Snappy things to say to coworkers

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Snappy Things To Say To Co-Workers

Obviously you're unable to assimilate my stimulating concepts into your blighted and retarded world-view.

I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

I can see your point, but I still think you're full of it.

I like you. You remind me of me when I was young and stupid.

What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

I'll give you a nice, shiny quarter if you'll go away.

I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

How about never? Is never good for you?

I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication

You're just jealous because the little voices talk to ME.

I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

Who me? I just wander from room to room.

Snappy Things To Say To Co-Workers

Obviously you're unable to assimilate my stimulating concepts into your blighted and retarded world-view.

I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

I can see your point, but I still think you're full of it.

I like you. You remind me of me when I was young and stupid.

What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

I'll give you a nice, shiny quarter if you'll go away.

I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

How about never? Is never good for you?

I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication

You're just jealous because the little voices talk to ME.

I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

Who me? I just wander from room to room.

Is it time for my medication or for yours??

Specializes in RN Spanish Translator.

:rotfl: I plan to use some of these!!! Thanks!!!

I am fond of:

"Don't pi$$ me off- I'm running out of places to hide the bodies."

And this is a great one-

http://www.cafeshops.com/cp/zoom.aspx?p=4409805

"Ummm, Didn't I flush you?"

If I wanted to hear from an a$$hole, I'd fart.

my two favorite ones!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ty ty ty

:)

:)

Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.

"thank you for being living proof that stupidity should hurt"

"I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant. "

I think I'm prohibited from using that phrase. My wife thinks I'm a little TOO snarley when I say it.

-Dave

Specializes in Community Health Nurse.
"Ummm, Didn't I flush you?"

If I wanted to hear from an a$$hole, I'd fart. :)

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

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