share the weirdest reasons patients push the call light for

I once had a patient who called me to the room to wipe his butt because he did not wipe his own butt at home....his wife did. (I'm not kidding about this)

That same patient would call me to his room to pull the bedside table closer to him, and pour him a cup of cold water. He didn't have to do this for himself at home. His wife did it, or their "help" did it.

Was he too sick to wipe his own butt and get his own water? No. He was a walky-talky dressed in a silk robe and jammies who could do everything for himself if he wanted to. He didn't want to.

Where I work, the CNA or PCT take most of the call lights unless it is for medication. I once had a patient ask me to come in just to hand her the phone and dial a number. She was on contact isolation. So after I "suited up" she said she couldn't answer or dial. She was a total walky talky who had been in the hospital for months and was getting very lazy! After that she would hollar through the door at me every time I walked by her room.

Had a woman who was 101. She rung her bell but then just looked at us. Eventually she said "Am I dead yet?".

One patient rung for me to put the head of his bed up...about one inch. As I was leaving the room his light came on again...to lower the head of the bed. I handed him the control and told him to adjust the bed where he wanted it. He told me, I can't see it, I'm almost blind. I showed him that the buttons were raised and any pointing up would raise and any pointing down would lower and to have fun with discovery.

I have had calls to move the bedside table an inch over, too. Any number of things that people can do for themselves. They get upset with me when I remind them it's a rehab unit and they need to do these things for themselves.

the guy who wouldn't do anything for himself reminded me of a resident we had at a nurseing homee .. he and his wife were admitted together and she was very sick .. it seems at home he never did anything when she was too sick to get out of bed he brought the cold cuts, mayo, bread etc and she would raise up enough to make him a sandwich . and pour him a glass of milk . he would eat then put everything back in fridge
couldn't understand why his sons put him in ltc and he was very upset because they didn't come and get after wife died

I had one patient a couple months ago that hit her call bell because she wanted me to tell her what "that" was on the desk on the other side of the room... (as she was pointing to a box of tissues).

What's so great was, she didn't want it, and she wasn't delerious and afraid of it or anything... she just wanted to know what it was. When I told her it was tissues, she just said "oh" and that was it.

I had a pt ring the call light over and over again just to make sure it was working.

I was called to a room in assisted living because we had a 101 yr old man that was terrified because "his plumbing was gone!". Come to find out he must have been cold, and his "johnson" shrank back.

Now, I am NOT going to pull it out for him..and gave him tea till he had to pee, just conversing and having a good time..then when it was time, he peed just fine and I said..."Look! It is right there!". He was very greatful! LOL!

I have been called to a elderly womans room to take out a baby she swears was in her light fixture. No baby there, however I said..."no honey, there is no human baby there...but there is one heck of a dust bunny there!" I retrieved it and she was very relieved.

Then of course there are those other professions I suppose folks assume we do! I was called into a room for a stuffed up toliet (full of towels!!!!!!). I was able to actually fix that suprisingly and submitted a fake bill to the administration for my plumbing expertise. And a bird hit a window and I had to do CPR on it because of a very freaked out elderly woman demanded I did...I gave it two minutes and prounouced death (I think legally I can on a wild bird..LOL!).

I LOVE the one about the 101 asking if she was still alive! CLASSIC!

These are toooo funny.