Things nursing school FAILED to tell us

Here's a couple more after my night at work tonight:

How not to laugh when an escapee gets his/her wheelchair stuck in a muddy ditch across the street.

How not to laugh when a resident says "I'm going home" and another resident in a wheelchair yells "You stupid a**, you're not going anywhere! You're stuck in this hole like the rest of us"(while 3 family members walk by)!

Not to turn red when a patient who is pleasuring himself moans and says inappropriate things while his roomate is staring at him.

AND FINALLY MY FAVORITE:
They do not teach you what to do if a combative resident hits another resident in the head with her cane and says "That'll knock some sense in ya!".

ROTFL

I THINK THAT ALL OF THAT IS NEED TO KNOW INFORMATION. HOW DARE THEY NOT SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THAT STUFF. WHEN I START SCHOOL I WILL HAVE ALL OF THOSE QUESTIONS ANSWERED BEFORE I SET FOOT IN A CLINICAL . BUT MAYBE NOT. I HOPE I NEVER RUN INTO PROJECTILE VOMMITTING OR TOO MUCH POOP.