Funny things that pts say - page 4

Sometimes sweet innocence can make your whole day...... I once had a pt who had really bad gas as I was helping her into the tub and she stated to me "no need to turn on the jets today honey,... Read More

  1. by   nitenurse02
    We had a patient who was actively dying and the aide was having trouble getting a pressure. Knowing that someone in the family had a medical background but not knowing which one, I went in to take the pressure. (it wasn't my pt, just helping out the nurse) it was low and very faint and I wasn't sure if they family was kidding or not (they weren't) when they asked me how long she would last without a pressure reading. I wasn't sure what to say to that, but went with a simple head shake and "not long"
  2. by   Suninmyheart
    Another nursing student story....

    LTC. A little old lady with dementia, very angry all the time, yells out one insult after another, swears... it's around christmas and a few nurses go in her room to sing carols and she kicks them out. Next time a whole group of us go in there and start singin "Jingle Bells".

    She looks around at all of us, smiles, then sweetly joins in "Jingle bells jingle bells jingle UP YOUR ***, now GET OUTTA HERE!"
  3. by   JaredCNA
    This isn't something a pt said, but I think it is worth mentioning.

    There is this awesome nurse in ICU that I've worked with several times when I got pulled down. She told me that one time she was taking care of a pt on a vent that had been pretty much non-responsive to stimuli for about two weeks.

    Every night, she said, he was passing gas all night long. And she mentioned that it was very audible and very odorous. She said, well, after two weeks of caring for him, I just assumed since he was doing it all the time...that I could pass gas around him. She figured it wouldn't make any difference since he was on the vent and couldn't smell anything.

    So that night she passed gas in front of him for the first time and his eyes opened wide and he just had this disgusting look on his face. First documented time he had moved in two weeks!
  4. by   lpnstudentin2010
    Quote from JaredCNA
    This isn't something a pt said, but I think it is worth mentioning.

    There is this awesome nurse in ICU that I've worked with several times when I got pulled down. She told me that one time she was taking care of a pt on a vent that had been pretty much non-responsive to stimuli for about two weeks.

    Every night, she said, he was passing gas all night long. And she mentioned that it was very audible and very odorous. She said, well, after two weeks of caring for him, I just assumed since he was doing it all the time...that I could pass gas around him. She figured it wouldn't make any difference since he was on the vent and couldn't smell anything.

    So that night she passed gas in front of him for the first time and his eyes opened wide and he just had this disgusting look on his face. First documented time he had moved in two weeks!

    wonder how she charted that.
  5. by   KarafromPhilly
    Quote from JustaPatient
    wonder how she charted that.
    Responsive to noxious stimulus?
  6. by   JaredCNA
    I don't know but it is so funny because she is from the old school, a diploma nurse who has been in critical care since the early '80s. You should hear her explain the story.

    She'll tell you, without a change in facial expresion, "Well, he'd been farting around me for the past two weeks. I felt like we got to know each other and were family because he felt comfortable enough to pass gas in front of me...so I thought I could do it back."
  7. by   ladyval
    Had a pt yesterday who was in for rapid atrial fib. His primary doctors told him the the electrophysiology doctor would come evaluate him for a cardioversion. I asked him about an hour later how he was and he said "just fine, waiting for that electric doctor" It had been a rough day and that definately brightened it up. Later after the doc had come in. I said was that the electric doctor and he said "yup and she was."
  8. by   nursebabygirl 08
    Quote from jRN4now
    Sometimes sweet innocence can make your whole day......


    I once had a pt who had really bad gas as I was helping her into the tub and she stated to me "no need to turn on the jets today honey, cause I'm self propelled!"

    I once had a pt ask me what time her "autopsy was scheduled for that day", I smiled and said "your BIOPSY will be later today".

    I once had a little old lady ask me if I liked my job because I got to look at naked men all day.... :imbar

    Just the other day I had an 84 year old lady ask me if I knew if her amniocentesis was scheduled for today or tomorrow. What she was asking about was her thoracentesis..
    Now that's funny!!
  9. by   nursebabygirl 08
    I work at a GI office. Well one dasy in walked a little , petite, prissy lady to have a colonoscopy. After doing her vitals and getting her ready to have the procedure;she was instructed to lay on her left side, while turing over the pt commented" look at my crack hole and tell me that it don't look like a tulip garden down there The doctor was in the room and she didn't know it ... i had to turn away from them both before i busted a gut from laughing.
  10. by   NurseRoRo
    I was working in post-op in Endo when a patient who had just had a colonoscopy was waking up. I brought him some soda, then checked on him every 15 minutes. As soon as I'd leave he kept whispering to his wife, "Tell the waitress I don't want cheese with my broccoli, okay?"

    While going over the discharge instructions, he kept interrupting and asking if he could ride his bicycle home as he insisted he cycled to the hospital.

    Ah, don't ya just love Vitamin V?
  11. by   nursebabygirl 08
    RoRO girl that was funny!!!! If that had been me i probably would not have been able to finish giving him his discharge instructions without laughing:chuckle:chuckleThese sedated pt's crack me up with the things they say. Just the other day i had a pt that while during the colonoscopy he kept passing gas and every time he did it he would laugh.(the medicine didn't touch him) He had one long tooth in the front of his mouth and everytime he laughed all you could see was that one tooth and him going HEhEHE. I controlled it as long as i could but finally succame to the laughter.....(the md i was with is one of those shy, reserved type of doctors;he was trying to ignore the pt) The man looked at me after letting a long gust of wind and said "boy that blew the paint off the walls, He He He.(laughed so hard i cried)
  12. by   MaryAnn_RN
    Last week a patient said to me with a straight face that 'big feet run in my family'. I laughed because I thought she was cracking a joke, but she wasn't
  13. by   Jessiedog
    Quote from nursebabygirl 08
    RoRO girl that was funny!!!! If that had been me i probably would not have been able to finish giving him his discharge instructions without laughing:chuckle:chuckleThese sedated pt's crack me up with the things they say.
    Sedated adults ARE fun. Sedated kids are hilarious!!! I've worked in a kids ward for 10 years, and being in the country, we did surgery as well as medical. Dealing with kids after they've had a pre-med and before they go in can really make your day. I had one 3yo boy being transferred to theatre on the trolley, with mum walking beside him and me pushing him. He was happy and giggly, falling all over himself as he bounced on the mattress. Mum had been anxious about sending jnr in for surgery, but that disappeared real quick! She couldn't hold a straight face as she watched his antics! The climax came as he tottered to his knees and flung his arms out wide, shouting. "I'm flying, I'm flying" as the trolley made its way down the hall. Mum lunged in to catch him before he tried to 'fly' off the trolley, saying "I don't know about flying, but you sure are high!" We both laughed until I couldn't push him anymore.

    There are times when you just HAVE to join in and let your hair down.

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