The things your teachers say...

Nurses Humor

Published

First thing you need to know is that my instructor is very modest and naive...:rolleyes:

My instructor was asking what we were doing for our Christmas break. When we asked her what she was doing she informed us that she was taking her niece to see Santa at the mall. We asked if she was gonna sit in Santa's lap and ask for a gift too. She said, "Yes, I feel HO HO HOish." :eek: Everyone in the classroom fell on the floor laughing. She had no idea why we were laughing. After she repeated the statement to herself it became clear why it was so funny. It was definitely a "Remember When." :yeah:

Specializes in Long Term Care; Skilled Nursing.

In my nursing assistant course, we were learning about nail care and she was explaining to us why we need to wear gloves when we perform nail care on their hands. She said, "When some residents have brown stuff under their nails, you know they aren't planting petunias in January." It was gross, but very funny. I will never forget that.

In my first nursing class when we were doing a wound lab the instructor was explaining that you needed to lip the bottle of opened saline before using it... then she proceeded to show us what she meant by pouring out some saline into the trash as she did she said "pour some out for the homies" i swear we never laughed so hard!! :lol2:

Specializes in Intermediate care.

Its been a year, but clearly there are some things you will never forget. I remember one of my professors said "Nurses are amazing people. No other job do you have the powers to make someone poop"

Specializes in Geriatrics, Home Health.

It was December in Boston, and a snowstorm was in the forecast. We were scheduled to take our NLNs the next day. I asked what we would do if school was cancelled. She replied "School won't be cancelled."

School was cancelled. We never took our NLNs.

Specializes in Pedatrics, Child Protection.

Waaay back when I was in school, one of the OB instructors would commonly refer to the uterus as ones "uter-house". She was so funny! Never forgot anything that had to do with your "uter-house".

Specializes in ICU.

IS and FEV is testing how well your patient can suck and blow

My OB teacher often refered to over weight womens lady partss as 'fluffy'.

We had an instructor first semester say "It's a good rule of thumb to never touch other peoples wet parts, and don't let them touch yours.... without gloves."

She was going over standard precautions.

From my OB teacher

lady parts = tootie

member = nunu

SUIT = Somethin' Up In There! (STD lecture..)

GungaGunga = STD

And then there's the time she pretty much did a self demonstration on how to use a spermicide applicator..

Plenty of "that's what she said" moments...

One of my professors had, um, unique pronunciations of words, for lack of a better descriptor. Antibiotics=an-ti-bee-otics. Prilosec=Pr-ill-osec. She also has other quirks, but I don't want to give away too much. If there are posters here who go to the same school I do, they would guess right away.

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