Sigh...the dreaded day...advice needed

Nurses Career Support

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Greetings to all.

I just discovered this site only hours ago through a friend of mine. I am absolutely overjoyed to have stumbled upon such an amazing site such as this one. I am writing this post because...I am seeking outside encouragement...or advice...from other healthcare professionals whom can provide me with an outside perspective.

Presently I am an NP, however, I have never worked as one...in fact...I have never utilized any of my nursing licenses...neither my LVN or RN. I was inspired to become a nurse when I was 14 after being hospitalized for an extended period of time by the nurses who provided me daily care. When it became time for me to pursue a nursing education I soon realized upon the completion of my LVN program that although I loved nursing I was not yet comfortable practicing nursing yet. Eventually, after competing my RN program, I still felt the same way...and my fears and insecurities as a nurse prevented me from once again accepting any job offers and thus I refrained from utilizing another license which I worked extremely hard to obtain. I than decided to stay busy and further my studies which culminated in an APN degree...but sadly...my fears only increased because of the heightened level of autonomy, increased scope of practice, and responsibilities required of APN's. After fulfilling my educational goals and dreams...I never was able to muster the courage to secure any nursing job either as a nurse nor as a midlevel provider. With my education complete, income needed to be generated so I accepted a job not in the healthcare field and am making much less then I am capable of bringing in when considering the income scale of both nurses and APN's in my present location.

In between my schooling I took some time off to marry my longtime partner, who has been my rock throughout my studies, and is the reason I have been afforded the opportunity to pursue my education. He has never pressured me to secure a job and utilize my education until recently as an injury has rendered him disabled which resulted in him leaving the work force until he makes a full recovery. I now feel it is my responsibility to secure a position where I can generate a higher monetary income and make up for the loss in finances, especially when I know I am capable of doing so. A week ago he told me as I was providing him care that perhaps I should consider securing a job in the nursing field.

I am scared...I am discouraged...I don't know where to begin...and despite me being confident in the knowledge I possess...I still do not feel equipped to work as either a nurse or a clinician. I am looking for words of encouragement here I guess or any suggestions on what I could do to overcome my insecurities and fears...or possible suggestions on what work I could possibly do which would ease me into the nursing world.

If you can make it through this long thread...and provide some words of wisdom regarding my circumstances...know that I would appreciate it more than words can express.

Sincerely,

PinkPinster

Not to be a jerk, but does anyone else find it odd to make it through a Master's degree without addressing this issue along the way? I can understand post-grad jitters, but if you are this uncomfortable with nursing, how did you make it through the clinical component? What were you doing before looking for a nursing position? Why were you not interested in pursuing a ARNP job before your husband's disability? In terms of your husband making a full recovery, how long do you expect that to be?

I'm sorry if this is rude and OP is legit, but after reading the Munchausens by internet article I am skeptical of what I read online. I am having a really hard time understanding the dynamics of this situation.

Greetings PunkBenRN,

Your inquiry is absolutely valid. Please dont think me rude when I state what I am about to which is that I simply do not have the time, nor energy to fabricate my extremely long post and open myself up to the very brusque criticism and advice which I have received by various members here. I have a very busy and productive life. In addition I am assuming you utilize the internet and online forums much more than myself which means you have probably encountered such issues before with individuals fabricating complete nonsense stories, however I am not one of those people I assure you.

To your question. My rationale is simply this...I enjoy being a student. I have always excelled in my studies, and there is comfort and excitement that I receive personally when I pursued my education. Also, despite me not desiring to verbalize it, because I am not proud that I have this thought process and simply because it does sound quite sad in terms of my character is that when you are a student it is okay to make a mistake. I am labeled as a student and therefore always have a preceptor to look to and I am not expected to be perfect. Sadly, that has always been a big part of my fear since you must know. I have always received praise in regards to my work ethic, knowledge, and critical thinking skills during my nursing education. The thought of securing a nursing position where I would be functioning completely alone however has always stifled that confidence which I had throughout my schooling. I hope that answers your questions and nullifies your doubts.

Respectfully,

PinkPinkster

Greetings PunkBenRN,

Your inquiry is absolutely valid. Please dont think me rude when I state what I am about to which is that I simply do not have the time, nor energy to fabricate my extremely long post and open myself up to the very brusque criticism and advice which I have received by various members here. I have a very busy and productive life. In addition I am assuming you utilize the internet and online forums much more than myself which means you have probably encountered such issues before with individuals fabricating complete nonsense stories, however I am not one of those people I assure you.

