Funniest/strangest dementia patient stories

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I'm sure we all have them, especially those of us who have worked in LTC. Here are some of mine:

  • climbing into other residents' beds and taking a nap...one time we found the resident sleeping in a bed that was already occupied by the resident it belonged to--they were both sleeping in there!!
  • putting pajamas in the toilet, then having an extra-large BM right on top of them
  • taking a cup that had some medication mixed in juice, then turning to the person sitting next to her and saying "here, you can have this"--fortunately I was able to take it back before the other resident could get a hold of it
  • wandering around in the hall and grabbing people's butts
  • blowing nose into a tissue, then using same tissue to "clean" nurse's station counter :barf02:

What other funny/crazy things have you guys seen dementia patients do?

Yesterday an aide came up to me and said, "Mrs. H. just gave these to me (a pair of bedroom slippers), she said she didn't need them anymore so I could have them, and I'm not sure what to do. I thought I might give them to another resident, what do you think?" I told her to keep them at the nurses' station for a while, then put them back in Mrs. H's room. The aide said, "Are you sure? I don't want to offend her." I was quite amused and said, "I don't think she'll remember giving them away." I could almost see the light bulb go on over her head...oh yeah, dementia unit!

Specializes in Pediatrics.

Back when I was a CNA in a LTC, there was a really sweet little old lady. She used to be a school teacher and would read everything she could get her hands on. She also loved children and had a beloved baby doll.

On day I saw her walking down the hallway cradling and singing to what I thought was her baby doll, only it was wrapped in toilet paper.

I took a closer look at her "baby" and she had, a XL very firm BM, wrapped in toliet paper, she told me she had just given birth:eek:

The only way to get her "baby" away was to tell her we would take it to the nursery so she could rest after her long hard labor:lol2:

Specializes in Med nurse in med-surg., float, HH, and PDN.

Last P.M. Rounds before going home, 98 y.o. woman stirs and murmurs something....I said 'what?'.....She replied, 'Don't lose any sleep tonight, honey, there was nothing wrong with the meat after all.'........(Whew! That's a relief, huh?!)

pt told me his walker was made given to him by the army and was made from 2 machine guns. haha! the handles do kinda look like triggers I guess.

Specializes in Psych,Labor and Delivery, Long Term Care.

Best story I've got. Super sweet 80 something patient who had some OCD. Things on the floor irritated her, like lint, paper scraps, etc. We had a gold pipe covering on the carpeted area that she would spend hours each day picking at.

Well, one morning, while we were scrambling to get 0600 meds done, she woke up and unknown to use, had a code brown in her attends. Some leaked out, onto the white tile floor...so of course this contrast caught her eye. Before I could stop her, she reached down and stuck her hand right in it! Then, she walks out of her tiled room, into the carpeted hallway and flings it off her hand with the most disgusted look on her face. GREAT MOMENT! :D

Same patient, a different morning was absolutely convinced she needed to stand on the table. We'd pull chairs away, distract her, etc...but before you knew it, she was climbing on the chairs toward the table again!

I miss those days!

I work at a Long Term care Psych Unit.

my resident is a 76 y.o. dementia patient.

Me: Sir were gonna go find your bed come with me

Resident: Okay let me fly the way over there

me: Thats okay with me if you wanna fly but we gotta go this way

(in the room)

me: Here is your bed sir

(man is now grabbing at my body and pushing me onto the bed, rips his shirt down the middle and proceeds to take off his pants)

me: *screams and runs out of the room*

got another cna to assist me.

Resident proceeds to grab at me

me: Sir I am a male CNA I really do feel uncomfortable

resident: Oh your a guy....even better *licks his lips*

I inform my nurse...she laughs and says welcome to being a CNA :) hahahahahaha

Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..

Oh how I love nursing. Where else would we get experiences like these? :D

oh god. When i was at my first CNA job in a nursing home, we had one dementia lady who was an LPN back in her day. She was fairly sharp, but super super confused. You could ask her any nursing question and she would know. You would have no idea talking to her she had dementia, other than short term memory stuff, you would think she is an LPN at our facility. She LOVED helping other residents, which we didn't particularly allow due to safety risks. She liked helping fall risk patients ambulate in the halls, because she thought she was their nurse. I remember once i caught her attempting to help up a fall risk, very large patient. she tells me "This patient just had a big abdominal surgery and hasn't been ambulating. Of course he is a little wobbly. just get me a walker and a gait belt and help me for godsake"

. .i think back to this patient and wonder if this is how many of us nurses are going to be when we are older hehe :)

My best friend and I worked as CNA's at the same LTC. We have decided that we want to be roomies when we get to the point of needing such a facility. Pity the poor staff when we get there . . . we won't drink the juice, won't eat the applesauce or ice cream, and Heaven Forbid -- I won't drink the coffee, either. Which brings me to my story: I was working charge on the 3-11 shift, and was passing meds. One lady was so wise as to where meds could be, she wouldn't take her meds in any of the usual forms or sneaky places that we nurses like to hide them. As much as I hated to do it, I resorted to putting them into her coffee one evening. She was reluctant to drink it. I went into my song and dance about how her daughter had made a special trip to buy her favorite brand of coffee, and had made a pot especially for her. Wouldn't she drink this special coffee??? She looked at me with her icy blue eyes and said (I quote), "S***, she never COULD make good coffee!!!" We all cracked up over THAT answer. Every time after that, when I saw her daughter, I had to laugh to myself and wonder if she knew what her Mom REALLY thought about her coffee!:bdyhdclp:

Specializes in ER.

