Funniest/strangest dementia patient stories - page 11

My PDN pt. was eating her lunch and watching TV; I was perusing a catalog.
She leaned over and tapped me on the knee and said,
"Do you realize you're reading that magazine backwards?"
I said, "Do you realize you're eating your soup with a fork?"

An older female pt described their mouth to be so dry that it had a semen taste to it! ..TMI!

A cute and cranky geriatric pt had me help remove his over-sized testicles from beneath him since "the boys have to dance!"

... here's hoping someone thought to put a potty chair in that poor lady's room

One time I said hi to a resident, she motioned for me to come to her and she pointed at a cup and asked me "IS IT OK FOR ME TO BE DRINKING THIS HOLY WATER?" but it was milk.

One time I waked through the door and a resident was in her wheelchair next to it and was like "There you are!! We're sitting with the poultry!"

One resident told me she just saw a zeppelin outside, and the last time she saw one it blew up and everyone died.

One was pointing at another resident who was sitting watching tv, I went up to her and asked her what's up and she said "He just ordered a new couch, cause he's always sittin on that one"

A patient that drank urine out of the urinal and replied "hmm, that's good brandy".

I was taking care of an older man who developed complications after knee replacement and was sent to us in ICU. He had a history of dementia, but most of the time he made perfect sense. One morning he told me it was so loud out in the hall during the night he couldn't sleep. I knew one of the nurses had a birthday and they had ordered a pizza, so yes it probably was loud. He said he thought about getting up and leaving. I said, "You wouldn't get very far," and he said "Lady, I had my horse."