To your question. My rationale is simply this...I enjoy being a student. I have always excelled in my studies, and there is comfort and excitement that I receive personally when I pursued my education. Also, despite me not desiring to verbalize it, because I am not proud that I have this thought process and simply because it does sound quite sad in terms of my character is that when you are a student it is okay to make a mistake. I am labeled as a student and therefore always have a preceptor to look to and I am not expected to be perfect. Sadly, that has always been a big part of my fear since you must know. I have always received praise in regards to my work ethic, knowledge, and critical thinking skills during my nursing education. The thought of securing a nursing position where I would be functioning completely alone however has always stifled that confidence which I had throughout my schooling. I hope that answers your questions and nullifies your doubts.

Respectfully,

PinkPinkster

You'll be precepted at first and learn the ropes. And you always have back up, whether its an MD or another NP or your charge nurse. And if you lack backup I wouldn't take the job.

I get liking to be a student too. I was also freaked out at going on my own, and somedays I have anxiety when I walk into the building. But you don't know the awesome feeling when it's you alone and you figure something out and a patient grabs your hand and is so excited you helped them, or the excitement you get when a patient says "you're a great nurse."

We all make mistakes. You are not going to be perfect, you have to accept that. Nobody is expecting you to be perfect and they expect you will make a mistake or two.

Again, you state this is a "fear." I really think its time for you to consider seeing a therapist to reevaluate you.

Just wanted to update everyone and let you know that I secured a 2nd interview for a small rural family practice. This interview will consist of meeting the staff and currently exiting Office Manager. The position is for a Practice Manager which the Doctor stated he would like to be a combination of an Office Manager as well as provider. The current Office Manager who has been there for years and started as a Medical Assistant was just accepted into a PA program so will be leaving. The Doctor stated that his wife who is an RN encouraged him to consider hiring an NP or PA who could assume the Managerial responsibilities as well as see patients. I am super excited and have an amazing feeling about this potential job. I have an extensive background in management and am confident as a Manager. The physician is extremely nice and is looking to bring in another provider so that he can "have some free time with his wife". He has never had a midlevel provider in his practice before which makes me feel so much less intimidated...although I must say I am extremely nervous still. I was completely honest with him about everything. He asked the question I was dreading as well which was "I see that after graduating you pursued a non-nursing job which you are still currently employed at, is that correct?". I simply stated the truth. He smiled and seemed amused but really didn focus on the question any longer as I feared he would. The practice is extremely small and consists of 2 Medical Assistants, 2 Receptionists, the Doctor, and an Office Manager who I would be replacing if offered the job.

The only negative factor is that the office is two towns away which would take me an hour one way to get their. It is in the country however so there is no traffic. The pay will be 20 dollars more than I am making now which is more than I could ask for.

I have never been this optimistic about a job before...especially a nursing job :) Wish me luck please. And again thank you to everyone for your continued advice. I look forward to it. I also have one other interview later towards the end of the week in case this for some reason falls through. :)

Respectfully,

PinkPinkster

Specializes in Psychiatric Nursing.

Yay!!!Congratulations!!

Sounds great! Also sounds like you will become invaluable to this MD soon enough. All you need to do is just keep moving when in private practice, LOL. Just keep it moving. :up:

Specializes in Adult Internal Medicine.

Remember you are never alone! I consult with my MD and NP colleagues many times a day, and they do the same.

Really to be a good provider there is one simple secret: know what you don't know, and know how to find the answer. If I am unsure, I consult a colleague. If they are unsure I am in the phone to a specialist.

Best of luck in our interview. That's a challenging role to fill. Honestly, I would look for on where you can spend dedicated time learning to be a provider and slowly ramp up.

Specializes in kids.
Is your registration still up to date?

I'm curious too, Don't you need a certain number of hours working to maintain licensure?

Specializes in Adult Internal Medicine.

ANCC says 1000 hours per 5 years (each renewal) but state BoN/BoM may have additional requirements.

You just need to get a job in nursing. Just do it. Nobody is competent in anything until they do it. It is that simple. You will not gain confidence until you get a job, you learn, and then you do.

Congrats on the job offer Pink Pinkster!!! And welcome to this site. Once you start working, I don't think it'll be as bad as you imagine. It's a matter of getting oriented to what that practice wants, and then it's just repetition, which helps boost your confidence. Soon you'll feel as confident as an APN as you do with management. If I were in your shoes, I'd be seeking APN jobs, not RN jobs. Why learn two different positions (which can be very different) when you've got the brains behind the APN? You can do it!

Specializes in Trauma Surgical ICU.

So, did you get the job??

While nursing is a tough job with much to be responsible for the only quote I live by is "nothing to it but to do it". Please don't get me wrong, I am by no means playing down our role but we can't let fear stop us. We have to use that fear to push us to be better, learn more etc. We all have anxiety in some form or another and we will all have difficult situations to maneuver through. The thing is, with each new situation we learn, grow and reflect.

Specializes in med/surg; floatpool, mom/baby, nursery.

I didn't even know you could get into NP school without some experience working as a nurse first?

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