Things nursing school FAILED to tell us - page 13

Wouldn't it have been great if they told us this stuff in nursing school? NOTE: A LOT OF MINE WERE MEANT FOR LTC NURSES The human body is capable of holding 200 cups of H2O/coffee in your... Read More

  1. by   NATmicuRN
    when you on eve shift and the lol start getting a lil wacky....they tend to settle down when you ask them to fold things such as wash cloths good trick will keep them busy for say 20 min
  2. by   Kiringat
    That when an excited medical intern (acting as a tech for another med intern) whips a snare with a newly removed polyp out of a scope, the polyp can fly across the room and hit the preceptoring MD right in his (open for some reason) mouth.

    I don't think I've ever wanted to laugh and hurl so badly at the same time...
  3. by   Jessiedog
    Quote from beachmom
    I never knew men could have "innies," and I'm not talking about belly buttons.

    Once I had to call a urology nurse to find the opening to insert a catheter in a man.
    YES YES YES! I once nursed a wonderful, kind elderly man who'd had a CVA, and he'd developed the inappropriate laughter thing. (I forget the technical term) No matter what you told him, his response was to laugh hysterically. He needed a condom drain on each night, and it was a nightmare, because he most definitely had an 'innie'.

    He would start out with 1cm of penis visible, then he would look down and start to laugh, making jokes about the size of his equipment. The more he laughed, the more it retracted, until there was nothing left to stick the condom drain to! Us nurses used to fight over who got to put the condom on, because it was often a wonderful release of laughter after a shocking shift.

    My technique used to be to glove up before I went in the room, get his permission to start, then grab that penis before it disappeared into his abdo! That, of course, would start both of us laughing uncontrollably, but at least I had enough length to work with to get that drain attached.

    Goodness only knows what the other 3 men in the room thought was happening behind the curtains each evening!!!
  4. by   Pat_Pat RN
    A patient will ask you to get something for them, and be masturbating when you return with the item.
  5. by   franciscangypsy
    Quote from grace90
    Sometimes when I have a quiet moment at work I wonder just what the h*** I learned in nursing school anyway... I run into so much stuff that I feel like I know nothing about.
    That scares the heck out of me! I ALREADY feel like I know nothing! And I'm going to graduate in a year! I mean, I know stuff, but it doesn't feel like enough. (sigh) Does that feeling ever go away?
  6. by   hospitaljunki
    ahhhhhhhh(soft, sweet, mellow tone) i love nursing, and all the little surprises that come with it.
    those psych pt's are funny. i remember a group of mental health clients playing bingo. and one of them kept saying, "yay-yay" (quickly and shortly) after each time he got a letter on his board. it was funny, probably a "had to be there moment."
  7. by   hospitaljunki
    the feeling comes and goes throughout the months and years. but when you're sitting down taking the nclex, sit with confidence, (drink some coffee b4), use everything you got, keep an open mind of every type of Q they might throw at you, "remeber you are the nurse now" own that license.
  8. by   Jessiedog
    Quote from Franciscangypsy
    That scares the heck out of me! I ALREADY feel like I know nothing! And I'm going to graduate in a year! I mean, I know stuff, but it doesn't feel like enough. (sigh) Does that feeling ever go away?
    No, that feeling doesn't ever quite go away, because there's always something to learn, and somebody else who knows a better way of doing something, or another idea. You skills grow, and your confidence as a nurse will grow with them, but the minute you think you know everything, you've become dangerous, because you're closed to learning.

    Take heart, things will settle, and you won't feel so much like a fish out of water.
  9. by   Natkat
    Quote from hospitaljunki
    ahhhhhhhh(soft, sweet, mellow tone) i love nursing, and all the little surprises that come with it.
    those psych pt's are funny. i remember a group of mental health clients playing bingo. and one of them kept saying, "yay-yay" (quickly and shortly) after each time he got a letter on his board. it was funny, probably a "had to be there moment."
    Oh that reminds me of a Bingo moment I had years ago. I was the activities director of a nursing home and the activity was Bingo. I kept calling the numbers and folks kept covering the numbers. Finally I called the very last number.........and no one had called a Bingo.
  10. by   blabberbrain
    That condom catheters have different sizes, and what to do in case you are putting on a condom catheter and your quadraplegic patient is getting more erect.
  11. by   Indy
    Quote from blabberbrain
    That condom catheters have different sizes, and what to do in case you are putting on a condom catheter and your quadraplegic patient is getting more erect.
    Oh Oh! I know this one! You say "oh thanks for the help, it's really hard to get this on a soft one," and look up, drop your jaw in horror at what you said, then you both get to laugh about it.
  12. by   FranEMTnurse
    That a patient has to teach a caregiver how to give a bed bath,

    That the new administrator is so she doesn't even know how to teach her new staff how to do the basics of patient care

    That the staff will all quit due to the new administrator's self ownership of the staff, making them all feel like little children being told what to do when in fact they could teach her a few things

    That everyone gets the diarrhea at once

    That poop flies

    That an instructor will tell her students that old poop from an ostomy bag smells like cabbage
  13. by   Lori75
    "How not to laugh when a resident says "I'm going home" and another resident in a wheelchair yells "You stupid a**, you're not going anywhere! You're stuck in this hole like the rest of us"(while 3 family members walk by)!"

    OMG!!! I would have been killing myself with laughter...there is no way I could have suppressed it! That would have been priceless! Maybe a bit sad too.... I can relate, I work LTC sometimes too.

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