Hummm- Oh so many!

1. CNAs come to the desk, GAGGING! Stated- We need help with Mr. X. So I go into the room, to find him wrestling with the other CNA- They are both covered in poop, the CNA is trying to keep him from "Recycling" said feces, and it only makes him try to stuff it in his mouth faster...GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAG!

2. 2 confused little old men in the same room, neither have any clue where they are, or what decade it is- talking LOUDLY to each other, but neither making any sense...Pt .1- "Did you see where my wife parked my Chevy?" Pt #2- "I SAID CLOSE THE BARN, DUMMY!!!! The heifers are gettin loose!" Pt 1- It was parked right on the street...I saw it just a minute ago..." Pt #2 No, you can't use the tractor to chase them...."

3. Had a very dememted confused guy- who only had one eye, and was only able to say a few phrases....most often it was "Ohhhh hunnyhunnyhunny hunny hunny....." This gentleman had a Merrywalker, a large chair made from PVC tubeing, that basically made it possible for him to tool around the floors by himself- picture a giant baby walker. So this was a locked geriatric facility- the CNAs came and told me they couldn't find Mr. Hunnyhunnyhunny....so we search the building. Finally found him, he had pushed the laundry room door open and entered, but couldn't get back out, had been bumping around in there like a bee in a bottle. We opened the door, and he fairly FLEW out of the door, down the hall....all we heard was OHHHHHH HUNNY HUNNY HUnny.

4.Went into a room, sniffed- Obviously my confused LOL had had a large result from that Miralax. Flipped the light on, to find that she had taken her poop out of the brief and "decorated" the curtain ala cave dwelling paintings. That, dear friends, is where the term "Free-range curtain turds" came from.

5. LOL- C/O itching from her really nasty yeast infection- says to the other nurse...after scratching her girly bits..."Smell my fingers.."

6. Little old lady- speaks only Spanish. Took 3 of us to wrestle her into a geri-chair. She's out at the desk screaming at us in Spanish . Finally gets so mad at us, she removes her top dentures and THROWS them at us in the nurses station. It was an IFD. Identifiable Flying Dentition.

Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..

Gotta love those folks who are losing their memories, hearing, and everything else. They are such a hoot!!:rotfl: Yeah I know, my day is coming too.:o

Specializes in Acute Care, Rehab, Palliative.

I have a pt right now that loves the word ***hole.She has a couple of baby dolls and a stuffed kitty.I asked her one day what the kitty's name was.She grinned and cheerfully said "***hole". One day a coworker asked her "do you remember my name?" The patient said "yeah,***hole".. She wheels around in her chair all day laughing happily.If you are having a bad day all you have to do is talk to her.No matter what the subject she roars with laughter.

Specializes in Med-Surg/Telemetry.

I just passed NCLEX and I work on a Med-Surg/Telemetry floor that gets tons of geriatric/nursing home patients, this week I will start as a nurse, but here's some of my funny stories (I like these better than my numerous sad stories):

1. I was so aggravated at the time, but I had a lady when I first started that was completely confused. All this lady did was scream and scream. I wanted to get her on a bedpan because she told me she had to go and she tells me she won't get on it unless the fireman come and get her on. I tried to explain to her the fire department wasn't going to come to put her on the bedpan, so I'm sure you can all imagine how that ended.

2. I had this little old man sing You Are So Beautiful To Me shortly after the first incident. He asked me to marry him too. So silly, I didn't mind this as much as the first lady of course.

3. I had another little old man who was pretty confused tell me he was going to jump out the window and he wanted to meet me behind the fences and "neck".

4. He wasn't really confused, but I had a patient a few weeks ago who told me you gotta make sure you're with the right man and not somebody who's just "looking for sex". I had to hold back the laughter.

5. Same day I had another guy, he was confused, tell me how much he loves smoothies, over and over and over again.

6. I had a lady on a fluid restriction who drove me absolutely insane banging her water cup screaming, "I want water!" in her room across from where I was sitting and the lady in the room accross from hers yelling "Help me Jesus, help me Jesus!" Then she switched over to "Help me Randy, help me Randy!" which was her nurse's name.

7. Same lady on the fluid restriction was a hard stick for an IV and I was helping to hold her down because she was super fiesty. We had to get nursing service up to put in her IV and it was a man who was going to put the IV in. He tells her, "Okay, you're going to feel a big stick" and she goes, "I bet you have a big stick!" We couldn't stop laughing.

In general, I always love when confused patients tell me that they have no clue how they IV came out.

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