Nurses' Christmas

  1. nurses' christmas

    t'was the night before christmas, and all thru the floor
    lasix was given, filling foleys galore.
    stockings were worn to prevent emboli,
    they came in two sizes, knee and thigh high.
    the patients were nestled half-a$$ed in their beds,
    while visions of stool softeners danced in their heads.
    we in our scrubs, and they in their gowns,
    fashions created to hide extra pounds.

    when down in the er it became such a zoo
    they called with admissions for me and for you.
    they're coming, they're going, and they're all looking the same. my patience for patients is starting to wane.
    now call lights are ringing, the patient 400 pounds,
    says-"didnt get my pericare, now send my nurse down."

    and now delegation seems the best plan,
    we try to send others, to the needs of this man.
    when what to my wondering eyes should appear,

    but santa himself and 8 tiny reindeer.
    he says he comes from central supply
    to bring us lr,ns, & d5.
    the doctors then scribbled what no one could read,
    orders on patients, to measure their pee.
    we try to decipher illegible words,
    orders for patients, to guaiac their turds.

    the new shift arriving, our day is now through,
    how did stool & emesis get in my shoe?

    we give them report and pass on the facts,
    and tell them of duoderm lining the cracks.
    and the nurses exclaim as they limp out of sight,
    "ativan to them all, and to all good night.!!!"
  2. Visit TigerGalLE profile page

    About TigerGalLE

    Joined: Feb '07; Posts: 805; Likes: 1,004
    Staff nurse; from US
    Specialty: ICU, Med/Surg


  3. by   ohmeowzer RN
    this is great .. i love it
  4. by   Deb123j
    Very cute...thanks! It's funny...the further along in nursing school that I get (I graduate in 1 week) the more I understand this type of humor!!! LMAO
  5. by   RanieRN
    Gonna print this and post it at work!
  6. by   suzy253
    That's great! Thanks for sharing it. I'm going to print it out also and post it at work.
  7. by   christina_v
    I just want to thank everyone who was so wonderful as to welcome me so warmly!
    I am sorry I am returning thanks so oldest son broke his ankle last Wed. and I have been fighting to get him into see the doctor..he finally went yesterday and he is having surgery tomorrow....I will check back here later..Thank you all so much!!
  8. by   MedicalLPN
    OMG That is TOO FUNNY! Love it!
  9. by   MrsCannibal
    Printed and posted! Hilarious...however, I work with a bunch of social workers; I will probably have to explain half the jokes, hee hee!
  10. by   ?burntout
    That is very cute!
  11. by   MedicalLPN
    Printed this out for my co-workers, they LOVED it, it really describes our unit to a "T" Thanks for sharing it with us!
  12. by   peridotgirl
    Thank you for the post. It was hilarious. I'm only a SPN (Student Practical Nurse) and I can actually understand what it means! I'm going to print it out and share it with all my nursing friends. Yeah!
  13. by   st4wb3rr33sh0rtc4k3
  14. by   peridotgirl
    What does "guaiac their turds" mean? That was the only part I did not understand