Awww, I feel for you timidgirl; I believe that you and I are cut from the same cloth. I too HATE confrotation and avoid it at almost any cost. Needless to say, I did NOT get the ER position I applied for as a desperate new grad three years ago...thank God!!! Can you imagine? It would have been horrible! Instead...I was drawn to the NICU - all those quiet, premature babies, carpeted floors, and that dim, shaded lighting with the welcoming blue glow of a room full of bili lights...
A perfect fit...unfortunately, the unit where I landed my first job was anything but calm! Imagine screaming practitioners racing off to surprise deliveries, codes, self-extubations, bloody syringes dropping on hard, dirty, linolium...and me - ME calling pharmacy,lab, or the practitioners for the THIRD time about their most recent screw-ups! Compete craziness!
My point is this: I was once told in my nursing school clinicals that I would end up in peds due to my quiet, shy, and understanding personality (true), BUT I was also told that nursing WILL change my personality (also true) because at times its fast-paced nature demands
confrontation. Honestly, I was frightened at the thought of my nursing career forcing, if not even requiring, confrontation as well as it acutally changing
my personality. However, it has made me a stronger, more confident, more independent individual, and I do not regret it. That being said, I would still LOVE to find a quieter NICU or find a nice clinic job better suited for "our" personality.
Btw, if you're ok with giving up the whole "ICU/ER experience," check out step-down units (including Level II NICUs if you like infants). Don't worry, I know you will rise to the challenge.
Feel free to pm me.