What are some of the most ridiculous things patients have asked of you? - page 3

what are some of the most ridiculous or outrageous things patients have asked of you? i am nurse one of two nurses with 4 patients the other night in delivery. place was hopping. i answered the light... Read More

  1. by   donmurray
    ROFLMAO! Dennie, ...Kudos to a truly caring professional!!
  2. by   Shandy12
    Years ago in LTC was asked by a resident to "trim his wool" after his tub bath. Apparently he had trouble zipping up his fly and catching pubic hair in the zipper..........I didn't trim. Told the resident if he wore his boxers he'd be fine. He frequently "forgot" his underwear. Said it slowed him down in the bathroom. It was soooo hard not to laugh......


    Shandy
  3. by   ChristenLPN
    This was not actually a request by the pt but more like a heinous deception from her SO... pt was a 20-yr-old G4P4, all by the same guy. At her postpartum appt we decided to bring up the concept of long-term birth control. Being the liberated female that I am, I strongly lobbied for the SO getting "the snip". I felt compelled to emphasize that this was a male prodedure when she made some comment like, "Oh, I just don't think I could handle something like that". Seems her loving SO had told her that after a vasectomy, it was imperative, SOP for a man to have sex several times daily for three months to "expel all the excess sperm"

    I would gladly have performed the procedure myself, and if I was feeling generous, would have given him a little Gentleman Jack pre-op and left him something to brag about. :roll
  4. by   Jolly
    Originally posted by fedupnurse
    A collegaue had an elderly patient ask her to scoop out water from the toilet because his balls would hit the water.


    The tears are rolling down my face!
  5. by   Furball
    The request itself wasn't outlandish but the timing was. One of my post angioplasties developed a huge hematoma. I had my fist smashed against her groin to provide hemostasis while the cardiologist was on the phone with a family member explaining why "Mom" was going to the OR stat. A family member of one of my other 6 pts was standing of to the side looking quite grumpy. When the MD got off the phone "grumpy" came over *****ing because his father's urinal hadn't been emptied in 30 minutes...oh my!!! I thought the MD was gonna blow a gasket and lit into grumpy so fast he didn't know what hit him. He even said the "F" word, and I think I heard the term "moron" at least once.. It was great...he said all the things I was thinking but didn't dare express.
  6. by   mark_LD_RN
    i had post partum moms ask me to wash there feet, had one last night 2nd day post partum came back from bathroom, ask me if i would was her pubic area as see was to tired and her husband did not feel like seeing that nasty stuff. once had a laboring patient that as i was checking her she said" while you are down there why don't you rub my gspot,it helps with pain." these are just a few,some are funny,some just surprise the hell out of me
  7. by   OrthoNutter
    Originally posted by Sleepyeyes
    Had one guy in LTC who was a real PITA...
    dropped his blanket one night and called 9-1-1 because "I was hypothermic."

    Whatever CNA went into his room, he gallantly offered to marry her so he could get them both outta "this place." Oh, and of course, she could take care of him. And don't worry, he'd pay her well.


    lmao reminds me of the dude I had in CCU....I was specialling him one night after he decided to eat Angeltrumpet in a salad sandwich. He was off the planet to begin with but he began having seeming moments of lucidity.

    Until he asked me for the phone that is, I asked him why he wanted it and he told me that I was freaking him out because I never left and he believed I was a ghost of a previous occupant. Then he asked me if I had the number for the Ghostbusters. :chuckle :roll
  8. by   zumalong
    Work on a urology floor--have seen more male appendages over the years than I care to count. Had this one pt. who was in with renal calc. He asked me for a straw. I brought one in to his room and he asked me to insert into his 'shaft' to help stone fall out. Needless to say--I removed all straws from his water pitchers STAT.

    Had a CLOM (confused little ole man) who had a TURP one christmas. He turn on his call light when I answered--he told me he had a present for me under his covers. Young, naive, and curious I pulled back covers to find he had wrapped a nice red bow around his wee winkie right above the catheter. ( was going to ask if he wanted me to give him a bell to put on bow--but was afraid that he would want to make bell ring!!!)

    Oh the things we do and see.
  9. by   bettybobbs
    I have had some real goodies in my nursing career. Once a patient asked me to roll her hair after she had showered and put on makeup herself. I stated to her I don't roll my own hair and never learned. I studied nursing not cosmotology. Once while giving a backrub to a young male bedridden patient, he got an erection. He said to me,"Betty look what you did to me, Can you take care this too?" I looked him straight in the eye and said, "Sorry that's not part of the service".
  10. by   sunnygirl272
    Originally posted by bettybobbs
    I have had some real goodies in my nursing career. Once a patient asked me to roll her hair after she had showered and put on makeup herself. I stated to her I don't roll my own hair and never learned. I studied nursing not cosmotology. Once while giving a backrub to a young male bedridden patient, he got an erection. He said to me,"Betty look what you did to me, Can you take care this too?" I looked him straight in the eye and said, "Sorry that's not part of the service".
    now now now...betty...don't you know, the correct response in this situation is to inform him that that particular service is not covered by his HMO...
  11. by   mlolsonny
    You could have explained that there's a manual release on that thing...
  12. by   donmurray
    A sharp tap usually takes care of those! In an emergency situation, of course! ;o))
  13. by   caroladybelle
    Ice poured in the groin would work quite nicely!!!!!!

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