Funny things that pts say

Nurses Humor

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Sometimes sweet innocence can make your whole day......

I once had a pt who had really bad gas as I was helping her into the tub and she stated to me "no need to turn on the jets today honey, cause I'm self propelled!":rotfl:

I once had a pt ask me what time her "autopsy was scheduled for that day", I smiled and said "your BIOPSY will be later today".

I once had a little old lady ask me if I liked my job because I got to look at naked men all day.... :imbar

Just the other day I had an 84 year old lady ask me if I knew if her amniocentesis was scheduled for today or tomorrow. What she was asking about was her thoracentesis..

Specializes in Med Surg, Case Management, OR.

I was working in post-op in Endo when a patient who had just had a colonoscopy was waking up. I brought him some soda, then checked on him every 15 minutes. As soon as I'd leave he kept whispering to his wife, "Tell the waitress I don't want cheese with my broccoli, okay?"

While going over the discharge instructions, he kept interrupting and asking if he could ride his bicycle home as he insisted he cycled to the hospital.

Ah, don't ya just love Vitamin V? :D

RoRO girl that was funny!!!! If that had been me i probably would not have been able to finish giving him his discharge instructions without laughing:chuckle:chuckle:lol2:These sedated pt's crack me up with the things they say. Just the other day i had a pt that while during the colonoscopy he kept passing gas and every time he did it he would laugh.(the medicine didn't touch him) He had one long tooth in the front of his mouth and everytime he laughed all you could see was that one tooth and him going HEhEHE. I controlled it as long as i could but finally succame to the laughter.....(the md i was with is one of those shy, reserved type of doctors;he was trying to ignore the pt) The man looked at me after letting a long gust of wind and said "boy that blew the paint off the walls, He He He.:cry:(laughed so hard i cried)

Specializes in ICU.

Last week a patient said to me with a straight face that 'big feet run in my family'. I laughed because I thought she was cracking a joke, but she wasn't :D

Specializes in Paediatrics, Orthopeodics, ENT, General.
RoRO girl that was funny!!!! If that had been me i probably would not have been able to finish giving him his discharge instructions without laughing:chuckle:chuckle:lol2:These sedated pt's crack me up with the things they say.

Sedated adults ARE fun. Sedated kids are hilarious!!! I've worked in a kids ward for 10 years, and being in the country, we did surgery as well as medical. Dealing with kids after they've had a pre-med and before they go in can really make your day. I had one 3yo boy being transferred to theatre on the trolley, with mum walking beside him and me pushing him. He was happy and giggly, falling all over himself as he bounced on the mattress. Mum had been anxious about sending jnr in for surgery, but that disappeared real quick! She couldn't hold a straight face as she watched his antics! The climax came as he tottered to his knees and flung his arms out wide, shouting. "I'm flying, I'm flying" as the trolley made its way down the hall. Mum lunged in to catch him before he tried to 'fly' off the trolley, saying "I don't know about flying, but you sure are high!" We both laughed until I couldn't push him anymore.

There are times when you just HAVE to join in and let your hair down.

:yeah::nurse:

Sedated adults ARE fun. Sedated kids are hilarious!!! I've worked in a kids ward for 10 years, and being in the country, we did surgery as well as medical. Dealing with kids after they've had a pre-med and before they go in can really make your day. I had one 3yo boy being transferred to theatre on the trolley, with mum walking beside him and me pushing him. He was happy and giggly, falling all over himself as he bounced on the mattress. Mum had been anxious about sending jnr in for surgery, but that disappeared real quick! She couldn't hold a straight face as she watched his antics! The climax came as he tottered to his knees and flung his arms out wide, shouting. "I'm flying, I'm flying" as the trolley made its way down the hall. Mum lunged in to catch him before he tried to 'fly' off the trolley, saying "I don't know about flying, but you sure are high!" We both laughed until I couldn't push him anymore.

There are times when you just HAVE to join in and let your hair down.

:yeah::nurse:

Kids make life SO much fun. I adore kids. In my mind you can be having the worst day of your life, then you see a kid and it makes life better.

Specializes in Med Surg, Case Management, OR.

Um, well, I apparently was a hoot when I had a colonoscopy last year. It was in early December and I woke up towards the end of the scope and said, "Is that my colon???" and pointed to the screen. I heard, "She's awake!" And it went black again. I woke up in recovery to my husband at my side and the nurse saying, "She's got a death grip on those photos...she also wanted to let you know she wants to make these into Christmas cards this year."

We went to Cracker Barrel for lunch...don't remember a darn thing.

:uhoh21:Could you tell it was my first time with Versed??:uhoh21:

"I have congenital herpes." So, let me think....you were born with it and/or it runs in your family.

I just let it go.

I thought that when a nurse is pregnant that she is advised not to work. I mean, how could you do the things a nurse does when you are pregnant? please explain.

There are many pregnant nurses that continue to work. I worked up till a few weeks I had my baby. There were two other that worked the floor that were pregnant. I had to work or I wouldn't have any money. The time off for recovering from delivery, the typical amount of time taken off from work, was my sick time and vacation time. It isn't easy. I just refused to do anything that would harm my baby, lifting, pulling, pushing, turning or assisting a very weak patients that needs to sit in chair.

Specializes in GYN/GON/Med-Surg/Oncology/Tele.

Well this patient didn't actually say anything, she pulled her leads off because she had dropped her call bell and couldn't reach it.

The same patient was telling me about a bad experience with a staff member earlier on another day and before my shift ended, I told her that she'd have the same staff member during the day she said "Oh God"

I thought that when a nurse is pregnant that she is advised not to work. I mean, how could you do the things a nurse does when you are pregnant? please explain.

I KNOW that it is not exactly the same because Docs and Nurses are different but my eye doctor removed my eye when she was 7 months preggers with TWINS and worked right up to the whole 9 months (she went full term with them)

Specializes in Community, OB, Nursery.

I worked til the day before my water broke with ds.

There are certain diseases you should make the effort not to be exposed to, but lots and LOTS of nurses work the entire 9 months if they are healthy & their docs recommend it.

Just FYI. Pregnancy isn't an illness! :D

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There are times when you just HAVE to join in and let your hair down.

:yeah::nurse:

I agree with that all the way:up:

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