Stupid things that nurses say

Nurses Humor

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I'm going to pick on myself for a moment. I have to admit that sometimes I blurt things out without truly thinking about it. Today I said something ( without thinking) to a patient that was purely stupid.

Long story short: My patient had to drink a medication that did not taste so good. She had to drink a whole cup and the only thing I could do to make it bearable was to add a little ice.

Patient: "This taste horrible"

Me: "Just imagine it is a magarita on the rocks";)

Patients' husband: " That is not a good idea, since we are both recovering alcoholics"

Me: " Oh you are right...bad idea, never mind.:o( then I proceed to use more therapeutic interventions)

Needless to say I learned my lesson, never assume anything.:nono:

I now except my award for blurting out the most stupid thing ever!

:thankya:

This was said by one of my coworkers:

The pt was an above the elbow amputee and he asked the guy if he needed a hand...luckily the pt was good humored and laughed:unsure:

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I'm a student. I was changing a patient's dressing the other day, was almost done and taping it up. One of the corners of the tape folded under and stuck and without thinking, I let out an "Oooh..." and he just glared at me (luckily he had a good sense of humor). My instructor started laughing and I turned bright red.

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Specializes in Med-Surg, LTC, Psych, Addictions..
That made me laugh so hard my dog is looking at me like I'm crazy. :rotfl: I can't stop giggling.

I was taught in school and by my jobs that qs = every shift. That would mean to me that the pt voided at least once a shift at some point during the shift. Q8h is every 8 hours. And I work 12 hour shifts so qs is at least once during the 12 hours.

The stupidest thing I can think of that I've done recently was when I was taking care of a grouchy male pt. He had a feeding tube and was on a vent. Well, I'd be cranky too. But I was trying to cheer him up. So I said to this poor guy, "Oh come on cheer up! It's almost supper time and we're having burgers!" Yes, to this poor man with a feeding tube!!!! It hit me as soon as the words were out of my mouth....and I didn't know what to say so I just kinda mumbled, "Sorry." And then, "I'll go get your meds!" And ran outta the room. But if looks could kill, I'd be one dead nurse lol.

That was good! I actually laughed out loud. Tears and all.

Ironically, I've done that to a pt once. Felt awful.

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Specializes in Hospice and Palliative Care.

*sigh*. I have another to add. Was running charge today AND in the numbers with 5 pts, frazzled and calling for report on a new admit w/diagnosis of metastatic uterine cancer. The patient had kind of an androgynous name, and without thinking, I asked the nurse "is this patient male or female?" ....The patient with a uterus.

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My husband was in the hospital and the nursing staff was obviously a dysfunctional bunch. The day shift RN didn't like something about the way the night shift RN hooked up the NG tube. She says to my husband, "that Suzy, she isn't the sharpest tack in the box."

Gave us lots of confidence in their unit. Not.

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Specializes in Med-Surg, LTC, Psych, Addictions..

When getting a blood glucose, I used to always say "pick a finger, any finger, but the middle finger."

I once said that to a pt without a middle finger! Luckily, he thought it was funny.

Also, a pt complained once to administration about nurses calling her a cow. It turns out they were talking about the Computer On Wheels, not the pt!

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In my defense sometimes when I ask a patient if they have had an EKG done I get a confused look of, "I'm not sure, what it that?" So I was in a little bit of a hurry and asked a patient if they had had "all those sticky things put on their chest to check their heart out?" The patient looked at me and deadpanned, "Do you mean have I had an EKG?'

I joked....."no, I mean all those sticky things!" He did laugh about it.

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Not what I said, but my patient's family. Mom was pumping breast milk in NICU. Dad reaches out, grabs both breasts, "here, honey, let me help you with that." He starts massaging both breasts and smirking about it. Then he jokes about how long they have to wait to have sex.

Me: "I'm gonna leave on that note. See you in 15 minutes."

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Guess what, Yankour suction canula is pronounced more like our(or) than ur(er). Made some surgeons laugh so hard one day, asked me to repeat that word, made me turn red...:sarcastic::roflmao::shy::angrybird5::o:roflmao::sarcastic:

Southern accent? Fast talking? IDK?! I'll just get the suction!

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Specializes in Cardio-Pulmonary; Med-Surg; Private Duty.
Guess what, Yankour suction canula is pronounced more like our(or) than ur(er). Made some surgeons laugh so hard one day, asked me to repeat that word, made me turn red...:sarcastic::roflmao::shy::angrybird5::o:roflmao::sarcastic:

Southern accent? Fast talking? IDK?! I'll just get the suction!

Just FYI, it's spelled Yankauer, and I've heard it pronounced all kinds of ways.

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Thanks brillohead! No wonder I said it like that. So...others may too?

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Specializes in Cardio-Pulmonary; Med-Surg; Private Duty.
Thanks brillohead! No wonder I said it like that. So...others may too?

You're welcome!

I think how you pronounce it just depends on regional differences and how you've heard it discussed in nursing school.

Kinda like how some people say "sent-ih-meter" and some people say "sont-ih-meter" for "centimeter".

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