Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart?

Nurses Humor

Published

To start things off, the best and funniest order I have seen on a chart, was in the discharge instructions for a trauma patient. It read simply

Darwin Consult

and was signed by the resident. Well the attending did laugh, but it was not the highpoint of that residents day.

so do you have more?

Double bag lunch QHS. (never asked though if the bags should be doubled or the lunches?)

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Feed and water and put in the sun to grow................. No Joke this doctor is such a smart a**.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ICU, ER, HH, NICU, now FNP.

For a 500 lb Plus patient that took 11 people just to turn her -

"Weigh Daily"

Very well - but we had no scale that went over 450 lbs, the patient couldnt stand and had to be tarped by the fire department whenever we had to move her anywhere.

" :rotfl:

Yeah ...about that order Doc...Good luck with that"

Up Vote Up Vote ×

HOW ABOUT THIS MIND BLOWER::: MAINTAIN BED AT LOWEST LEVEL UNLESS FLOOR IS ELEVATED?????? WHEN I READ THAT, I HAD TO THINK ABOUT IT A MINUTE....LOL

To start things off, the best and funniest order I have seen on a chart, was in the discharge instructions for a trauma patient. It read simply

Darwin Consult

and was signed by the resident. Well the attending did laugh, but it was not the highpoint of that residents day.

so do you have more?

Up Vote Up Vote ×
And I had a pt. with admitting dx of "Eurosepsis". Must have gotten it on a trip.

Also had an order last week: "d/c foley (that means take it out)". You can tell that doc has a high opinion of nurses!

Savvy

Hey, at our hospital we are not supposed to use D/C becuz it could mean discontinue or disconnect or discharge. Maybe the doc was just covering his butt by writing out which D/C he was referring to.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

You all are so super in your quips. I have found like the rest of you that if you don't see the humor in things you might as well hang it up!

I so enjoy all of you and look forward to your "threads" each day that I come on this site.

I am new at this and am stumbling my way around your site.

Thanks for your answers to my comments.

Never heard of any other meaning for d/c except discontinue. Thant was interesti g.

macspuds

Up Vote Up Vote ×
We had a patient once who was an alcoholic and a COPDer. The doc, a pulmonologist, would write..Black Velvet, 30cc Q6hrs,prn..I am NOT kidding either. The pharmacy had to go to the liquor store and buy a bottle of BV and then we had to keep it locked in the narc cupboard and sign out each shot of BV!!!!

Kelly:)

i know that is always a funny order to see, but in the small hospitals in this area there is always a bottle of some brand in the narc box for the DT's that the librium and the ativan can't touch.
Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in floor to ICU.

this wasn't a strange order, but funny...

I had a pt. pass a kidney stone. I didn't have a container in the room to send it to lab, so (like a dummy) I put it in my gloved hand and proceeded to the supply room. Someone asked me what I had in my glove and when I open my hand the stone sprung up like I had bounced it on a trampoline. It was lost in the carpet. When the on-call doc (a real a$$) came in for rounds, I explained what happened. He made the pt stay an extra day for an IVP and wrote in the progress note "NURSE LOST STONE IN CARPET". :uhoh21:

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Speaking of stones....Just last month we had a patient who faked stones to get drugs. Sent 'em to the lab and they came back "quartz"

Sure was a good one on us, til the reports came in.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in everywhere.

I was working Neuro, and had an order for a "glass full" of alcohol of choice q4hrs. The dr. was still on the floor, I asked for a clarification, he stated "a glass full", this went on for a few minutes, then finally he stated just give a couple of shots, give or take. I has seen several orders for alcohol to be given, that was my first one, and the other nurses really gave me a hard time for a long time about requesting that clarification.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

On our admit orders, we have a spot for dx and procedure. We had a repeat tongue cancer patient, and under procedure, the HO wrote "big operation." A couple weeks later, when the patient came back in for repeat surgery, the HO wrote "another big operation."

Also, we had a patient who had a glossectomy and part of her upper lip area removed and she used gum on the upper palate of her mouth to fill the space and help her eat. She had the operation several years earlier and had been doing this for years to aid in eating. HO wrote "Gum to bedside - pt. may have prn at meals. You do not have to chew it for her."

Also had "2 units PRBC if pt. requests." Okay, we give the patients more freedom to participate in their care nowadays, but this is rediculous.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Nurse Scientist-Research.

From a physician notorious for ordering things that a quite obvious and part of routine nursing care like "vitals per floor routine", "call if prn meds not effective".

But my favorite: on a pretty routine average 70-something new onset seizures, but still very alert and oriented, walkie-talkie. . .

"Hold phenobarbital for RR less than or equal 8"

Hummm. . . I might do more than just hold the phenobarb for RR

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment