Stupid things that nurses say

Nurses Humor

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I'm going to pick on myself for a moment. I have to admit that sometimes I blurt things out without truly thinking about it. Today I said something ( without thinking) to a patient that was purely stupid.

Long story short: My patient had to drink a medication that did not taste so good. She had to drink a whole cup and the only thing I could do to make it bearable was to add a little ice.

Patient: "This taste horrible"

Me: "Just imagine it is a magarita on the rocks";)

Patients' husband: " That is not a good idea, since we are both recovering alcoholics"

Me: " Oh you are right...bad idea, never mind.:o( then I proceed to use more therapeutic interventions)

Needless to say I learned my lesson, never assume anything.:nono:

I now except my award for blurting out the most stupid thing ever!

:thankya:

Specializes in OR, Nursing Professional Development.
But what is the phrase to use that is appropriate when trying to determine the relationship between a visitor and the pt?

It definitely is not, "Is the your ---?" Perhaps, "is s/he family or friend?"

Please do tell!!

I always ask my preop patients "And who is with you today?" Completely gets around the assuming thing and provides an introduction.

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The instructions before my OP procedure said to bring a responsible adult to drive you home afterward. I brought my 82 year-old mother. The nurse said to my mom, "Are you going to be able to take her home after the procedure or ....?" To which my mom replied, "I was responsible enough to drive her here so I can definitely get her back home again."

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I read your comment with a smile, a mistake. Yes, he happened to be a recovering alcoholic, perhaps if you had more information about the patient you would not have said. I don't drink, just can't, one drink and it's over. Sometimes I wish I could like other people, not often, so it's not personal for me. I would walk carefully around the issue since sometimes people don't drink for religious reasons or even health, as we know. So yes it was a bit inappropriate. I say that because your heart was in the right place. You were trying to help your patient get through this procedure. I love humour in the workplace and it is cultural. It really is. In my parents country, you can go on the internet and even though there is much suffering, you will be see us dancing in the middle of the street. I think for us it is a stress reliever and a very valuable one. I was more dismayed by the perceptions and the overall tone of the responses. I think we would all go a long way and many of our internal bullying problems would go away, if we could just laugh things off more, and when we make non life threatening little mistakes and learn from them. Sometimes this is how we learn. We all know that we have heard all kinds of non-therapeutic conversations even all of the other disciplines because we are all human. A way to correct that would have been to say " I am sorry Mr. Smith, that was inappropriate of me, you have taught me a valuable lesson today. Thank you, and again I am sorry." Then redirect the conversation and let him know that you care wish, you obviously did. Usually, not always, when the patient know you care, they will overlook something like that. You know you won't be doing that again and you can work on your own therapeutic conversation as well. Sadly should that patient complain about you, management will act like they have never done anything that was basically just well, kind of dumb, sorry. I wish we could all just step back, take some deep breaths and get over the petty stuff. I have seen the nurses in pediatrics a bit more relaxed, probably even more careful but since the atmosphere is for children, happiness is an acceptable goal. Why can't we do some of that for our adults and even our nurses? I love taking care of patients there is just something about watching a patient a patient improve, maybe that is why I love gardening, kids and pets. I just hated the joylessness around us. How are we suppose to be healers if we are uptight all the time. Also, as a patient, I love jokes and happy people. When I go on my appointments, if at least the caretakers are nice and joyful, it makes easier on me, less painful, and I follow those instructions better. I have also noticed that even pain can be helped with laughter, yes it does. I have seen it as a nurse and I have seen it as a patient. My best friend is now on O2 at home, when we speak on the phone and laugh as silly things her O2 sats go up and even if for a short time she feels better. So laugh people it is good for everyone and if there is any management out there, please don't sweat the small stuff.

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uh oh

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OMG.....

That was inappropriate for you to say that in front of visitors even though he was a jerk. Don't lower yourself to his level.

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When I worked as an aide at the hospital, I had a 20 something male pt who the doctor wanted very strict I+O and wanted a Foley.

Understandably, he was leery of having a Foley inserted, so the doc ordered a condom catheter. Our floor stock was just not working... Frankly, he was too small for them to stay on.

