Funny things that pts say

This isn't something a pt said, but I think it is worth mentioning.

There is this awesome nurse in ICU that I've worked with several times when I got pulled down. She told me that one time she was taking care of a pt on a vent that had been pretty much non-responsive to stimuli for about two weeks.

Every night, she said, he was passing gas all night long. And she mentioned that it was very audible and very odorous. She said, well, after two weeks of caring for him, I just assumed since he was doing it all the time...that I could pass gas around him. She figured it wouldn't make any difference since he was on the vent and couldn't smell anything.

So that night she passed gas in front of him for the first time and his eyes opened wide and he just had this disgusting look on his face. First documented time he had moved in two weeks!

wonder how she charted that.

Sometimes sweet innocence can make your whole day......


I once had a pt who had really bad gas as I was helping her into the tub and she stated to me "no need to turn on the jets today honey, cause I'm self propelled!"

I once had a pt ask me what time her "autopsy was scheduled for that day", I smiled and said "your BIOPSY will be later today".

I once had a little old lady ask me if I liked my job because I got to look at naked men all day....

Just the other day I had an 84 year old lady ask me if I knew if her amniocentesis was scheduled for today or tomorrow. What she was asking about was her thoracentesis..