Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart? - page 11

To start things off, the best and funniest order I have seen on a chart, was in the discharge instructions for a trauma patient. It read simply Darwin Consult and was signed by the... Read More

  1. by   sandman
    I had a resident write an order for Nystatin powder to groin and under wiener!!!
  2. by   caroladybelle
    If Pt's girlfriend leaves drunk-have her arrested if she tries to drive.

    Yeah, this is my job.
  3. by   ShandyLynnRN
    Originally posted by sandman
    I had a resident write an order for Nystatin powder to groin and under wiener!!!
  4. by   Used and abused
    How about a double amputee:
    "ambulate qid 150 feet"
  5. by   liberalrn
    Keep 'em coming!! I am ROFLMAO!!! Keep trying to think of the doozies I've seen, but am laughing too hard!
  6. by   sassynurse78
    I had an order for "a jigger of whiskey qhs" And how many cc's is that?????
  7. by   1savvydiva
    I have heard of the "FLK" also, but the one that got me was a when I was working bed control at the trauma hospital. A resident called (this wasn't common practice, the ER clerk usually just faxed over the pt's info), but this resident called to get this TraumaMale a STU bed. I asked for his dx, and he said "*****", I am like , and he is like "F***ed up beyond ALL repair/recognition" I was like , no he didn't!!! I have heard it used several times since then actually.
  8. by   Liddle Noodnik
    Originally posted by suzannasue
    THEY REFUSED TO TAKE HIM AS A TRANSFER BECAUSE HE HAD NOT BEEN DE-TOXED.
    We have a large (supposedly best in the state) psych unit in our hospital that won't take psych patients from our unit til they are "leveled out" psychiatrically.

    Duh, WHAT?
  9. by   amk1964
    canna42 stole mine......
    Not an order, but a progress note from md describing drainage as "*****" instead of purulent. Pretty ignorant of the English language I would say.
  10. by   lpnbhw
    The stupidist order ive seen written was my daughter had dental surgery(2 extractions). When I asked about something for pain control, he gradually took out his script pad and wrote an order. Not thinking I took the script to the pharmacy considering I didnt even look at it. After handing the script to the pharm tech, I noticed she started laughing ? When I asked her what was so funny, she handed me the script back. It read: 100 milkshakes p.o prn. ......................What a idiot! lol
  11. by   ScarlettRN
    Way back when, my peds instructor in nursing school was a vanderbilt peds nurse. She said that FLK was actually an accurate call for some kids because it characterizes an appearance that indicates something is wrong with the kid, but no specific diagnosis is made yet...so I guess a newborn could get that kind of dx.
    Anyone ever heard of a 5H enema? One doc ordered it and I had only heard of a tripleH enema....it meant High Hot Helluvalot and Hold it til it Hurts. Who comes up with this stuff???
  12. by   gwenith
    Saw one one a patient who was ? "faking" chest pain - "Shortness of breath increasing as I approached the bed."
  13. by   Hellllllo Nurse
    Originally posted by dpqueen
    I once had a doctor whose girlfriend was in the hospital and she wanted her hair to be colored so he wrote the order to apply Loreal to pt hair per instructions on the box. ......YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING.
    I told him that it was outside of my scope of practice, I did not learn how to do that in nursing school.
    Are you serious? What do these idiots think we are?

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