This guy was very rude and demanding. Yelling at me, the nurse. Badmouthing me in front of his visitors. When I came in with a different catheter to try, he berated me for taking too long. I replied (right in front of his friends) "I'm sorry. I had to go to the pediatric unit to find one that will fit you."

That was inappropriate for you to say that in front of visitors even though he was a jerk. Don't lower yourself to his level.

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Well you only spoke the truth, but ...sometimes we have to bite our tongues.

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Specializes in PICU, Pediatrics, Trauma.
Ahhh, well I don't think that's too bad. Once I was pushing a non-ambulatory pt in her wheelchair, down a slight ramp - I don't know where it came from, but I heard my own voice saying, "wheeeeeeeee!" The lady was in her mid-50s. I got a real good "withering look" out of that one. :o

Hey! I'm in my fifties and I would have loved it. probably asked you to go faster.

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Specializes in PICU, Pediatrics, Trauma.
When I worked as an aide at the hospital, I had a 20 something male pt who the doctor wanted very strict I+O and wanted a Foley.

Understandably, he was leery of having a Foley inserted, so the doc ordered a condom catheter. Our floor stock was just not working... Frankly, he was too small for them to stay on.

This guy was very rude and demanding. Yelling at me, the nurse. Badmouthing me in front of his visitors. When I came in with a different catheter to try, he berated me for taking too long. I replied (right in front of his friends) "I'm sorry. I had to go to the pediatric unit to find one that will fit you."

He deserved it! I know, I know...not appropriate, but darned funny!

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Specializes in PICU, Pediatrics, Trauma.
I read your comment with a smile, a mistake. Yes, he happened to be a recovering alcoholic, perhaps if you had more information about the patient you would not have said. I don't drink, just can't, one drink and it's over. Sometimes I wish I could like other people, not often, so it's not personal for me. I would walk carefully around the issue since sometimes people don't drink for religious reasons or even health, as we know. So yes it was a bit inappropriate. I say that because your heart was in the right place. You were trying to help your patient get through this procedure. I love humour in the workplace and it is cultural. It really is. In my parents country, you can go on the internet and even though there is much suffering, you will be see us dancing in the middle of the street. I think for us it is a stress reliever and a very valuable one. I was more dismayed by the perceptions and the overall tone of the responses. I think we would all go a long way and many of our internal bullying problems would go away, if we could just laugh things off more, and when we make non life threatening little mistakes and learn from them. Sometimes this is how we learn. We all know that we have heard all kinds of non-therapeutic conversations even all of the other disciplines because we are all human. A way to correct that would have been to say " I am sorry Mr. Smith, that was inappropriate of me, you have taught me a valuable lesson today. Thank you, and again I am sorry." Then redirect the conversation and let him know that you care wish, you obviously did. Usually, not always, when the patient know you care, they will overlook something like that. You know you won't be doing that again and you can work on your own therapeutic conversation as well. Sadly should that patient complain about you, management will act like they have never done anything that was basically just well, kind of dumb, sorry. I wish we could all just step back, take some deep breaths and get over the petty stuff. I have seen the nurses in pediatrics a bit more relaxed, probably even more careful but since the atmosphere is for children, happiness is an acceptable goal. Why can't we do some of that for our adults and even our nurses? I love taking care of patients there is just something about watching a patient a patient improve, maybe that is why I love gardening, kids and pets. I just hated the joylessness around us. How are we suppose to be healers if we are uptight all the time. Also, as a patient, I love jokes and happy people. When I go on my appointments, if at least the caretakers are nice and joyful, it makes easier on me, less painful, and I follow those instructions better. I have also noticed that even pain can be helped with laughter, yes it does. I have seen it as a nurse and I have seen it as a patient. My best friend is now on O2 at home, when we speak on the phone and laugh as silly things her O2 sats go up and even if for a short time she feels better. So laugh people it is good for everyone and if there is any management out there, please don't sweat the small stuff.

Well said and thank you!

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Me too!

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Specializes in Haem/Onc.

To my amputee teenaged sarcoma patient: "Let's just cover your legs again. *pause as I realise what I said* Leg."

Then I shut up. Luckily she had an awesome sense of humour right to the end, but I was definitely blushing and kicking myself. :banghead:

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