treat teen moms any differently than older ones? No,--- only if they are especially needy and then, I do ALL I can to be there for them. Trust me when I say, NO judgemental attitude comes from me when I care for them. I would NOT do that to people in as vulnerable position as they are under my care. I would daresay most nurses here would tell you the same thing.

One more point I have to address, Maggie: For you to say nurses treating teen moms badly is the "norm" is a rather generalized statement without justification, as least from where I sit, as an experienced RN. I have worked as an OB nurse for 7 years in 3 different clinical/hospital settings and this is FAR from true in any of the places I worked. I never witnessed a nurse (or doctor/midwife, for that matter), being rude, uncaring, cold or judgemental towards these younger moms. I honestly never have. If you are going to make a point, please, at least do not generalize this way. This automatically can put some on the defensive and contributes nothing to productive dialogue.

Take care now, and again, sorry if you are upset MaggieJo, but I stand by what I said here. Debate is NOT a bad thing, you know, as long as we can be respectful and not attack each other. I am in no way attacking you, I hope you realize. But, When you are a fulltime nurse, you may see it a bit differently. Time will tell but you are not there, yet.

Kyriaka · May 6, 2004

Maggie,

I can understand your sensitivity in regards to nurses making judgements. I remember when one of my sons was born (they both are no longer living) with a giant occipital encephlocele--the largest on record at that time-12 lbs. He was able to have a shunt but we had to take him back when it did not work right.

Most of the nurses knew us but there were a few new ones.

I remember being in the room and getting glares from the staff one evening. If looks could kill...Finally one of the nurses came over and with hands on her hips asked in a very ugly manner, "how did this happen?". I looked at her strangely because he was born without a skull in the back. Born that way. How it happened no one could say. I finally said he was born needing a shunt. The nurse said, "sure he was".

I had been confused with the abusive mother down the hall whose child needed a shunt due to shaken baby syndrome.

Judgements sometimes are very very wrong.