What are some of the most ridiculous things patients have asked of you?

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what are some of the most ridiculous or outrageous things patients have asked of you? i am nurse one of two nurses with 4 patients the other night in delivery. place was hopping. i answered the light of one of the other nurses patients, who was a very immature primip (married), whom we were certain, at some point, due to her clinical picture, was going to be a c/s. she wanted to make certain i knew how to detach her from the monitor and help her to the bathroom. no problem. however, not two minutes after i had left the room, she rang again and began yelling. her nurse was busy (did i mention we had 3 other patients in active labor?) so i went in, expecting some sort of major problem. she asked me to scratch her ass...in those words, exactly...i was taken aback and she had to have noticed my facial expression as she quickly countered that she couldn't reach and her husband, who was wide awake next to her, didn't want to do it....i am ashamed to say that i did put on some gloves and not too willingly scratched it, but when she insisted we start wiping her after trips to the bathroom, i just had to ask how she had managed to reach herself all the months leading up to her current admission. she was also ruptured so there was no way....she was a real trip....i have also had patients ask that we pop zits and in my cardiac unit days, some of the requests from patients are just too risque to repeat, but never had i had such wacky requests on a regular basis, until i transferred to ob...how about all of you?

When I was in school, a friend of mine was inserting a dulcolax supoository into a woman bent over her bed who asked "oh, oh, oh, how do you know you're putting that in the right place?" to which my friend replied "cause if I was putting it in the wrong place you'd be saying, oooh, oooh, oooh! :eek:

Can you go into my room and see if it's too hot or too cold? I can't tell.

LOL...I had a patient come to the ER one morning around 0300. She had scraped her fingers a few days before and wanted someone to wash the scabs. She said that she could do it herself, but she had called in sick at work, so she could go to a bridal shower and needed to be seen in the ER for something so she could get a release to go back. We don't have docs in house full time, so I had to call her doctor to come from home to see her. He wrote her a note to get back to work that said something about the patient being seen in the ER for an unneccessary, non-medical, non-emergent condition and that he saw no reason she couldn't return. He also documented everything the patient told us and asked her to sign a medical release in case her employer needed more info...

Scenario #1: Mom discharged to board while LBW baby stays... "I have to go to town (45 min away) to run errands again today (was gone 12 hours yesterday), so the baby will be at the nurses station all day" (even though mom needed to be there to talk to social worker and doc for discharge prep that day)

Scenario #2: Meth positive mom who had meth positive baby :

"why is he so fussy?"... hmmm, whadda ya think?!!!!!!

Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..

I was a patient in our local hospital with steroid induced myopathy. I literally could not raise my head off the pillow, and needed full care. I also had Lenard splints on my feet to treat footdrop.

My tiny care nurse attempted to sit me up on the edge of the bed, but could not. She asked me to help her, but I told her I couldn't. (I don't know why she didn't think to raise the head of my bed into the high Fowler's position.) Well anyway, leaving the bottom bedrail down, she then said, "I'll go get some help. Don't move." DUH!:stone

While she was out in the hall, I felt the bottom of my body pulling the top of my body out of the bed. Desperately clinging to the head rail, my bottom pulled the rest of me on the floor. I was too weak to hang on.

My roomate heard the thud and saw my what she called, "moonboots" sticking out from under the curtain. She yelled. "HELP!"

Later that day, a substitute doctor arrived, and after his intro. and greeting, he said, "I hear you fell out of bed this morning." I answered in the affirmative to which he asked, "Why did you do that?" since I decided a sensless question like that deserved a sensless answer, I said, "I wanted a change of scenery." Laughing, he replied, "Oh, checking out the tiles,hunh?" :imbar

once had an A&Ox3 pt ask me if she could borrow my panties.....:eek:

Specializes in cardiac, diabetes, OB/GYN.

Uhhhh, did she tell you WHY?

In LTC I have heard everything. One Lady wanted us to trim her crotch because the maxipad she wore stuck to her hair. Or even worse is when I have had an 80y/o/m ask me out when thier wife was about to die. GROSS!!

Specializes in cardiac, diabetes, OB/GYN.

Now, whatever happened to "Total Patient Care"? I am told that Flo Nightingale died of syphillis.:chuckle

I received a request to climb in bed with a gentleman to keep him warm during the night. "That's part of my job" I was informed by him. I told him I'd bring him another blanket.

Specializes in Emergency nursing, critical care nursing..

Once while working night shift in a rehab. Hospital one of our wings were closed for about two weeks due to low volume of patients. At a about 0300a.m. I noticed a call light go off at the farthest room in the dark, closed wing. Thinking that a co-worker was playing a trick on me, I went to check it out and found a homeless man, in the bed requesting another blanket. :eek:

It was cold outside and I felt sorry for him, so I gave him another blanket, some stuff to clean up in and told him to leave before the next shift comes in and it will be our secret.

Before I left in the morning, I checked him out and he was gone with all the towels and blankets folded on a made bed.

Guess that is why I became am a nurse.

God bless America! :cool:

Originally posted by princessjacklin

In LTC I have heard everything. One Lady wanted us to trim her crotch because the maxipad she wore stuck to her hair....GROSS!!

yup..i've been asked to trim up the pubie-mullet, too....

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